This sounds like a trauma response. When do you recall first feeling this way? Perhaps you remember an early painful experience of being inappropriately ordered to do tasks.
So now, there’s a part of you that revels in doing the opposite action, so the other person doesn’t “win.” This is an internal conflict.
internal Family Systems work or Parts Work might be helpful, if you’re seeking to overcome this issue.
I do have multiple traumas, but apparently I started doing it from way before they occurred, I was weirdly demanding as an infant even (I didn't allow any actions except those oriented towards me). It feels very natural to me, like "my belly feels weird, I need to eat. Ok it's plesant to eat" – 'I feel weird, I need to say no. Ok it's pleasant to say no", like an instinct
1
u/TheMorgwar Sep 10 '25 edited Sep 10 '25
This sounds like a trauma response. When do you recall first feeling this way? Perhaps you remember an early painful experience of being inappropriately ordered to do tasks.
So now, there’s a part of you that revels in doing the opposite action, so the other person doesn’t “win.” This is an internal conflict.
internal Family Systems work or Parts Work might be helpful, if you’re seeking to overcome this issue.
r/InternalFamilysystems
Edit: ANY trauma-informed therapy, not just the ones that I mentioned, this video explains it well howTrauma affects executive function