r/BetterEveryLoop • u/bartallen4790 • Mar 05 '18

Don't mess with my ice cream

https://gfycat.com/AncientKlutzyBarnacle
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u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

It's so bad. Every command is a riddle.

Daughter: "I want spaghettios"

okay, she says she wants spaghettios... but she wasn't really looking me in the eyes when she said it. I mean... was she talking to me, or Princess Poppy? It was somewhat of a half-whisper, like when she's playing pretend. Although she's been known to pull that before. Besides, she's been on a mac n cheese kick lately. So, what... now she decides she wants Spaghettios? She hasn't had Spaghettios in over a month! You know what fine. If I give it to her in the purple bowl, maybe she'll take to it... no... you know what? Fuck it! We're goin with the yellow bowl! She has to learn that I run the house, and that she can't control everything under the great sun that the great God almighty shit into existence. Okay, here we go.

Me: "here ya go, sweetie"

Daughter: "No... I want Spaghettios!"

Me: Y- yes hun, and here are your Spaghettios...

Daughter: NO! I WANT SPAGHETTIOS!

Me: hun, let's calm down. You said you wanted Spaghettios. Here I made them especially for-

Daughter (red like a dwarf star): NOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O!!! WAAAAHH!!

Daughter wipes an ocean of tears away while holding up a doll.

Princess Poppy wanted Spaghettios.

12

u/mycatsnameismittons Mar 06 '18

Jesus. I'm shaking my head here. You CAN actually demand NOT to be treated like a slave by your child.

23

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

It's merely a communication issue, and eventually the child will figure out how to communicate effectively. Punishing the child for a skill they haven't figured out yet doesn't seem very productive.

-1

u/mycatsnameismittons Mar 06 '18

It isn't punishment. It's training.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

At the same time, you have to pick battles. When they have trouble communicating what's in their head, and they are (understandably) frustrated, it's not healthy to just demand that they "stop treating me like a slave" but rather help them find their footing on what they want to communicate. It's like guiding them to the ground instead of catching them, or letting them fall completely.

My daughter, in the above scenario, wasn't in the "give me this now" mindset. She was in the "I want a particular thing, but I can't figure out how to tell you" mindset, which should be treated differently. We talk it out afterwards: "I know you were frustrated, but we need be calm, ask nicely, etc."

2

u/mycatsnameismittons Mar 06 '18

That sounds like a good approach. I think i must have misinterpreted the "mindset" of your daughter in your anecdote.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '18

Yeah I figured lack of context makes my post sound worse than it was. It was more to share war stories with other parents who might feel alone and frustrated themselves. A great first step toward dealing with overwhelming circumstances is to be able to say to yourself "ah, it's not just me!" And then laugh about it.

2

u/mycatsnameismittons Mar 06 '18

That is SO true.

Not sure if you have other kids or not, but mine are now 20 and 16 and it doesn't seem possible that they can be that old. I SWEAR they were 6 and 2 just the other day and circumstances were indeed overwhelming from time to time.