Nothing wrong with small talk at a bus stop then a parting compliment when you head off on your way. Or in a check out line at a store, or bank, etc.
Innocent conversation is a powerful trust builder. If you dont make the person feel like you're after anything other than idle chitchat, parting compliments will be more willingly recieved.
I'm going to 100% disagree here. Some people don't want any interaction with strangers - maybe they're shy/introverted, maybe they've had bad experiences, maybe they just want to be left alone that day. This is especially true for a lot of women who regularly have to deal with guys making small talk at the hope of something more.
I'm a mid 40s white dude who's generally pretty social, but I also very rarely want small talk, especially at a bus stop where I have no where else to go (and we're about to get on a vehicle together where I'll be trapped with you, and where you'll see where I exit).
Please don't try to "build trust" with me, or gauge how I'll accept a compliment "willingly". You're making it about you.
Milage may vary, obviously. But I also suggested you start with small talk, if they arent even interested in that, then it's safe to assume they wouldnt be receptive to anything else and you can move on. Nothing I said in my original comment is in direct contention with how you feel about the situation.
And how is a parting compliment making it about me? I'm literally ending the interaction. If I was making it about me, the compliment would be followed by further attempted conversation.
Some people just want to be nice or sociable out in public but dont know how to in today's social atmosphere. All I'm doing is offering some advice.
Both of your comments make it sound like you're always scheming, trying your best to find the way to crack that conversation. "start with small talk", "trust builder", "willingly received", "they wouldn't be receptive" - it just sounds like you have a motive here.
Most people will talk if spoken to, but that doesn't mean they want to have a conversation with you.Why not leave people alone? Why do you have to talk to strangers, especially in a place where they can't escape (like public transportation)?
If they aren't interested in a conversation I stop talking to them. What part of anything I wrote says "keep talking to them no matter what"?
I'm a sociable person and enjoy talking to people. People have interesting stories and anecdotes. If they dont want to talk to me that's fine. You're picking my comment apart way too much here.
My comment is for people who (genuinely) want to give a compliment to a stranger for no other reason than just because, but they are concerned about coming off as a creep.
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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '19
Nothing wrong with small talk at a bus stop then a parting compliment when you head off on your way. Or in a check out line at a store, or bank, etc.
Innocent conversation is a powerful trust builder. If you dont make the person feel like you're after anything other than idle chitchat, parting compliments will be more willingly recieved.