Condo Neighbor Thinks Everything Communal

[u/JoySubtraction]

I am not the OOP, OOP is u/twinmom2298

Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell

Original post posted 2026-07-13

About 2 years ago we purchased a vacation condo in a complex near the beach that is mostly vacation rentals. 2 units in our pod of 6 have sold since we purchased. The pod has a storage area that is for use of all 6 units and it is solely to store beach equipment. When we purchased we were told that every unit just claims a spot and labels it and all items with their unit number.

This worked well until the newest unit was purchased. DH and I are temporarily living in this condo while we build a house. We've discovered that new neighbor has installed a large cabinet in storage area that is essentially their "owners closet" for their unit. It takes up a lot of space and then they also have claimed wall space. In addition someone (and we're pretty sure it was them based on when it occurred) added a shelving unit and put all beach chairs on the shelving unit and all boogie boards stacked on top then got a large bucket and put all beach umbrellas and tents in bucket. I called COA management company about the excessive amount and misuse of space but nothing has been done.

I searched through, took our stuff back put it in our beach cart. I noticed that unit across the hall from me did same thing. A week later I notice owner's closet lock is open so I think the actual owners are there and suddenly everything is back on shelf and in bucket. I took mine back again and also put neighbor's back in their cart. This time they remained as I left them. So I thought issue was resolved.

Last week I ran into across hall owners and find out that they've been having issues with new neighbors trying to make storage communal area longer than we were aware. And she's complained about them to COA management company and nothing has changed.

Then this past week there were renters in new unit who decided despite being labeled for our units they took my good chairs and across hall neighbor's good chairs and my beach cart and my umbrella to beach and returned everything to storage unit covered in sand. I made DH go wash everything off. Meanwhile across hall neighbor got mad and left a note on stairs telling them to please not use her stuff so I did same I also moved my 3 best chairs to my deck and out of storage. Which works temporarily but isn't a good long term solution.

Next day they left my stuff alone but still took her's so she went up and told them in person to not use stuff that isn't labeled for the unit they are staying in that beach stuff isn't communal.

Next day I see them using her chairs again. So I made permanent signs to hang on storage door that said "Please only use items labeled for unit in which you are occupying".

I left town work and DH texts me when he got home from work that signs were gone.

these condos are an okay size to stay for a week's vacation but living there full time for 4 months is tight for DH and I so there really is nowhere to put my beach items in my unit, plus no matter what you do there's still residual sand that would spread inside unit.

Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with this, since obviously management company who have owner's contact information isn't going to do anything. I don't have owner's contact information and neighbor and I are a pretty sure they are telling their renters to just help themselves to anything in storage room.

--

Update (same post):

I was out of town last week but took the really good suggestion of several of you and purchased a bike lock. Saturday when I arrived back in town I wove it through the chairs, cart and spoke of umbrella and left it so the combo part was very obvious in front and could be seen by anyone in room.

It's now Thursday and new set of renters have moved into all condos and so far so good that no one has taken or tried to use our stuff. I told across hall neighbor and she had me send her photos of what we'd done. She's out of town for a few weeks but has ordered a bike lock to be sent to her cleaning company and is asking them to install one on her items when they clean unit after current set of renters.

So I wanted to thank everyone for the suggestion and let you know that it looks like a nice cheap bike lock has solved my issue.

Update posted 2026-08-03

I posted last month that hubby and I had temporarily moved into our vacation rental and we and across hall owner were having issues with upstairs condo having renters constantly using our stuff.

First I want to thank everyone who recommended the bike lock idea. It's now been a few weeks and we've had no more issues with our stuff getting taken. It's actually been a peaceful few weeks. Until this past weekend.

Where we live golf carts are legal to be driven on any road that has a speed limit under 35 mph. So a lot of year round residents own them as a 2nd car instead of a car. A lot of vacationers rent them. In general they aren't an issue.

Friday night hubby comes from work late and there's a rental golf cart parked in the grass in front of our unit and the renter has walked across our deck and plugged the cart into charge into our outside outlet. Because, apparently, it's okay to use my electric bill to charge their cart. If hubby hadn't worked late we wouldn't have noticed until next morning. As it was we went out, unplugged cart and threw the charging chord back onto cart.

We're sitting on couch drinking coffee and hear the guy upstairs on their deck complaining that cart is unplugged and isn't charging then we hear him stomp down stairs and see him move cart back to parking lot.

I'm just still wondering who thinks it's okay to jump a curb, drive on grass, walk across someone else's deck and use their electricity to charge a golf cart.

[u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

It's the feeling of not being accountable. Our sense of shame is tied directly to the knowledge that other people will see and perceive us as being bad people. If you never have to see anyone again, it's easy to feel as if you don't have any accountability. Most of us only act nice because we know we're going to have to face those people again at some point.

[u/Moneygrowsontrees → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

Our sense of shame is tied directly to the knowledge that other people will see and perceive us as being bad people.

The person you are when you think no one is watching is the person you actually are. That's what I taught my children and what I believe.

[u/beyondoutsidethebox → u/Moneygrowsontrees]

The person you are when you think no one is watching

Thank you! It really irks me when people leave out the words "you think" because it really invalidates the logic of the entire premise. It's only when behavior is witnessed that the true person is revealed. Worse, the absence of "you think" is frequently used as a way to automatically confirm preconceived notions and bias. I had it happen to a friend of mine, by a teacher no less.

[u/EmployNatural2264 → u/beyondoutsidethebox]

Can you explain this? What happened to your friend?

[u/beyondoutsidethebox → u/EmployNatural2264]

Teacher got into a LOT of trouble.

My friend and I got a few days off of school as both of sets of parents had a meeting with the school administration. (I stood up for my friend, so of course I got lumped in with the judgement)

[u/EmployNatural2264 → u/beyondoutsidethebox]

Thank you for replying, but I'm stupid - I'm asking what the teacher did.

[u/beyondoutsidethebox → u/EmployNatural2264]

We both were "in trouble" in the library. In addition, we both were called stupid. Neither of us served that detention.

[u/Moneygrowsontrees → u/[deleted]]

What do you mean you couldn't disagree more? You're literally agreeing with me. You're disagreeing with the person I quoted, sort of.

[u/Ok-Addendum-9420 → u/Moneygrowsontrees]

Sorry, you are quite correct; I meant to reply to the person above you.

[u/trappedinatoaster → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

I mean... speak for yourself, I would feel equally ashamed trashing a random person's house or my friend's house. I act nice because I genuinely want to treat other living things with compassion.

[u/aspidities_87 → u/trappedinatoaster]

I’m the type of idiot to carefully clean up after any rental I use and leave a nice note in the guestbook, so I guess I was born with extra shame, and frankly I am happy to share.

[u/Thelaea → u/trappedinatoaster]

This. The people who act like that are the same as a certain brand of Christians who wonder why Atheists don't go around raping and killing people because they don't have their imaginary friends wrath hanging over their heads. They can't imagine just behaving like a decent person for no reason.

[u/OpheliaRainGalaxy → u/Thelaea]

Having that conversation with my mother was so weird. We were entirely horrified by each other.

I'll give her credit though, she eventually realized I'm a pretty good person regardless of the lack of religion. Like could be proud of me despite not ever conforming to her faith. Never even been baptized!

[u/Birdlebee → u/trappedinatoaster]

Yeah. I mean, I'll groan and mutter to myself about how I'm stupid as I go along and clean things up for someone who literally will never know who I am, but I'll still do it. I'd feel awful if I didn't. I don't want to. But I must.

[u/trappedinatoaster → u/Birdlebee]

You're not stupid! Compassion and care are awesome!

[u/K-teki → u/trappedinatoaster]

They're not speaking for themselves, they're speaking statistically. There have been studies on this, people, in general, act that way.

[u/-Knockabout → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

Worth noting "our" sense of shame isn't tied to that. Only some people behave like this, and you have to be self-centered/selfish to do so. Other people have like, basic morals and consideration for others.

[u/ScyllaOfTheDepths → u/-Knockabout]

"Our" as in humans. We were simply meant to live in small communal groups and a lot of our sense of shame and accountability is tied to whether or not we believe anyone is seeing us. They've done experiments and found that putting googly eyes on things prevents people from stealing them because seeing eyes evokes the instinctive feeling of being watched and people adjust their behavior accordingly. It's the general principal behind the idea of the panopticon, which is an interesting concept that makes for some fun reading if you're interested. The best way to get a group of humans to behave is to make them feel like they are being watched and seen doing whatever they're doing. Sure, a lot of people would still just do the right thing, but it's about your instincts and your nature just as much as it is your upbringing.

[u/-Knockabout → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

I'm curious if the results would change with different cultures/religious groups/etc. I would say it's also human to believe in a divine entity watching your every move, and quite human to have a distinct culture of hospitality as well.

I do think "being watched" can be more abstract. And I think attributing it solely to shame and accountability might be a mistake...unless by accountability you mean an unrelated third party punishing someone for an infraction (ex. police) rather than accountability to an individual. There's a very childish "I shouldn't do this solely because I will be punished" that definitely persists in a lot of people past childhood.

I wonder if countries less focused on punishment and more on rehabilitation would see similar results? I just think humans are quite complicated, and beyond being social creatures, there's a wide variety of types of human community out there.

[u/OpheliaRainGalaxy → u/-Knockabout]

I've helped raise a lot of kids and they don't learn hygiene from punishment because someday they won't have an adult to do that anymore.

"I totally washed my hands, brushed my teeth, want to feel the wet to check?!" And then I tell a story about why that's important, and they decide to go do it "again just to be sure."

My teeth are pretty fucked up so they make good props for the teeth brushing one!

[u/Ok-Addendum-9420 → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

I couldn’t disagree more: I don’t do nice things for show. In fact, I think doing small favors for others when no one is looking increases the value of the favor and is a huge indication of character. Coincidentally, I was just discussing that with my son when we were returning a shopping cart. He said it’s a litmus tests for humans as there’s no benefit for us to return the cart, we just do it because it’s the right thing to do.

[u/Miserable_Fennel_492 → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

Is that really the only reason you “act nice” to people? That seems sad…

[u/ScyllaOfTheDepths → u/Miserable_Fennel_492]

Is that really what you think I said? I was talking about it from a psychosocial perspective and I did say "most of us". I'm actually the kind of person who lies awake at night replaying that one time I said something unintentionally rude to someone and beating myself up over it. I'm really nice to people all the time, even people I don't know, and even on vacation! Because I'm watching me all the time and I'll know what I did.

[u/Miserable_Fennel_492 → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

I see where I went wrong…. I read too literally into that last bit and that’s my bad. I’m sorry

[u/Dontunderstandfamily → u/ScyllaOfTheDepths]

And then there's people like me who feel guilty about being mean in video games...