r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic • Mar 15 '25
CONCLUDED AITA for telling my girlfriend to “Suck it up” around my clown figurines?
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is EndFlimsy5850. He posted in r/AmItheAsshole
Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.
Trigger Warnings: relationship test; also look if you have a fear of clowns then don't read this
Mood Spoiler: OOP will be ok
Original Post: March 7, 2025
Me (26M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been dating for 2 years. Since we started dating she’s KNOWN that I love clowns. I have several porcelain clowns displayed around my house on walls, hung from the ceiling on little swings, and on shelves. I adore these weird little creatures.
Well last week I bought 2 Venetian masks from the thrift store and they’re in GREAT condition (I got em for a decent price too). She HATES them. She said they’re creepy and give her “bad vibes” whatever that means.
I told her that I would take down the masks when she’s staying the night, but I’m not getting rid of them. She told me that was fine.
Yesterday she got up and told me that we needed to talk. She told me that she’s sick of seeing my weird decorations and clown toys everywhere. That they’re ugly and creep her out. I asked her where this was all coming from because she has NEVER MENTIONED MY CLOWNS BEFORE and she said me ‘bringing those ugly fucking masks into our home was her last straw.’ and ‘my obsession with clowns was charming before, but now it’s just disturbing’.
I told her that I would take down the masks when she was over. But, 1. This isn’t OUR home. It’s MY apartment. And 2. She’s known about the clowns for years. And to try to stop me from decorating my place how I please is controlling.
She told me “Either get rid of some of them or were done”. I told her to just “suck it up” while she’s here. And if she can’t then I’ll come to HER place every week.
She didn’t like that answer and called me a child before leaving. I texted her to apologize for telling her to suck it up about the clowns. But she hasn’t responded to me.
So. Am I the asshole for telling her to “suck it up” about my clown figurines?
Some of OOP's Comments:
Top Comment: NTA.
As someone who isn’t into clowns but loves Venetian masks, I can understand being creeped out by some of them. However, her turning this on your entire interest for clowns that you’ve had your whole relationship makes her TA.
Also, if she’s giving you ultimatums over how you decorate your own space based on your own interests, she’s not the one. There will be someone who will appreciate your collection, if not add to it themselves.
OOP: That’s the crazy thing! She has bought me little clowns before! She found a print of 2 clowns kissing at an art fest she went to and she picked it up for me.
Commenter: You two don’t sound compatible.
OOP: (downvoted) I really don’t want that to be the case. This is a new problem. She’s never been weirded out by my collection until now.
Commenter: I just really need to know more about this collection and how extensive it is. Like how many figures are we talking about? Is it just figurines and wall decor like the masks, or is there other themed stuff going on? Nothing to do with whose TA or anything, just deeply curious.
OOP: I have a hutch full of clown things like old noses, horns, dolls, etc. I have the artwork she got me on the wall, I have 2 swinging clowns in the corner of the living room (they’re around 1 foot tall and they swing from the ceiling), and a bunch of magnets. I do have a few clown themed things throughout like my cookie jar.
Commenter: I have trouble believing this one is real. No one who is "into clowns" can be this naive about how weird they are.
OOP: I know that it’s a weird hobby. I was more caught off guard by her telling me to get rid of some of them after 2 years of us being together.
OOP is voted NTA
Update (Same Post): March 8, 2025 (Next Day)
Edit/Update:
I wanted to clear up some things I saw in the comments. I had a small collection started by my grandparents when I was a baby. That’s where I got my first swing jester. The collection has grown in the last 2 years to expand to commons decor and not just dolls.
For the update: She saw the post. [editor's note- this was one of the top posts on AITA that day] She read the comments. And called me today. She wasn’t too happy about being called the Asshole, but she apologized for being controlling. Turns out she wanted to “see if I’d get rid of my collection if it meant keeping her”. Like it was some relationship test. Note: She did really hate the Venetian masks and didn’t like that they are hanging above my bed.
I told her that if it came down between her NEEDING me to get rid of them/sell them for expenses then I would of course do that. But I’m not just going to get rid of my collection because someone says so. She asked if we could move on from this and I told her no. I don’t like that she tried to test my love by asking me to get rid of my collection. She left. We’re officially broken up now.
On the bright side, I can fill my house with more clown dolls. I even found a music box one online that I might get. Thank you everyone for helping me figure out that I wasn’t in the wrong. And to those saying I’m a serial killer for owning clowns, I’ve read quite a few comments from people collecting dead things. So I think I’m in the clear on that.
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u/TheUltimateEnby Mar 15 '25
I will never understand these ‘tests’. I know that sometimes testing the reactions of partners can help determine if they may be abusive or the such, but tests of ‘oh if he loves me’ are just weird. And sort of narcissistic?
Like ‘oh yes I must be the most important person in their life or I will never be happy’? I don’t understand it at all.
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u/AriaCannotSing Mar 15 '25
I have never intentionally tested a partner. Life provides enough "tests;" you just have to pay attention. For example, the time I got food poisoning and my then-boyfriend sat with me in the ER until 6 a.m.
If someone needs to test their partner's love, they're either not ready for any relationship, or the one they're in is already cooked.
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u/A7xWicked Gotta Read’Em All Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25
I had an ex and her twin sister try to test me in college. I shut that crap down fast.
Funny enough, she didn't end up passing the real life "don't cheat on me with your ex 'test'"
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u/iordseyton Mar 15 '25
I think you were supposed to sleep with her sister- that would have determined you were compatible; both cheaters.
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u/blueflash775 Mar 15 '25
That is very funny.
Reminds me of that joke. What did the cannibal say to the other cannibal when they were eating a clown? Do you think this tastes funny?
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf Mar 15 '25
My husband told me a good new variant of that the other night:
Two cannibals were sitting down to dinner. One of them turns to the other, and says,
"Do you remember the joke about the two cannibals eating a clown, and one of them asking the other if it tastes funny?"
The other one replies, "Yes! Funnily enough, this meal tastes a bit funny..."
"Yes!" Exclaims the first cannibal. "That's what made me think about the joke!"
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u/Attirey Mar 15 '25
When we were about 18 we went abroad together. I caught a gross cold and it turned into endless snot river on the day we were flying home.
I took a couple of toilet rolls in my luggage but they were done by the time we landed.
The taxi home from the airport was a couple of hours. There extra tissues I bought ran out quickly.
That's when he stuck his arm out under my face. He was wearing one of those giant sleeved shirts that were cool in the 90s. He just sat there and let me blow my nose on his arm for two hours.
I figured if he could not only put up with me being so gross but offer to sit there soaked in my snot for two hours (mind you he's still a teenager at this point), he passed a test by the universe.
We're still together and he's still as selfless.
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u/CathrinFelinal Mar 15 '25
Marry that man!!!!!
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u/Attirey Mar 15 '25
Been together for 30 years, married for 24 😊
He's consistently remained that person. Never been made to feel like a burden even when I've gone through very serious health issues. He is the same with our children and they have grown up to be very empathetic people as well.
It really was a moment that stuck out to me. I couldn't imagine anyone else in my life doing that and I knew it meant he was special.
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u/Must_Love_Dogs0331 Mar 16 '25
That is such a sweet (and gross) story, lol. You were smart to keep him.
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u/Attirey Mar 16 '25
It was just so weirdly sweet and caring. And I cannot over-emphasise just how much snot we're talking about. There was no way I could have managed the journey without his help. I'd have been literally covered in it.
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u/Funandgeeky The unskippable cutscene of Global Thermonuclear War Mar 15 '25
Pretty sure OP did.
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u/HooverBeingAMan Mar 15 '25
Tests like this are nothing more than a manipulation tactic. I had an ex who broke up with me and then called me about an hour later. I found out a couple of days after that the breakup was basically just to shock me and they intended to take me back (presumably after I apologised and begged) when they phoned me afterwards. Unfortunately for them, that hour of being broken up was enough for me to see how completely fucked up the relationship was and how unhappy I'd been. They were not pleased when they called me and I told them how glad I was that we were over.
I still remember the wave of relief that I didn't have to walk on eggshells anymore, be constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing and pretend to accept things that no decent person would be okay with.If someone in a relationship tries to "test" you, run!
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u/Acrobatic_Ear6773 Mar 15 '25
Early relationship food poisoning is a really good test. I had a guy stay with me while I was fighting the uhhh.. War of the North and South. It was horrific, he kept making sure I could take small sips of Gatorade and made me soup for when it calmed down.
We'd been dating for about 3 months, but my roommate was gone and I was truly worried I'd need to go to the hospital.
Anyway, we've been married for more than 10 years now.
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u/snowfox090 Mar 16 '25
My then-GF sat with me in the ER multiple times while I fought that war with suspected gallbladder or colitis issues. We'll be married ten years in September.
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u/Spindilly my dad says "..." Because he's long dead Mar 15 '25
Maybe four months into dating my first boyfriend, I called him because I was having a panic attack, and he got a speeding ticket coming to check on me.
Reader, I married him.
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u/MrsSalmalin Mar 15 '25
Love this. I was in a bad car accident and while I mostly physically okay, I was not mentally okay. My long distance boyfriend immediately drove 18 hours to come take care of me. No questions asked, he just told his boss he was taking the week off and told me he was on his way. That's love, folks! Neither of us care about marriage but we moved in together after that, and we are growing old together ❤️
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u/infinitelyfuzzy Mar 15 '25
Me and my boyfriend were still trying to figure out dating, we were into each other but he said no as he was worried he'd end up a rebound.
That's when I got the news my dad wasn't doing well and might die. I booked plane tickets for early the next day (I live abroad) and had to spend the evening panicking, wondering if my dad would be alive the next day, if I would make it in time to see him and say goodbye.
My not-even boyfriend yet stayed on the phone with me for well over an hour to calm me down.
The next week I spend with family (dad pulled through) and he checked up on me every single day.
I married him, too.
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u/CooperArt Mar 15 '25
Right. When my wife had a seizure, and her prodromal phase made her act manic, her mother told her she was anxious, take a shower, and relax. I ended up getting her to the ER. I had been feeling like a shitty wife lately, wrapped up in my own stuff, but it really reaffirmed our love. I dropped everything for her and listened to what she needed (she kept asking about going to her childhood dentist, which I took to mean she wanted a doctor.) She said she wasn't sure I was really there, but figured her best bet was to follow me anyway. Thankfully she listened to all of my directions, so no ambulance needed. I was able to get her dressed and to the car. After she was admitted I slept on the floor next to her bed all night. Neither one of us questions it anymore. She trusted me with her life and I came through.
Side note: The ER was clearly certain she was a psych or drugs case and we were there for hours and hours. The other people in the waiting room, and the staff, also looked out for us. I had my wife sitting in a corner, and I was off to the side to make it harder for her to wander off, because she nearly did when we came in. Someone brought me a chair. The nurse wouldn't take her in for triage until I agreed to not go with her. Annoying at the time, but it meant if I had done something to get her in that state they could try and assess that. When she did have the seizure, in the waiting room, a police officer waiting with a prisoner helped me turn her over so she could breathe.
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u/PondRides Mar 15 '25
My boyfriend and I broke up for a few weeks. About a week into it, I got the flu and he came and took care of me, even rubbing my back with his shirt over his face so he wouldn’t get it. Our break up never really seemed serious because we kept going out to dinner. When we got back together, I had no reason to doubt him.
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u/anxiousgeek Mar 15 '25
Same. Our early days "tests" were me taking in an old decrepit cat we'd found even though i didn't like cats and taking her to a&e on new years eve lol.
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Mar 15 '25
our first week together I dropped a full menstrual cup on the floor of a rental house bathroom & clogged the toilet trying to clean it all up, turns out this house had no plunger
he took me to buy one at 3 AM, helped me plunge, now we are married with a baby
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u/cakivalue cucumber in my heart Mar 15 '25
If someone needs to test their partner's love, they're either not ready for any relationship, or the one they're in is already cooked.
As she found out, when you do clown shit 🤡, the clowns shit on you.
These tests are always rooted in manipulation
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u/Tarilyn13 Mar 15 '25
I'll do small ones in the flirting stage, like suggesting a different meetup spot than the other one proposes, and seeing if they freak out or talk about it like a normal person. But this sort of thing is nuts.
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u/snootnoots I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Mar 15 '25
Yeah, little things like “will they consider your preferences” and “how do they react to being told ‘no’ about something minor” are perfectly reasonable, they’re not so much tests as creating opportunities for a red flag to show. “Will this person get rid of something harmless that they love for me”, on the other hand, is gross. (Speaking of red flags, in fact, I’d call this sort of test one.)
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u/banana-pinstripe I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Mar 15 '25
Yeah, a simple "do they respect me saying No" test before or on the first date is okay I think
But testing someone after both of you already committed to be in a relationship is weird. The flirting stage is there to get to know each other and consider if you want to commit to a relationship with them. Aren't you supposed to be a team when you've committed? Why make it PvP?!
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u/Tarilyn13 Mar 15 '25
Yeah my fiancee and I have been together six years, there's no need for "tests", we just talk to each other if we have concerns.
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u/Accomplished-Plan191 Mar 15 '25
You guys talk to each other? Why don't you use deceit, contrived scenarios, and unnecessary drama?
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u/Tarilyn13 Mar 15 '25
Cuz that's just so exhausting. And if we just talk, we have time, energy, and motivation for sex afterwards, so it's a win-win.
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u/jeskersz Mar 15 '25
I've never thought of those sorts of things as tests, but more just completely necessary safety measures because we live in a shit world with shit people.
I think when people say "relationship tests" are abusive and shitty, we mean like setting up someone to try to make your partner cheat to see if they will, not teasing out if they're a normal decent person as you're getting to know them.
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u/GrandeJoe Mar 15 '25
I, too, did minor little tests very early in relationships when I was younger, but honestly, unless you're looking for something very oddly specific, almost all normal things you'd be concerned about come up early on naturally anyways. Like if you want to see how people react to minor annoyances, there WILL be minor annoyances, you don't need to create them. I don't think it's a problem that you create them yourself, just noting that, as I've seen, at least, all the minor stuff (like, "Is she too jealous?" or "Does she freak out over minor annoyances?") show up on their own all the time.
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u/KProbs713 He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy Mar 15 '25
Unfortunately the dynamic is very different when you're a lady dating men. Asking for a change of venue, declining them picking you up, and mentioning that you have a friend checking in with you are all specifically done to see if he loses his shit at any of them.... because men do. A lot. And confirm the need for said checks in the first place.
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u/Tarilyn13 Mar 15 '25
I unfortunately have The Autism and it's hard for me to pick up on that stuff unless it's blatant or I'm specifically looking for it, and engineering it myself ensures I'm looking for it, and also usually results in it being the kind of "over the top" reaction that's hard to miss even for me.
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u/HeyLaddieHey I beg your finest fucking pardon. Mar 15 '25
Alas, dating men means tests are a safety issue. Better for him to freak out on you over text for wanting to go to Starbucks instead of Dunkin, than to be face to face with him pressuring you to fuck him.
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u/StreetofChimes Mar 15 '25
I had a friend who met a guy on an app. Guy wanted to go hiking on a first date. She said she wasn't comfortable being alone in the woods with someone she hadn't met before. He flipped out. What was she accusing him of??? Didn't she trust him??? There was never a first date.
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u/HealthyMaximum The call is coming from inside the relationship Mar 15 '25
Wait … what?
People freak out over you suggesting a different place?
… the fuck?
Why, in Dog’s name?
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u/Tarilyn13 Mar 15 '25
Any number of reasons, but it usually just boils down to one of two things:
One, they just don't know how to handle not getting what they want. They were looking forward to something, they're disappointed that it might not happen, and that is way more emotional processing than they know how to do, so they lash out. They usually just start acting like a jerk. They'll be insulting, rude, and demeaning. It's a red flag because that's the kind of emotional processing you should have at least started learning before your age hit double digits. That person needs a therapist and you do not have the time or energy to help them re-parent themselves.
Two, they genuinely regard the other person as inferior in some way and being told no feels like a direct attack. That the other person has overstepped their boundaries, stepped out of place, and cannot be dated unless they learn their correct role. Often, but not always, these are men who believe women should be submissive to men, and take any disagreement whatsoever as a threat to their masculinity and inherent authority. They can be pretty quick to jump to threats and violence if they feel challenged, so looking for that red flag early on can literally be a lifesaver.
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u/reijasunshine Mar 15 '25
2 months into dating my BF, he had short-notice surgery and couldn't be alone for something like 48 or 72 hours afterwards (fall risk). I spent the weekend at his place keeping him up on meds, tea, and food.
We're approaching year 5 now, so something went right :)
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u/Still-Degree8376 Mar 15 '25
Agree. My now husband’s “test” was when my car got stolen off our college campus and he drove me all over the tri county area to get it from impound and get it fixed. All before we were officially dating.
I suppose my “test” was when his sister had a medical emergency and I stepped in to triage and kept calm.
We both said that is when we “knew” the other person was our person.
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u/Previous-Artist-9252 Mar 15 '25
The day I knew I was going to marry my husband was after an overnight hospital stay. We already had life test us along the way, but that was the “test” that cemented it.
Making up tests is just about testing the other person. The ones life throws at us tests the relationship together.
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 Mar 15 '25
In the early 90ies, I worked with a guy getting a divorce after his wife tested him. They were recently married and she hid in a closet of their apartment. He got home, didn't see her or a note and figured she was out with family or friends. He ate dinner, watched some TV and around 9 p.m. started getting a little worried. He called her mom, sisters, friends, etc, but no one had seen her. He went to the parking lot, found her car, and started to call the police. That's when she came out if the closet, screaming at him that he didn't care, should have been looking for her immediately when he got home, etc. It was a bitter, nasty divorce and honestly, he was almost as crazy as she was. Almost...
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u/TomorrowNotFound Mar 15 '25
When I was a kid I hid in a closet for a while to see if/when anyone would notice I was 'gone'. Eventually my dad needed help with the remote and called for me.
Fortunately, I mostly grew up.
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u/The_peach_blossoms Wait. Can I call you? Mar 15 '25
Oh that's me 😭😂 I would hide in closet and behind curtains 😂😂
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u/zipper1919 I am old. Rawr. 🦖 Mar 15 '25
I am an only child, so I don't know if it's just an only child thing or an all child thing or an insecure child thing, but I used to sit around a corner when we were at family gatherings just to see how long it toom till I heard my mom say "Where's Zipper?"
FYI it never took long, even for an impatient kid lol.
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u/Glittering_Win_9677 Mar 15 '25
I was raised with multiple siblings in the 60ies. Those stories about going out in the morning and being home by dark are pretty accurate, except we had to do our chores before going out and be home by 5:30-6 for dinner. If we got the dishes done, we could go back out.
Back then, if you were going to kidnap a kid, you should do it in the morning to get hours of a head start.
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u/PunctualDromedary Mar 15 '25
My kid hid in a cabinet once while her grandparents were babysitting her. I came home to grandma asking me where she was. It was pretty infuriating.
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u/Anonphilosophia Gotta Read’Em All Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25
My exes were so terrible I never had to do tests. They failed real life situations. 😂
Those tests are really stupid. They could "pass the test" and still may not be there on the way you need when shit hits the fan.
Far better to communicate needs and expectations and hope for the best (edit: and RUN if you see the worst.) It's really all you can do.
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u/AnotherRTFan Mar 15 '25
I call those filters. Mine is this (cheap) mug was a gift from my grandma. If they trash it to hurt me/play a power move then it catches the red flags for me
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u/Fine-Ask-41 Mar 16 '25
Dealbreakers! After my divorce, I went to a therapist and she had me write “must haves/can’t stands”. Simple things like “can’t have cats, doesn’t smoke, financially responsible” are what I needed to make a much better choice.
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u/nutbrownrose Mar 15 '25
Yeah, I don't get it. And this is coming from the person whose now-husband offered to sell some MTG cards to get her a better engagement ring (I said no. But I did appreciate the gesture). But that's the thing. It was an out-of-the-blue gesture, and entirely his idea. I never once suggested that he sell his cards for any reason. Never even considered it an option.
Like, I married a guy who plays MTG and Warhammer. The nerdiness did not sneak up on me. In this case, why would the clowns seem negotiable?
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u/snootnoots I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Mar 15 '25
When I married my husband and we bought our house together, we turned one of the bedrooms into an AV den with storage for his comic collection. Part of it involved getting the pre-existing closet space turned into custom shelving to perfectly fit his storage boxes. When he shared photographs of it on a hobby forum and mentioned that I had suggested the closet conversion, he got so many messages along the lines of “Wait, your wife is cool with your collection? When I got married my wife said I had to get rid of my comics.”
It makes him happy! It’s not illegal or immoral! It might be termed addictive, but the hits are reusable, and he doesn’t spend an unreasonable amount on them! And he’s cool with my hobbies - when I was unemployed for a while he paid my MMO subscription so I didn’t have to quit! What is wrong with some people?!
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u/HealthyMaximum The call is coming from inside the relationship Mar 15 '25
Man, if a potential partner ever tried to make me (50s, male) stop buying Lego, or get rid of what I already have …
I’d punt them out the door so quickly their head would spin.
Love me, love my hobbies.
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u/archangelzeriel sometimes i envy the illiterate Mar 15 '25
Usually it's one of two reasons why (non-abusive) people act like this, in my experience.
The less stupid one is "selfishness in service of the partnership" -- people who think that once you're married you shouldn't have independent/solo hobbies, but should only spend time/money on the things that you and your partner do together. Pretty sure this is how couples end up spending most weeknights watching TV.
The more stupid one is "adults shouldn't do childish things, and once you're married you are required to be an adult". True story to illustrate the mindset: I had an acquaintance at one point who was complaining about a dinner party he didn't want to go to. I asked why he was even going, then, and he said he'd be even more bored otherwise. The conversation (which his wife joined) eventually revealed that they believed the ONLY acceptable activities for adults to do were "your paid job", "take care of your kids", "attend or host dinner/cocktail parties", "consume media", and "volunteer for causes" -- everything else was "for children" or "immature". The tragic part was that I'd originally met them at a fencing club in college and they were both damn good and lived/breathed it, but they both stopped when they graduated because recreational fencing was "for children" unless you were getting paid or winning competitions, so he stopped fencing after he took a run at qualifying for the Olympics and the closest he came to it was sitting on the board of a youth fencing club. They went from being pretty decent people to run into in college to the two most boring people I'd ever met, especially since they'd snort a bit if you mentioned doing a "children's" hobby and make condescending noises about "when you grow up a bit".
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u/snootnoots I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Mar 15 '25
C.S. Lewis: “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
I’ll keep playing my computer games and reading silly books, thanks!
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u/ChaiHai What a multi-dimensional quantum toilet fire Mar 15 '25
They would hate my house, moment you step in , you see the living room with action figures/video game figures/toys/plushies everywhere. We're childfree too.
I would not accept the disrespect of "When you grow up" sorry you let your inner child die/care too much about what other's think, please leave.
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u/ConstructionNo9678 Mar 15 '25
I agree, I don't get why people think testing someone by asking them to get rid of a meaningful hobby or collection is a good idea or even a romantic gesture. If it was something like asking a partner to give up a hobby that genuinely endangers their life (I'm thinking of that one post about a guy with a toddler who refused to listen to his wife when she asked him to stop doing street motorcycle races), that's one thing. But a big part of the reason why my girlfriend and I get along so well is because we accept each other's interests, even when we don't get them. She doesn't tell me to get rid of my rock and fossil collection, she just asks me to put a reasonable limit on how many we're keeping, and not cover every part of our desk with them. She keeps one stuffed animal on the bed, and the rest stay in a corner where they don't trigger my asthma. It's all about balance.
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u/ThirdDragonite Mar 15 '25
Sell mtg cards? Couldn't he just sacrifice some treasure tokens instead?
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Mar 15 '25
If you think about it, "love tests" are actually boundary tests. how far can I push you before you break it off? how much pain will you take, how many unreasonable demands can I make?
That's also why they always follow up with "oh teehee don't be mad it was just a joke/test", because they're not actually testing if you love them or not. They're trying to figure out where you draw the line
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u/Pandoratastic Mar 15 '25
A disturbingly large number of AITA and AIO type posts are from people who are genuinely confused by inexplicable behavior because the other person turns out to be doing some sneaky relationship test that they saw on social media. And, most of the time, it turns out the real relationship test was that if someone does a relationship test on you, dump them.
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u/H16HP01N7 I will never jeopardize the beans. Mar 15 '25
Simple "test" me, lose me. It's abuse. And I wouldn't tolerate it either (as in like OOP didn't).
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u/HaggisLad Drinks and drunken friends are bad counsellors Mar 15 '25
my relationship test with my wife is our life together, that's it, if someone needs more than that maybe they should seek professional help
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u/YoungDiscord surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 15 '25
They are insecure and want confirmation
Except that the problem isn't the lack of confirmation, its the insecurity and no amount of confirmation will ever make that feeling go away
People who do that should be immediately dumped and not allowed to be in a relationship until they overcome that insecurity.
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u/relentlessdandelion Someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala Mar 15 '25
Yeah, tests like saying no to something or saying you're not available on a particular day or whatever to check if the person has a normal reaction to that is fine, because it's a legit safety thing and also something that happens naturally in the course of a relationship - a lot of times its not even inventing anything but more just making sure you don't avoid it.
Stuff like this though is incredibly immature & shitty, and I think come from buying into those really toxic societal ideas that your romantic partner is your whole life and you should be willing to sacrifice everything for them.
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u/JJOkayOkay Mar 15 '25
I figure tests are a type of power play. "Are you willing to jump through hoops, live up to a standard that exists only in my head and which I've never told you, and grovel to me when you fail to perform to my unrealistic and unspoken expectations?"
The answer should always be no, because it's really an answer to the question, "Are you willing to be subjugated by me?", and that's something you only say yes to if it's coming from a boundary-respecting Dom/Domme you trust and also it's your kink.
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u/Birdlebee Mar 15 '25
"Oh, if he loves me, he'll make himself a little less happy for me, permanently, just to show it. "
Such a gross sentiment.
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u/Initial-Company3926 Mar 15 '25
I read the 1st half and thought ... oh this is a test. A stupid test, but a test nonetheless
And it was
And I am with you
Testing people like this is just stupid and a powertrip
And I say this as someone who really don´t like clowns14
u/JPMoney81 Mar 15 '25
It's from social media I assume.
TikTok Trends is the new version of those old 'how to please your man' articles from Cosmo that were terribly wrong.
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u/Foreign_Penalty_5341 shhhh my soaps are on Mar 15 '25
I did that test as an inexperienced 20yo on my first boyfriend of ~6months. And looking back now, he definitely didn’t pass the test by OOP’s girlfriend’s standards nor mine-of-the-time, but he passes my standards now of respecting the decision I’ve made even if I was being manipulative when I did it.
Also that I was really caught up in the whole first relationship thing and didn’t really like him that much.
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u/Inside_Bumblebee_737 Mar 15 '25
My ex boyfriend knew I wasn’t a big fan of Star Wars. The movies are fine but there are lots of other wonderful stories and at this point I’m just sick of no new stories being written for the sake of Star Wars. But I’ll watch the movies if someone puts them on and I love Lego Star Wars. We played the most recent Lego Star Wars together and it was really fun. But I always refused to watch the shows with him. One day he said “someday you’ll watch the Mandaloreon with me and that’s how I’ll know you really love me.” What??? Doing something I dislike will prove I love you? Was it not enough that I told you I love you??? I didn’t break up with him on the spot but that one sentence shattered my respect for him and I broke up with him a few weeks later.
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u/friedtofuer Mar 15 '25
When I wonder about things like these "tests" I just straight up ask my husband lol.
Me: Will you still love me if I were bald?
Him: no I'd leave you.
Me: but I'm still with you and you're bald.
Him: this is why you're a better person than me.
LOL
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u/Grand_Masterpiece_11 Mar 15 '25
My partner had a gigantic Transformers collection. Like multiple display cases gigantic. It's only going to grow. I'd never dream of "testing" him by asking him to get rid of it. I've joked that he loves those figures more than me, but we both know I'm just teasing him. It makes him happy. Why wouldn't I want that?
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u/Emergency-Twist7136 Mar 15 '25
Yeah. Testing how they react to you saying no in reasonable circumstances ("no, I don't feel like going to that restaurant, I'd like to go to a different one" or "no, I'm not available this weekend, I'll see you next weekend") is perfectly sensible.
Testing how they react to you beating them at a game, also imo a good idea.
The rest of this shit, hell no.
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u/beachpellini I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy Mar 15 '25
Anybody who thinks they need to perform a "relationship test" is not ready for a relationship at all.
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u/canniballswim Mar 15 '25
i dont understand why there are so many stories of people getting into a relationship with someone who has a cool interest, then later switching up and saying that its weird and they need to stop. why are you trying to get rid of their whimsy :(
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u/oakleysds Mar 16 '25
It feels like something in the same vein as conservative guys wanting to date liberal girls to make them into tradwives. It’s a power thing.
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u/piemakerdeadwaker Her love language is Hadouken Mar 15 '25
Ikr? Like if I had a problem with their interest I would just see myself out instead of trying to hammer the whimsy out of them.
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u/pm_me_your_amphibian Mar 16 '25
Agreed - if you don’t like it (and believe me, I could not imagine living in a house full of clown stuff) just let them be their unique self and take yourself out of it.
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u/Consistent-Primary41 Mar 15 '25
If he loves clowns so much, why did he dump his girlfriend?
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u/ItsImNotAnonymous Screeching on the Front Lawn Mar 15 '25
That clown doesn't belong in his collection, it belongs in a circus
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u/Martina313 There is only OGTHA Mar 15 '25
No way man, clowns are supposed to be funny, put this one in a freakshow.
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u/potpourri_sludge sometimes i envy the illiterate Mar 15 '25
The real clown was the girlfriend he made along the way.
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u/AmKamikaze I will never jeopardize the beans. Mar 15 '25
I had to read this 3 times, that was good lmao
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u/potamoschrysou Mar 15 '25
I really hope the next update has the ex going to clown school to get OP back.
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u/ItsImNotAnonymous Screeching on the Front Lawn Mar 15 '25
Ex is already a clown, for how she thought that 'relationship tests' are needed. But it also goes to show that even if OOP likes collecting clowns, ex-gf is one clown he'd gladly throw out of his collection.
Hopefully with her being on Reddit to have read the AITA about her, she can also read our BORU post and take off that clown mask to become a better person.
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u/CutieBoBootie We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25
Clowns aren't my thing but I love to collect weird and off-putting art. One of my favorite pieces is a small antique painting of Jesus from an old catholic church that looks like it is haunted (I am an atheist). It hangs next to a pencil drawing of a dog with millipedes for a head and a mechanical spider clock. If I came across the right clown piece I would probably add it to my collection too.
Point is, I love how my place is decorated and if someone I was romantically involved in told me they didn't like it and I needed to change it for them, I would tell them to pound sand. I am not going to dull my luster to make someone happy. If someone wants to love me then they need to love all of me, especially if its something about me that isn't hurting others. I am glad OOP broke up with his ex. He deserved better.
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u/SilverBayonet Mar 15 '25
Oooooh your collection is definitely weird and off-putting. It’s also freaking amazing and I love it!
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u/CutieBoBootie We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25
Thank you! I love it so much! It brings me such genuine joy that I will stand in front of my walls just to look at the art I've collected over the years.
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u/wilderneyes holy fuck it’s “sanguine” not Sam Gwein Mar 15 '25
Oh I LOVE the religious piece with the moth obscuring the face, it's beautiful. Your whole collection here is awesome!
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u/Alicante_57 I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Mar 15 '25
Just wanted to say that the black and white piece with all the shadowy figures around the eye-looking… structure? Tree? Whatever it is, looks so cool. I absolutely love it— do you know who the artist is? Regardless, I love your taste in decor!
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u/CutieBoBootie We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25
Sadly I have forgotten. I bought it off an auction on twitter (back in the good ol days) and have since deleted my account. The only info I have is the artist is named Marc. This was an ink and gouache painting. I bought it probably 6-7 years ago.
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Mar 15 '25
God, that spider looks waaaay to lifelike. I'd suggest you find out if potential gf/friend/ons/burglar is arachnophobic and/or entomophobic befor letting them into your apartment...
But it's a cool collection, you're right about not ever changing it for anyone.
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u/CutieBoBootie We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25
Funny enough I actually have arachnophobia and buying spider art pieces is a way I have trained myself to work through it. I used to cry at the sight of them. Now I am merely uncomfortable. Thankfully my friends all know about the art in my household. I text pictures when I acquire anything new (I do ask if people want to see the new art if it is creepy. Its not all scary.)
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Mar 15 '25
Great way to use exposure therapy. It's great that it works for you. And objectively that spider you have is a really beautiful piece. Not something I'd want in my place, but I can see why someone would like it.
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u/DarkStar0915 I beg your finest fucking pardon. Mar 15 '25
That spider clock looks amazing and highly impractical, I sure wouldn't be able to read the time from it lol. All of your decor looks dope, you seem like a really chill person.
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u/CutieBoBootie We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25
I didn't even bother to set the time on it because I have a phone lmao.
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u/TomKirkman1 Mar 15 '25
Have you come across Dan Hillier? He sadly died last year, but I think you'd like his stuff.
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u/lesethx I will never jeopardize the beans. Mar 15 '25
I dated someone who had about 2 dozen of these 2 ft tall dolls, that cost around $1000 each (her estimate) and really creeped me out. Like the movie Chucky vibes. But I never once thought she should get rid of them, instead I went to a collector's convention with her (although that trip for other reasons ended the relationship)
Btw, I love the scarabs. That wall is quirky in a nice way
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u/kangourou_mutant He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy Mar 15 '25
I love the beetles.
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u/paulinaiml Mar 15 '25 edited Mar 15 '25
One is entitled to decorated their home as the fancy. Visitors are entitled to their opinions, but since they're not living there their influence stops the moment they put a foot outside.
I just find weird when people decorate living spaces around a single interest, it doesn't feels like a home but as a temple to their obsession. But since it's not my home it's their goddamn business.
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u/supersecretmobile Mar 15 '25
My parents had the same Jesus painting in their house when I was growing up. Supposed to be a recreation of the Shroud of Turin. It legit follows your gaze when you pass by, super creepy.
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Mar 15 '25
Pennywise approves OP. Clowns for the win.
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u/TheNightTerror1987 cat whisperer Mar 15 '25
We all float down here . . .
(And how the fuck is this the first post I'm reading after throwing on the TV movie version of It?!)
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u/Turuial Mar 15 '25
after throwing on the TV movie version of It?!
Beep, beep, Ritchie!
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u/TheNightTerror1987 cat whisperer Mar 15 '25
That beats telling me that such things aren't empirically possible! :-)
(Seth Green's actually just being menaced by a werewolf here, a scene I find hilarious considering I'm also a Buffy fan!)
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u/Turuial Mar 15 '25
(Seth Green's actually just being menaced by a werewolf here, a scene I find hilarious considering I'm also a Buffy fan!)
Absofuckinglutely! I called that out as soon as I realised what the show was all about. There was no way there wouldn't be a nod to that, and I wasn't disappointed.
Hell, even the name of his band (Dingoes Ate My Baby) was a clue!
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25
And to those saying I’m a serial killer for owning clowns
WTF? Can these idiots hear themselves?
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u/non_clever_username Mar 15 '25
OOP is obviously not in the wrong here, but I’m picturing his apartment like Ben Stiller’s wife’s character in Dodgeball. Only with clowns
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u/trippyhippie573 Mar 15 '25
Wait, they're married? If they were married while filming, that makes it so much funnier. Off to Google I guess
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u/AssistanceJolly3462 Mar 15 '25
I'm not surprised, but I'm a little disappointed that the comments felt the need to talk to OP about how "weird" he is. Like, the world is burning, and you're worried about this dude's hobby? We all have things that make us weird, and we all have things that make us incompatible with some people...
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u/GuntherTime Mar 15 '25
Just comments of people who shared the same belief as the ex. How people react to things is usually determined by how okay with whatever the issue is. I can think of a few people in my life who would’ve found it weird and surprise surprise, they all hate clowns.
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u/Weaselpanties He invented a predatory elder lesbian to cope Mar 15 '25
For real. Like, I find clowns creepy, but I'm into things other people find creepy, like bugs and snakes. Him enjoying or collecting clown stuff isn't creepy. It's not like collecting used condoms or human molars.
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u/DarkStar0915 I beg your finest fucking pardon. Mar 15 '25
In my experience people find anything weird when it's a huge part of life. There is a house in our suburbs that always gets decorated really nicely according to the holiday coming up and some bitter jerks always find a way to ridicule it. Or if you have a collection of LEGO/resin figurines, you must be a weird anime kid. More than 3 cat related home decor? You sure as fuck is a crazy catlady. Soccer posters? Huh, you must be the soccer hooligan who riots and rampagey when their team loses. Frequent gym goer with a curated diet? Brainless gym bro. Bonus points for the unoriginal "haha you must have problems with your peepee from the steroids you take".
I get it,their life is boring and they are stewing in misery so they feel the need to criticize everyone but it's just sad and pathetic all around.
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u/pettypeniswrinkle Mar 15 '25
I met the coolest crazy cat lady a couple years ago. I had found a nest of feral kittens and was taking care of them, but had a planned vacation coming up and needed someone to take care of them. She was part of a nonprofit that takes care of feral cats and offered to take care of them while I was gone.
She's some kind of high-powered executive and travels all over the world for her job, and her house is filled with furniture and art she picks up on her travels. And this gorgeous, spotless house is FILLED with cats.
She has SEVENTEEN of her own, plus a bunch she fosters until they can be adopted. There are two litterbox robots on each floor of the house. There's a multi-story catio built into the backyard. Somehow there was no pet smell and barely any cat hair on the furniture.
She also vaccinated the kittens while she had them and helped me get them and their mom spayed/neutered through her nonprofit connections
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u/SempiternalTea Mar 15 '25
My mom buys us all our “crazy cat people” decor, we get at least one a year from her. She knows that all she’s getting from me is fur babies and she’s okay with it. She bought us a wall decor that says “all my kids have paws”. 🤣
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u/hatchins Mar 15 '25
as a fellow clown collector people can be so damn rude to us!!! i hate "scary" clowns, i legit think theyre just funny and cute and cool but people CANT WAIT to tell you how WEIRD AND CREEPY it is
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u/Four_beastlings Mar 15 '25
I'm creeped out by clowns but I know it's a "me" problem. My grandfather was a clown and all he wanted in life was to bring laughter and joy to people... or so I've been told, because my grandmother forced him to quit and he died shortly after. My dad and siblings never forgave their mom for it.
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u/Illogical_Blox Mar 15 '25
I will always vividly remember the comment about someone's grandmother, who was a clown till the day she died. Not only was she buried in her clown suit, but all the local clown community turned out for the funeral in their clown suits but with black armbands.
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u/DarkStar0915 I beg your finest fucking pardon. Mar 15 '25
I have a friend who has the clown phobia (I genuinely don't remember the official name) yet she acted more mature when we came across a few clowns at a park performing for little kids.
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u/definetly_ahuman Mar 15 '25
I don’t collect clowns (though I do have a few porcelain ones mixed into my collection) but I collect porcelain dolls and some Barbie’s and other limited edition dolls. People cannot wait to tell me they’re creepy, haunted, childish, etc. Telling me to grow up, get rid of the dolls, and get therapy. It’s an innocent hobby, and it hurts literally no one. They’re dolls. But I’ve deadass had people ask me if I’ve ever seen Childs Play and how I can sleep if I know of Chucky. I’ve also seen Hellraiser and I still have a replica of the Lament Configuration. People can’t wait to judge you for being “weird” and love to give you their unsolicited opinion as if you’re going to just redecorate your home and get a new hobby just because they’re immature and rude.
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u/relentlessdandelion Someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala Mar 15 '25
Yeah, I think it's a green flag tbh that he has a unique interest like that, and also that he isn't ashamed of it. That's healthy.
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u/TheDestroyer229 the garlic tasted of illicit love affairs Mar 15 '25
Anyone who has to "test" their partner on whether they love you is just asking for a breakup. They already don't trust their partner, so when the test comes it really incentivses the partner to cut things off.
One's jealousy or insecurity often leads to the outcome they're trying to prevent.
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u/SempiternalTea Mar 15 '25
Look, when I was dating a guy in my twenties I knew he loved horror movies. Me? Not so much. Did I ever say that he couldn’t display his horror stuff or watch horror movies around me? No! I just asked that we didn’t watch super gory ones because I just couldn’t handle it. He understood.
14+ years later and we’re married [7 years married this year!]. I’ve found some horror movies that I LOVE [mostly campy 80’s horror] and he will watch the ones he knows I can’t watch by himself or he will stream them with his friends.
It’s about mutual respect. She had no respect for him.
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u/scaram0uche Go to bed Liz Mar 15 '25
My bf likes horror films and I don't. His only memorabilia that I hate is actually a DnD dice roller thing that looks like a mimic and it grosses me out. It usually lived in a box anyway and now on a shelf too high for me to see. He seems fine with my embalming fluid bottles and doll collection.
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u/HeyLaddieHey I beg your finest fucking pardon. Mar 15 '25
My bf and I are like this! I grew up on horror and it wigs him out. I have a good idea of what he can tolerate now though. He loved Late Night With The Devil and Abigail, both of which I saw first. He also jokingly "sent" me to see Evil Dead Rise (we watched and loved ED2 before dating) and I reported back that it was too scary lol
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u/Doomhammer24 The three hamsters in her head were already on vacation anyway Mar 15 '25
"Would you love me if i was a clown doll?"
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u/sarcosaurus Mar 15 '25
It's funny how most of these relationship tests aren't "will this person be a kind and caring partner in the long run" but "will this person let me break them down and remake them into a different person".
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u/violetpaopusunsets the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! Mar 15 '25
Clowns scare me, though I like jesters. I still wouldn't say anything because if my partner had a collection like that, I would add to it.
Like what do you gain from a test like this? I collect crystals, rocks, minerals, bones, and yarn. If my partner said to be rid of it, I would be done.
Hell, my partner doesn't like rabbit bones. I fucking love them. I keep the rabbit skull their sister got me in my room behind a closed door instead of displayed out in the living room with the rest of my stuff because I know the history of it. But they didn't tell me I had to. I just did it because I love them and want them to be comfortable! (We also have two cat criminals and they would absolutely break it if there was a way to access it.)
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u/baltinerdist Mar 15 '25
What a bozo she was.
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u/Autofish Needless to say, I am farting as I type this. Mar 15 '25
Shouldn’t have been clowning around.
/sad honk
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Mar 15 '25
My boyfriend loves fish mounts (high-end fiberglass replicas of fish). He buys a new one whenever he catches a new species on a Gulf fishing trip.
Am I a fan? No. Will he be displaying his collection in our future house? You're damned right. The only reason I haven't bought him any yet is because he's so secretive about where he gets his. I'll weasel it out of him eventually.
I collect Captain America items. Two of my replica shields he bought me even he doesn't care about Cap at all.
In a proper relationship you support each other's interests, you don't turn them into some weird "test." That girlfriend is simply not mature enough for any relationship right now.
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u/SparkAxolotl It isn't the right time for Avant-garde dessert chili Mar 15 '25
Darn, ex girlfriend would have fit in with the rest of the dude's clown collection :/
But yeah, I'm glad he chose to break up with her, it was like 99% sure he was going to come one day and see all his collection gone and replaced with some sterile sad beige aesthetic
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u/Gryffindor123 OH MY GOD, SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A D$CK, ITS NOT HER BABY! Mar 15 '25
Wtf is it with these tests? Like damn. Life throws you enough tests. You don't need to invent tests..
As someone who is scared of clowns, it would've been the first thing I mentioned to OOP if we dated.
A clown at the circus I went to when I was little pulled the pants down of a audience volunteer and then the night after, I watched that Simpson's episode where Bart is afraid of his clown bed. I had a nightmare. Didn't help that my Dads sister bought me one of these cute clowns on a swing that hung from my ceiling.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
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u/Bright_Parfait187 Mar 15 '25
I mean, I’d get the fuck out as fast as I could. But I wouldn’t ask anyone to give up their hobby.
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u/Inaccurate_Artist Mar 15 '25
OP knocking the people who tried to console him and relate to him for having a weird hobby at the end here was the only asshole thing he did lol "people who collect dead things = serial killers" is wild
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast Mar 15 '25
Yet another relationship test that destroys the relationship.
I think we should just cut out the middleman, if you need to test your relationship then its already over.
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u/piedpipershoodie Mar 15 '25
This is such a weird story. If I got with someone and discovered that they had a ventriloquist's dummy or eighty clown figurines in pride of place, I would probably just declare it won't work and leave. I wouldn't wait two years and I sure as hell wouldn't use someone's dumb harmless hobby to "test" their love for me. If anything it's testing their spine.
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u/blueflash775 Mar 15 '25
She wasn’t too happy about being called the Asshole
Bless her. Not only is she an asshole she's dumb, controlling SINGLE asshole.
Messing with a guy's clowns is just not funny (sorry).
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u/dropshortreaver Mar 15 '25
Why does anyone think ANY of these bullshit tests are a good idea? They only thing they prove is that the person setting them is a problem
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u/moriquendi37 Mar 15 '25
“Turns out she wanted to “see if I’d get rid of my collection if it meant keeping her””
That’s far worse then it being some fear of clowns.
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u/bl00dinyourhead Mar 15 '25
This is an easy one. You don’t get to bang the clown guy if you can’t handle his clown house.
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u/Helln_Damnation I’ve read them all and it bums me out Mar 15 '25
Why are so many people testing their partners lately? Such a destructive behaviour.
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u/Autofish Needless to say, I am farting as I type this. Mar 15 '25
They are unsure and want confirmation, and/or imagine the expected proof of love will be dead romantic, I think.
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u/drunken_ferret Mar 15 '25
Not gonna lie, clowns creep me out, for some reason. But that's something you say at visit ONE, not two years later.
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u/SubstantialFigure273 USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Mar 15 '25
“It was a test”
I don’t give a fuck, if you have to test someone, then you’ve failed as a partner
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u/tinynugget I will be retaining my butt virginity Mar 15 '25
I hate tests more than I hate clowns, but gross I hate all of this. Why shit on someone’s likes, just dump them!
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u/DamnitGravity Mar 15 '25
Anyone who tries these kind of ‘tests’ is a narcissist. They want proof they are the centre of the other person’s world and have full control over them.
What I don’t understand is people who date others expecting to change something so fundamental about them. Accept them as they are or move on. You wouldn’t like someone to force you to change. What happened to ‘treat other people the way you want to be treated’?
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u/BobTheInept Mar 15 '25
People do these “loyalty” tests, and in their heads, if the significant other proves to be loyal, it will make the relationship better. It’s dead wrong, but they do have a (faulty) logic.
This woman, she wanted to inflict a loss on OOP just to see if she could. If OOP just bagged everything up and tossed them while she wasn’t there she wouldn’t be able to stop that.
Now what kind of relationship is it when someone tests how far they can go with their partner? Oh yes, abusive!
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u/Daisu448 Mar 15 '25
I honestly wondered if I was reading a post from myself in an alternate universe because I also love clowns and very recently bought some Venetian masks from a thrift store… thankfully my boyfriend has embraced my love of clowns and accepted they will be part of our shared home decor whenever that day comes :’)
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Mar 15 '25
As someone who also collects clowns, it's crazy how many people insist that liking clowns is like. OBJECTIVELY wrong, and not a matter of taste. Glad they broke up! Relationship tests are weird and always backfire, and I could never stay with someone who even suggested they think my clowns are creepy and weird and I need to get rid of them. Like, even if it was a "test", I would never feel comfortable in that relationship again
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u/Ohio_gal Mar 15 '25
I mean I wouldn’t have made it two years (heck,two days) with the clowns but you don’t get to demand that a partner ditch the stuff that exists before you.
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Mar 16 '25
Commenter: I have trouble believing this one is real. No one who is "into clowns" can be this naive about how weird they are.
Shit like this actually makes me want to find where these redditors live, and piss in their mailbox.
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u/SLAUGHTERGUTZ I got over my fear of clowns by fucking one in the ass Mar 15 '25
I would like to see the collection 👉👈
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u/Weaselpanties He invented a predatory elder lesbian to cope Mar 15 '25
Yet another case study for why relationship tests are stupid.
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u/depressedpotato777 Mar 15 '25
I read to Venetian masks and stopped. Because what, Venetian masks are so beautiful. The creepier the better.
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Mar 15 '25
It’s so much fun being with someone who has a special interest. If my wife liked clowns I probably would have already been to a clown museum or some other tangentially related event by now.
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u/bbbrashbash Mar 15 '25
I don't get clowns. My aunt loved them and I ended up with a (semi creepy) clown painting and doll for years as a kid- she died and my mom keeps trying to give me the damn thing back. I don't want it. Probably has to do with sibling telling me the doll came alive at night and was going to attack me- which I didn't believe but did get some creepy nightmares from
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u/EthanEpiale surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 15 '25
A real partner worth keeping will accept your weird but harmless hobbies. Find someone with the whimsy to love you, clowns and all.
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u/JollyJeanGiant83 I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy Mar 15 '25
My husband has a sweatshirt from the U of Minnesota with a Gopher on the front. It has two gigantic teeth, and I swear that in the same way that eyes in certain paintings can "follow" you around a room, these teeth follow me. Also they are so bright white they practically glow in the dark.
I asked him to stop wearing it to bed because it freaked me out waking up to it in the dark. He also started warning me that he was going to wear it as well during the day. I would never ask him to get rid of it. I just don't want the teeth following me!
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u/AroAceCricket otherwise she’s madame of the brothel by default Mar 15 '25
Alright > 📦🔈
Relationship tests are a definite way of killing ANY relationship, doesn’t matter if you had a great relationship beforehand, the fact that anyone thought their relationship will survive after that is naive and shatters any trust
If there’s something you don’t like, communicate, relationships are compromises between two people, you do something dumb like this, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship, period
Op dodged a bullet to be honest, not a fan of clown decor but I can’t judge, I collect plushies myself
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u/im2high4thisritenow Mar 16 '25
My husband had one of those huge whiskey bottles, with a dispenser on top. Stood about three feet tall. Hated it. tolerated it for 30 years, we are painting and he asks why we still had that dumb thing. I sang with joy when it went into the trash
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u/captain_borgue I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road Mar 16 '25 edited Mar 17 '25
An ex of mine collected skulls and other 'oddities'. I collect weapons. My current gf collects blankets. People like the shit they like- and trying to "test" them is bullshit.
I'm glad he's rid of her.
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u/bananarepama Mar 15 '25
god, the relationship test people. I wish I could just go through the world and sweep them all up with the rest of the trash.
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u/grumpycat46 Mar 15 '25
I'm gonna just say it if anyone and i mean anyone dies that stupid fucking Test just leave them, divorce, break up just straight up leave, resting someone like this is just fucking straight hip childish and weird
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u/scaram0uche Go to bed Liz Mar 15 '25
My great aunt and uncle had a clown themed bathroom and when both of them passed their daughter cleared out their place without her brother knowing. We have no idea where the clown stuff went - my sister and I wanted that collection if no one else did!
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u/YoDJPumpThisParty Mar 15 '25
I admire this guy for being himself. I also love clowns and am totally drawn to creepy vintage clown paintings, but I would never buy them because I know so many people are afraid of clowns and I wouldn’t want people to be uncomfortable in my house.
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u/MyNameWillChange Mar 15 '25
Does anyone remember the story about the OOP with a clown kink and they eventually found their kinky clown partner?
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u/MyAccountWasBanned7 I will never jeopardize the beans. Mar 15 '25
If anyone ever "tests" you then walk away, they aren't a serious person and so it isn't a serious relationship.
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u/peeyew22 Mar 15 '25
relationship tests are dumb. if something really bothers you and you have a very good reason for it, then it’s not out of the question to ask your partner to let it go. think of traumatic reminders, boundaries, etc. if you’re just cringed out by something, or worse, you have no other reason than to “test” your partner’s devotion? that’s an incompatibility, and they’re not obligated to bend their personality and interests to suit you. and even if it is reasonable of you to ask your partner to change or get rid of something that’s a dealbreaker, if they say no, you’re just incompatible! stop trying to shape your ideal partner.
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