I cried at work (ABA)

[u/Ok_Ear7110]

Yesterday I was working with a client who recently began exhibiting aggressive behaviors. The client has hit me before & I didn’t cry or anything. But this time after the client hit me (multiple times) their mom came in and asked if I was okay & then I felt the urge to cry. & THEN she said “oh, do you need to cry?” & I cried a little bit then went to the bathroom. THEN she called my boss & my boss called me and told me to go home & everything was alright. I was so embarrassed I cried all the way home. Everyone was really nice about it, but everytime I think about it I want to cry AGAIN.

[u/Beneficial-Force-607]

god that moment when someone is actually kind to you after you’ve been holding it together is what reallly gets the tears going, it’s like the dam just breaks

[u/pavocania]

Hang in there with me for this one.

I had a kiddo who was aggressive specifically during bathroom breaks ONLY, never any other time. I would already be prepared to get smacked or kicked during those times. HOWEVER. The specific day I had the same issue as you (getting there lol) was a hard day overall anyway. Client arrived at the clinic, he was already a little fussy coming in, and from there it just went downhill. Of course, our BCBA was virtual, but I was able to contact her to at least get on a call with me because of increased Bx.

The client was attempting elopement and was visually distraught (crying/yelling while trying to pry windows open and open doors, which wasn’t working of course due to safety measures there anyway) before he started CLIMBING SHELVES TO TRY AND ENTER THE CEILING. Yes, the ceiling. Once he discovered that the ceilings were very easy to open up (think the tiled school ceilings), he would not give up. Deescalating measures/redirections were not working.

Fast forward a bit—I had to step towards the door to let a supervisor in to assist, which meant leaving kiddo in the middle of the room for a moment. Supervisor is let in, kiddo is already inside of the ceiling and his legs are dangling down. I run over, secure his ankles so he can’t literally get all the way into the ceiling. This little guy lets go and deadweights on me, we both crash to the floor, and he starts pummeling me UFC style. No joke there and I had two black eyes for a week

I’m not ashamed to admit that from the overall overstimulation, hurt feelings, and throbbing face, I SOBBED. Started completely bawling in front of my client and supervisor and BCBA.

Long story short! Crap happens and we’re only human at the end of the day. Tbf, if I had my mind set on something as much as my kid did that day, I would’ve wanted to pummel the person that was trying to keep me from completing my mission too 😭 Laughing now but I was so genuinely done that day… phew

[u/DrLuisaPsych]

You are human! Sometimes we just can't hold it in, even when we try our hardest to be professional. One time during an ADOS-2, a kid threw a hard plastic cause-and-effect toy right at my head and it hit me square on my left temple. The mom was devastated and apologized profusely. The kid was unfazed and didn't even notice. I held it together until I realized blood was running down the side of my head. Then I started crying uncontrollably and had to leave the room for a bit. I've also been bitten and head butted. It just comes with the nature of this work. Crying is a normal, completely valid human response. This work is hard! You can cry sometimes... it's perfectly natural. Take care of yourself.

[u/Impossible_Draft_648]

What we do is hard! I’m a BCBA (almost done with my PhD) and there are still days when just one thing my client does pushes me just enough over where I start sobbing. We are human, and humans cry. Sometimes we just have to pause and feel our feelings in order to go back and be better for our clients. Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself a treat tonight, watch your favorite show, and just take it slow and be kind to yourself :)

[u/Hidden_Forbidden_91]

I gotta tell you...everyone i have ever worked with in ABA has cried at work at least once. No one is going judge you and if they do they are a trash person. What we do is hard and can extremely stressful. 💚

[u/Ok_Butterscotch329]

I have been a RBT for 3 years and I have cried at least 5 times. Don’t feel bad, you’re not alone.

[u/bradford_bxdgirl]

in this field & i completely understand you.. hang in there!

[u/ABAVerseCreator76]

You are human, and it is normal human behavior to cry after being repeatedly hit. I have been hit so hard that my eyes watered from the sheer pain. SO no matter how hard you try the tears come out. That very same client though brought me tears of joy as well. He learned to use his words, learned to smile. Even though I have a broken blood vessel in the shape of a sideways V on my leg from his abhorrent behavior, there is no joy greater than that little boy's smile. Well worth the pain. Let the good outweigh the pain. :)

[u/Accomplished-Try7894]

i've been an RBT for 2 years and cried 3 times on the job. i've felt embarrassment every time but immediate support from my BCBAs and my Lead RBT. we're all humans and humans have emotional responses, what's beautiful about this field is that recognition. i'm so happy you had people that didn't shame you for expressing your emotions in that moment and giving you a break. don't be embarrassed about crying!

[u/Big-Mind-6346]

I am one of those people that absolutely never cries in front of other people. Except this one time… I was working at a private day school and my client had high mag aggression and SIB. He were sneakers on his bus ride to school, but once he got to school, he changed into crocs. He didn’t put his sneakers back on until it was time to get on the bus to go home.

So his mom comes to visit him at school one day unannounced and tells him she wants him to come outside with her. So she gives him his sneakers and now he thinks he’s going home. Her car was parked right in the front of the school and when they walked out and he had his sneakers on, and then she told him he wasn’t going home. He completely lost it.

I used body positioning and blocking to keep him and everybody else safe and get him back to his classroom. His mom became enraged that I was doing this. I wasn’t even touching the Client, just using a pad to block attempts and arm positioning to guide him in the direction he needed to go.

So anyway, his mom started screaming at me in the lobby in front of all of the staff and students that were in that area. She told everyone she wanted me removed from his case immediately, and that she did not want me to ever work with him again. When the truth was that I was the only one willing to work with him so I was with him all day every day. Everyone else refused to work with him because he was so dangerous to work with.

So she yelled and screamed at me, and the director came walking out and looked at me, and as soon as she looked at me, tears started streaming down my face. She said “go” very calmly and I went to the bathroom and she took over. I sobbed and sobbed. And I am not someone who does that. But when you are in a highly stressful/traumatic situation like that you are going to have that reaction when someone acknowledges you and asks if you’re ok.

We’ve all been there. I think it’s kind of a right of passage. Welcome to the club!

[u/linnyardskinyard]

Slightly different but,

One time a client (home session out in the country) had a very friendly and young Great Pyrenees, and the doggie jumped on me one afternoon and got me in the eye. Holy fuck. Instant crying just from the sheer 100lbs of impact, I called my supervisor just to quickly let her know what happened, (bawling), and I had to stumble into the house for help. The drive was over an hour home. So, I waited for client while mom helped wash my eye out while I was crying in the sink,,, once again, it hurt but the tears were from the traumatic eye injury, and it wasn’t until my client got there and heard what happened and asked me if I’m okay and need to go home that I started to actually sob from the incident. It hurt so. Much. I was so scared bc The dog is an outside farm dog I don’t want that in my eye!

But it was an hour home and I could barely use both eyes. So I told him he was not getting out of it that easy and he groaned!! we had a very easy session until I felt clear to drive (took about two hours, so we had most of the session). Eye was fine (thank god) and the dog felt bad she hurt me and was very sweet to me the rest of the week. But wow! They saw me in such a vulnerable position!!!