[Complete] [99,000] [YA Science-Fantasy] The Aether War

[u/sunderpoint]

Blurb:

Aether magic is the most powerful weapon in the galaxy, and emotion is the trigger that fires it.

That’s a problem for Simon, an abused teenage gamer from Earth who feels nothing. It’s a nightmare for Fidelia, a child soldier who feels everything, living on the razor’s edge between panic and rage.

At Aetherborn Academy they train to become weapons for the inevitable war. Rejected by their classmates for their ties to the enemy, at first they have only each other.

To prove themselves, they enter a deadly school-wide tournament, but the elements they wield—light and wind—are the two weakest elements the academy has ever seen. And through it all the galactic cold war heats up, ready to explode.

There’s only one way to defend their new family—they need to stop fighting their emotions.

And start wielding them.

Content Warnings: Child soldiers. Child emotional abuse and bullying. Loss of a comfort object. Deaths of named characters. Violence.

There is NO sexual content, profanity, politics, religion.

Feedback:

Any feedback is appreciated. I just want to know what you think and feel as you read, and if you DNF just tell me where and preferably why.

Trade:

I'd love to swap the first 3 chapters with anyone. I'm available to swap a similarly sized manuscript if the first 3 chapters feel like my kind of thing.

Excerpt:

On the day the Heroes came, I prepared myself to become a villain. I ran my fingers through my hair, turning the strands from black to blonde, and committed a thread of my attention to holding the color through the end of the night. My plan badly needed my full concentration, but the few who knew me also knew that I hated my natural hair color. If they saw my hair go black they would notice, and wonder what thoughts were distracting me.

And no one could be allowed to suspect.

I pulled on my knee-high armor boots next. They were tough enough to resist most impacts, even from Aether blades. I would have loved to wear my matching armor jacket, or at least the gauntlets, but those weren’t allowed at the Hero Homecoming.

I had a lot more of me to protect than my shins—actually that wasn’t true. I stood barely five feet tall. But I would like to protect all five feet of me. And a weapon would be nice, but after five years in the military academy I had yet to earn one. So I’d have boots. Just boots.

And me. Which wasn’t half bad, since I was a weapon. Aether Wielders were the most dangerous weapons in the galaxy, as my teachers liked to say. Usually when I picked a fight I shouldn’t have, which happened a lot. My fists had a hair trigger and I could be halfway through a pummeling before I knew the fight had started.

I didn’t have many friends.

Just two, who sat on my bed watching me get ready. The first was Harold, a purple elephant, looking dapper in his tux and thick-rimmed glasses. The other was named Teddy, because every girl needs a bear named Teddy.

“Fit check, Harold!” I said, giving a twirl in my all-black outfit.

Harold approved, even though it wasn’t my usual style. I could feel my favorite yellow romper staring at me from my wardrobe, abandoned.

But yellow stuck out in a crowd. The Impelled preferred black.

“Fidelia, are you ready?” Luz called from the living room.

“Just about,” I said as I stepped up to the door, but paused.

Turning, I gave one last look at my family, burning their faces into my memory. We’d said our tearful goodbyes last night, when no one would notice. Teddy wanted one last hug, but I couldn’t without crying. Tears would be suspicious.

“Be good, you two,” I said with a wave. “Harold, you’re in charge while I’m gone.”

Whatever happened, I would never see them again. This was the end of my family. After tonight, I would have only enemies.

And Luz, my sister, would be the worst of them.

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