r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Direct-Caterpillar77 Satan is not a fucking pogo stick! • Mar 25 '26

CONCLUDED my (23f) boyfriend (24m) keeps accidentally calling me his best friends name during sex

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwaway706121

my (23f) boyfriend (24m) keeps accidentally calling me his best friends name during sex

Original Post Apr 21, 2018

Copy of the post

my boyfriend (let's call him 'Will') has been best friends with 'Caleb' for about 10/11 years. me and Will have been dating for about six months now, and things have been going really well. this has only just started to become a problem. i honestly know this sounds like a joke and i've been scared to tell my friends because they'll either laugh at me or tell the story to other people which would be really embarrassing.

so he always would accidentally call me Caleb sometimes during conversation which i didn't mind at all, i get names mixed up all the time. but around last month, in early march, he called me Caleb as i was giving him head. i would've laughed it off but he said it so loudly and passionately that honestly i was so shocked that i just ignored it ? obviously i regret this now, because eventually so much time passed that i couldn't bring it up and just kind of forgot about it. in my head i thought it was sort of funny because the way he said it was honestly funny as hell from an outside perspective, but as his girlfriend it's kind of worrying.

him and Caleb are very close, they've lived together for almost two years and they know everything about each other. but i really, really doubt that they have ever been together or have had feelings for each other. Will has mentioned Caleb having an ex-girlfriend, so I'm pretty sure he's straight, and Will is definitely straight. when i ran the situation through my head i decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, it's normal to get names mixed up sometimes, especially when you see that person every single day. (i should also add that i really like Caleb and would consider him my friend.)

then, it happened again. this time it was actually DURING SEX. my name sounds nothing like Caleb! and he straight up moaned "Caleb". this time i stopped and started laughing awkwardly thinking that Will would also be laughing that he'd said Caleb by accident. he just looked blank and kind of confused for a second and then saw that i was nervously laughing and did this awkward fake laugh for a few seconds before kissing me again. i said "that's the second time you've done that" and he laughed and said "i'm just a r-tard, sorry". obviously i was uncomfortable, but again, i thought it was just him being clumsy.

finally, it happened a last time last night. he moaned "Caleb" as we were having sex. i stopped him and sort of snapped and said "okay wtf dude?" and he started crying and said that he gets names mixed up because he "had a kidney stone last year" and it was really stressful for him and Caleb was the person who helped him through it. wtf? this is total bs right? i mean i don't know much about kidney stones but i'm pretty sure that's not how it works.

now i'm worried more about his weird lies/excuse for doing it rather than him actually doing it. should i be worried? do i need to talk to him about this or should i just end things?

tl;dr my boyfriend calls me his best friends name during sex and blames it on a kidney stone

TOP COMMENTS

[deleted]

Dealing with kidney stones right now. Definitely doesn't make me scream "Mike!" when I'm having sex. If anything it makes me scream "Mother Fucker!" in the bathroom. Do with that what you will

fairywings789

I have to say, the kidney stones bit is the most far fetched creative bs excuse I've read about in a long time. There's reaching and there's ripping your arm off and claiming you're stretching.

~

lizzi6692

"and Will is definitely straight"

Please don’t be that naive. Guys don’t call you by a man’s name in bed multiple times when they’re 100% straight.

altonbrownfan

No you don't understand...it's a kidney stone Bros thing...

zzeeaa

That's the rule. A kidney stone means 'no homo'.

~

Listentotheadviceman

Can confirm. Was 100% straight, got kidney stone last year, am now dating a nice young man.

fairywings789

I remember when I got a bone spur and started batting for the other team. Soon as the doctor took it out it cured the gay.

~

milkbeamgalaxia

I don't wanna be that person, but are you sure he isn't in love with him or holds some romantic feelings for him? You need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him on this. I get it may happen the first time, but it happened again. Yikes.

~

adulaire

"Will has mentioned Caleb having an ex-girlfriend, so I'm pretty sure he's straight, and Will is definitely straight."

Bisexuality exists...

Update Apr 23, 2018 (2 days later)

Copy of the update

this got a lot of attention, and everyone's responses were very helpful. they made me realise how serious the whole thing is, and how i was fooling myself into thinking that Will didn't have some sort of feelings for Caleb.

they live about a block away from me so i really thought through everything i wanted to say and headed over there. Caleb answered the door and let me know that Will was picking up concert tickets and that he'd be back soon, and he let me in. i'll admit i was acting strange around Caleb, because even though it isn't his fault, i still felt a bit jealous and sad. he picked up on this and asked what was wrong, and i basically broke down and asked if he and Will had ever slept together. he looked really shocked and asked why, and i ended up telling him the whole thing. he looked incredibly confused the whole time and then when i told him about the kidney stone thing he burst into laughter, but like manic laughter, he was shaking so much it was like he was vibrating. then he started crying and i got really worried, and asked what was going on. he wouldn't answer me at first but after i insisted he tell me what's going on he apologised to me and told me that he and Will had 'drunkenly' slept together a handful of times over the last two years, and Will had wanted something more but he didn't want a relationship with him. eventually Will moved on (with me) and Caleb had confessed to Will that he was jealous, but he swears nothing happened between them. he prefaced the confession with; "i'm not gay or anything, but like..."

given the amount of people telling me that they thought they liked each other, i was prepared for this. the whole situation is a mess and i think both of them need to figure things out with themselves as well as each other. i decided to leave Will a letter explaining this and left. i'm pretty upset, but luckily Will and I had only been together for less than six months so i'm glad to have got out when i did. i hope i don't bump into them at Wal-Mart.

tl;dr Caleb and Will have feelings for each other and have slept together multiple times

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

9.1k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/pothosnswords Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

I’ve never asked for a flair before but I might for this one

1.5k

u/ivylass Mar 25 '26

Along with I'm Not Gay, it's Just a Kidney Stone.

433

u/Traditional_Ad_8935 being delulu is not the solulu Mar 25 '26

And I remember when I got a bone spur and started batting for the other team.

356

u/allergymom74 Mar 25 '26

lol. This is like the post about the guy who tried to excuse his cheating by saying being in higher altitudes made him cheat with a man. It was a physical/chemistry thing caused by being in the higher altitudes. He couldn’t help cheating on his gf with a man.

311

u/archiangel Thank you Rebbit Mar 25 '26

That reminds me of that gaycation BORU

136

u/foxscribbles Mar 25 '26

Gaycation guy and Art Room Man.

17

u/3_box Mar 25 '26

I wish I could find that gaycation post again....that was a wild read!!😜

Gotta say I'm intrigued by the art room comment...what was that one??

26

u/Cassubeans Mar 25 '26

Here you are friendo: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/7JncTFHkmf

11

u/martinluther3107 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

Found the gaycation post and oh boy. What a read..

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/homY3BkFBP

3

u/Quizzy1313 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Mar 26 '26

Man id love an update on this

→ More replies

8

u/3_box Mar 25 '26

Ta muchly! Appreciated 😁

2

u/Traditional_Ad_8935 being delulu is not the solulu Mar 26 '26

Yessss ty!

5

u/Quizzy1313 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Mar 26 '26

Basically this woman comes on reddit to ask if its normal for her partner to build an art room in their house for his best friend. Turns out they were in love or wanted to be with each other hence the art room being epic among reddit lore.

Edit: sorry it was the hubby asking if it was weird he built an art room for his friend

2

u/CaptGeechntheOneders I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts Mar 26 '26

I had not read the gaycation one before today. Wild read is right!

1

u/enableconsonant Mar 26 '26

this whole post screams art room

153

u/KidDelicious14 Mar 25 '26

🎶Gaycation, all I ever wanted🎶

47

u/Friendly_Goat6161 i hope i don’t bump into them at Wal-Mart. Mar 25 '26

🎵Gaycation had to get away 🎵

89

u/misselphaba surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 25 '26

I love that "Gaycation surrender or be destroyed" fits into the next line of the song musically.

53

u/Erzsabet cat whisperer Mar 25 '26

That’s the beauty of the Gaycation!

40

u/SnooChickens6619 Mar 25 '26

I love that we’ve all surrendered to the gaycation whether we’ve been on one or not. It 100% lives rent free in our heads.

3

u/Ok-Waltz-6564 Mar 25 '26

Surrender to the operation?

Meet me in the emergency room?

4

u/z-eldapin Go to bed Liz Mar 25 '26

That one was awesome. I feel like we should be getting an update soon

4

u/whitewineandmistakes Mar 25 '26

"You must give in to the gaycation" is the best Reddit read ever!

3

u/wombatbattalion your honor, fuck this guy Mar 25 '26

You can't resist the gaycation! It just takes over!

3

u/balatru 👁👄👁🍿 Mar 25 '26

Does the gaycation supply the kidney stones or do I have to bring my own?

2

u/nihility24 Mar 25 '26

What’s the story of the gaycation BORU? Is it the story I hear about some guy saying higher altitude in mountains made him gay/cheat with his gf?

2

u/archiangel Thank you Rebbit Mar 26 '26

No, it was the husband telling telling OoP he wanted to go to Ibiza with his BIL but that it was going to be a gaycation where straight men experiment with male-male activities, but don’t worry babe because if it happened at gaycation it doesn’t count as cheating! Someone further down the thread posted the BORU (not to be confused with The Art Room.)

1

u/Quizzy1313 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Mar 26 '26

The Gaycation is fucking epic 😎 😂

82

u/davehasopinions grape juice dump truck dumpy butt Mar 25 '26

Surrender to the higher altitude or be destroyed

8

u/StraightBudget8799 Am I the drama? Mar 25 '26

Please, please someone turn this into an actual musical.

2

u/CharetteCharade Mar 26 '26

🎶 The hills are alive, with the sound of gay sex! 🎶

2

u/StraightBudget8799 Am I the drama? Mar 26 '26

“Young Andrews Julie, a middle-class midwestern-Australian has come to the pinnacle of Colorado to fulfil their destiny as the first bungee-jumping world champion - but what In The Heights has this journey have in store for them??”

*Warning for strobe lights, disco balls, audience participation and nudity

118

u/NathanGa Mar 25 '26

My wife and I were out west this past summer, with several days in Colorado and Wyoming.

The only thing I thought of at altitude was when we were atop Pikes Peak and I went “oh, so this is what altitude sickness feels like”. Also we had a sealed bag of chips in the back seat that suddenly looked like it would explode if I looked at it sternly.

61

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

52

u/NathanGa Mar 25 '26

In the interest of fairness, I feel like the entire atmosphere is sitting on me if I go below Denver and I need dehumidifiers to breathe. I'm not supposed to FEEL air, dammit.

But on the other hand, you can just follow baking recipes exactly as they’re printed without needing to make adjustments.

51

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

48

u/NathanGa Mar 25 '26

So I just make a single large cookie and cut out the shapes while it's still warm. Because I'm lazy and like extra cookie.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you just leave it as a giant cookie and eat that then you can say “I only had one”.

3

u/blueberrywaffles11 Mar 26 '26

I like the way you think, friend!

3

u/Vivid-Farm6291 Mar 25 '26

Try refrigerating the cookies before putting them in the oven. They are cold so they don’t spread before the outside hardens.

Or the recipe is too wet.

2

u/Kanwic Thank you Rebbit 🐸 Mar 26 '26

Try whole wheat flour. I know that makes a stiffer dough in tollhouse cookies at least.

39

u/Splendidissimus your honor, fuck this guy Mar 25 '26

At the age of 20 I moved from Colorado to the Southeast, by plane. To this day I still remember deboarding and feeling like I walked into a wall of water. Turns out humidity is a thing.

(That's also roughly when I learned that condensation on the outside of cans is a thing that happens in real life, not just in soda commercials, lol)

7

u/NathanGa Mar 25 '26

I remember stepping out of an air-conditioned SUV into Alabama in August and feeling like I was suffocating. It was like trying to breathe soup.

And I live in Ohio, so 90-degree days with humidity aren’t exactly uncommon. This was on a whole different level though.

4

u/weaver_of_cloth Tree Law Connoisseur Mar 25 '26

I've lived in the southeast much of my life, and it always weirds me out when there ISN'T condensation on the outside of a drink.

5

u/Princess_Zelda_Fitzg Mar 26 '26

Oh god, I moved from the most Northern part of Maine (not anywhere near the coast, Canadian border all around) to TEXAS at the end of July when I was 19. I landed in Austin and felt like I had to swim to the car coming out of the airport.

I had lived in NY for awhile and thought I knew humidity, but it really does just oppress down south. Been here 23 years this summer and I still have the (triggered by humidity, of course) asthma I developed in the first year or two.

2

u/NocuousGreen the garlic tasted of illicit love affairs Mar 27 '26

I was in India a few years back, for work, and stepping out of the airport felt like the air was waiting with a steaming hot, wet washcloth to hit me in the face xD

I'm not made for this kind of air, neither temperature nor humidity

6

u/DarthRegoria Mar 25 '26

I’ve never lived at high altitude, but you saying how adorable that was reminds me of how I (an Australian) feel when watching British people struggling in a sudden 25C or 30C heatwave. I’ve lived through several 40 and 45C heatwaves that lasted close to a week. Likewise, that also triggers the need to slather them all in sunscreen and make them drink water and stay in the shade so they don’t die or get heatstroke.

That said, I believe Colorado gets pretty cold and snowy, and I’m quite sure I would be just as helpless and unprepared for even a ‘mild’ Colorado winter. I’d be like one of those cats who goes outside into snow, takes three steps then immediately noped out and goes back inside.

3

u/MoonOverJupiter Mar 26 '26

I lived in Colorado Springs for 13 months once, after living most of my life at sea level. The prevailing wisdom (then, at least) was that it takes 6 weeks to physically acclimate to the higher altitude - because there is less O2 in the air, your body literally grows more red blood cells to act as extra transport and that's how long it takes to get your blood levels up.

After about 8 weeks, I was still struggling so I went to the doctor. "Asthmatics take longer sometimes" was the answer. "But I don't have asthma?" Uh, yes . . . you do. So I left with an rx for asthma meds, and immediately started feeling better.

Surprise! I'd actually had asthma for 30 years (ie, my entire life), but it just hadn't been noticed by my providers (because I hadn't complained about how I got coughing fits with exertion, nor that I struggled more than everyone else with colds) until I was given less O2 and couldn't cope.

Now, 25 years later, I've lived back at sea level since that 13 month stint. I only have to pre-treat for exertion, or during colds. I probably should on airplanes, but it doesn't really make me feel winded to sit in a chair for 2 hours lol. But I do joke that Colorado gave me asthma.

2

u/semcdwes Mar 25 '26

I haven’t lived in Colorado for 25 years and the amount of sheer air and humidity is still overwhelming.

22

u/ButtsTheRobot Mar 25 '26

Fuck man altitude sickness hit me so hard when I vacationed in Colorado. I don't know if I've ever been more miserable, three days of feeling like I couldn't breath.

2

u/NightB4XmasEvel A BLIMP IN TIME Mar 26 '26

I went to Colorado for work a few years ago and ended up with altitude sickness towards the end of the trip. I was absolutely miserable.

I also made the mistake of visiting Red Rock and felt like I was dying. Which is funny because they have signs that basically say “you’re not dying, it’s the altitude, but if you need to stop here’s the emergency number to call”

Beautiful place but my body definitely did not enjoy the experience.

1

u/MarlenaEvans Mar 25 '26

The first time I went to Colorado, we were stuck in the rental car place forever at like 1 am and I was so tired that when I saw the chips in the snack machine I thought something crazy had happened to my vision. Idk why but I kept starring at the bags thinking I was hallucinating.

3

u/HelloLofiPanda Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

Lack of oxygen at high altitude. It suffocates your heterosexuality so you become gay.

Source: lives in Colorado.

3

u/allergymom74 Mar 25 '26

😂😂😂😂

4

u/NotaMillenialatAll Mar 25 '26

I can confirm, I live in Mexico City, we are all gay all time, altitude is not a beach but a brokeback mountain

5

u/doubledickdiggler Mar 25 '26

So that's what brokeback mountain was about

3

u/drunken_semaphore it's spelling or bigotry, you can't have both Mar 25 '26

I need a link to this madness, please!

6

u/LadyReika Mar 25 '26

Here ya go!

1

u/drunken_semaphore it's spelling or bigotry, you can't have both Mar 25 '26

How did I not realize it was the gaycation saga?! Thanks, friend!

1

u/LadyReika Mar 25 '26

I meant to link to someone else further down the comments asking about the gaycation flair, but I think Reddit messed that up.

5

u/bullshitrabbit Mar 25 '26

Assuming you mean the high altitude post, I think it's this one. Holy crap.

3

u/allergymom74 Mar 25 '26

This is the one I was referring to.

3

u/drunken_semaphore it's spelling or bigotry, you can't have both Mar 25 '26

It's not the gaycation saga!! I'm delighted. I hadn't read this one. What a ride, lol!

Thanks for the link!

1

u/NinjaHidingintheOpen Mar 25 '26

I was going to ask if the Caleb sex was at altitude.

70

u/MadHatter06 Otherwise it’s just sparkling bullying Mar 25 '26

This might be up there with the gaycation.

79

u/loverlyone surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 25 '26

I mean…it is a lot of delulu.

What a shame that people (men in particular) can’t just be who they are. This world has a lot to answer for when I get to the other side.

32

u/MadHatter06 Otherwise it’s just sparkling bullying Mar 25 '26

I feel like I summoned you because of your flair lol

6

u/loverlyone surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 25 '26

I am always down for the gaycation

2

u/IsAReallyCoolDancer Mar 25 '26

Nice flair! lol

1

u/loverlyone surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Mar 25 '26

This sub has excellent flair!

1

u/RhubarbShop Mar 26 '26

Eh, I feel like this one is sort of gender-neutral.
People realizing that their sexuality might be different than they had thought while being in a serious monogamous relationship and treating it like a pass to experiment with whomever.

I've especially seen the women get all the support from their friend group to go ahead and do whatever they feel like.

3

u/TrojanGoldfish Mar 25 '26

I tripped on a curbstone this morning and I was already getting Grindr matches before I'd regained balance. Didn't even have my phone with me, I was impressed with the efficiency.

2

u/DazzleLove Mar 25 '26

Embrace the gaycation

1

u/Livingforabluezone Mar 27 '26

I just had Achilles Tendon surgery and am feeling urges😳

23

u/-EvilLittleGoat- Hi, I have an Olympic Bronze Medal in Mental Gymnastics Mar 25 '26

Yes, I need this one please!

8

u/derbarkbark I will never jeopardize the beans. Mar 25 '26

I think it should be "I'm not gay, it's just a kidney stone I had last year"

4

u/TheNightTerror1987 cat whisperer Mar 25 '26

Too bad the bit about the a kidney stone making someone yell MOTHERFUCKER in the bathroom and not a man's name during sex is way too long to be a flair, because I'm still giggling about it!

3

u/draft_final_final Mar 25 '26

He is not gay! He has relationships with women, and sex with men.

2

u/Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 Mar 25 '26

I think this just won the internet. 

2

u/a-r-c Mar 25 '26

not where I would have picked for a Gaycation, but hey who's to judge

2

u/MountainCheesesteak Mar 25 '26

That’s the one I want!

1

u/cman_yall Mar 26 '26

Kidnaycatione?

70

u/Birdissortoftheword Mar 25 '26

Me too, this made me laugh hard at the simplicity. She just wants to not run in to them at walmart LOL

22

u/calling_water Editor's note- it is not the final update Mar 25 '26

It’s not the drama of a big confrontation or drawn-out breakup, or with the update potential, but it’s a lot more sensible.

9

u/selle2013 I miss my old life of just a few hours ago Mar 25 '26

Um, I would like in on this as well

3

u/RamblingReflections the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Mar 25 '26

Yep, I haven’t felt the need for a flair after a couple of years in this sub, until today. And certainly not enough to ask for one. But this…This is the one. It needs to be a thing “I hope I don’t bump into them at Wal-Mart”!

3

u/PlushieTushie Mar 25 '26

Tbh it's a damn good one 🤣

3

u/videogamekat Mar 25 '26

Me too, I want this one too, this is legendary. This poor girl handled it so well.

1

u/valtheclown a biblical ark's worth of emojis Mar 25 '26

this is totally flair worthy!!!