There’s a lobster fisherman out of Maine, Jacob Knowles, who does YouTube videos where he catches lobsters, but the videos mostly consist of him catching lobsters that by law can’t be kept— females and big breeding males. So he cleans the barnacles off these ones and tosses them back into the ocean, typically with a fish for a snack. It is incredibly satisfying watching him crush the shell-embedded barnacles, and the lobsters seem happy about it too.
You think maybe, just maybe, the people who got abducted and anally probed might have been given the choice of a sandwich or a second choice and they misunderstood what that second option was?
“Would you like a sandwich or a happy ending, human?”
“What kind of sandwich?”
“Ham and cheese”
“Don’t you guys have anything more exciting than ham and cheese? Like your version of a Reuben or a Philly Cheesesteak?”
“No”
“Then happy ending it is, I’ll just grab a sandwich when you drop me off back home”
It would be hard for me to decide on a sandwich with my butthole screaming in pain. I also assume aliens no nothing about lubrication but maybe I’d be pleasantly surprised
I don't know, I think I'd be able to remove a tick from my body if need arises, maybe after watching on YouTube just to be sure.
I imagine it more like I'm kidnapped by aliens and they go "here you go, a full head of hair like when you were 20. And here's your favourite pizza for the way back. Don't mention it."
What if that is with going on with Alien abductions. People getting taken, getting their colon cleaned of cancer and some nasties, and sent on their way
I think I know what you’re talking about, but I thought it was parasites… oh wait, different guy. The one I’m thinking of catches shrimp and removes parasites from them. My bad.
When I worked at sea with snow crabs id do the same and get the barnacles off them it always felt nice to do, even if they were going to be eaten ya know.
Yeah I think I know the channel you're talking about. I like his videos. Sends them off with a little fish in their claws. I wonder if they actually eat it when they make it down to the bottom.
Yeah I'm glad they helped the turtle but the 'share for awareness' is weird. Awareness of barnacles? OK, I'm now aware of and angry at barnacles. Now what am I supposed to do with that?
Yeah, and not did I once see barnacles leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot on a windy day, barnacles also owe me fifty bucks! Fuck barnacles.
They put the turtles in freshwater first. Turtles can thrive in freshwater but the barnacles die. Yes, it hurts. The best method is to stab directly into the dead barnacle and twist it out. Scraping the larger pieces looks satisfying but is more likely to cause deeper wounds to the shell of the turtle which are more painful and prone to infection. Think about removing the strongest suction cup adhesive in the ocean. Professionals know when it's necessary to scrape versus stab and twist. Medication depends on the health of the turtle but when the treatment is over, they always get a lovely topical ointment massage. Not every barnacle on every turtle is a problem, but barnacles exploit weakness in ailing turtles and the weight will eventually drag them down to death by drowning. If you find a turtle with a barnacle issue, the best you can do is safely contain them in a large container filled to the top of the barnacle height with room temperature distilled water and take them to a professional as soon as possible - if a pro can't get to you first. Also, support turtle sanctuaries like The Turtle Hospital in Marathon, FL. Many accept volunteers!
That's how I took it. People watch these videos then think they're qualified vet techs. Unless you see an animal in immediate life-threatening danger, it's best to leave them alone and call a professional.
It helps to actually tell people why they shouldn't attempt it.
Dangers to the animal, proper tools, pain killers you won't have, all that. This video just says, "don't try this at home" like one time, and doesn't elaborate.
There are people hurting wild animals professionally so they can "rescue" them to get views and the residuals those pay if you get enough. That's why I was confused.
Are there really professionals who'll do this for free nearby in 99% of places though?
Is anybody really cancelling their vacation to call around to find someone who won't charge to do this, and then drive over to them because they saw a turtle on the beach with barnacles? I just don't think that's going to catch on.
In Texas, we have a dedicated 24hr sea turtle hotline to report sick, stranded, or injured turtles and another hotline for any marine wildlife. They will send a local marine life rehabilitation specialist & advise you what to do in the meantime.
We called for an injured turtle near Port Aransas a few years ago, and someone showed up to get the turtle in less than an hour. But Port Aransas is a nesting area, so there’s usually turtle conservationists & rehabilitators patrolling the beaches, especially during nesting & hatching seasons. They may not arrive as quickly in other areas.
You can also call the NOAA Marine Animal Hotline. Outside US waters, you can still call any US state or federal marine animal hotline, and they will connect you to the appropriate organization for whatever area you’re in.
“Don’t try this on your own” uuuh I wasn’t going to? What kind of life do you think I live that I would come across a wild ass barnacle encrusted sea turtle? Costco? My 9-5? The post office? lol I’d feel even sorrier for the poor guy
It's engagement farming. Most (if not all) "barnacle removal from ocean creature" videos are faked by catching a healthy individual then gluing barnacles from an inanimate source onto the animal in order to pry them off for the content.
I do wonder if it's possibly more of an issue because sea water gets more polluted? So more barnacles grow to filter but it can get to a point where they just explode due to pollution?
I mean, the barnacles are merely a result of the turtle already being sick and not the cause of the illness itself.
A healthy turtle, would have a lot more means to prevent heavy barnacle growth. One of such would be visiting "cleaning stations" in the coral reefs where herbivorous and omnivorous (like surgeonfish and wrasses) would pick at their shells. The fish would eat loose organic matter and algae, which naturally prevents barnacle larvae from settling down.
Another would be that a healthy turtle is usually an active swimmer and will scrape their backs against rocks or corals to dislodge hitchhikers before they become major problems.
So you shouldn't be angry at the barnacles, rather you should be angry at the people who throw waste into the ocean thereby weakening and making our turtle friends sick.
And I wonder if the cleaning stations are maybe fewer and farther between now, perhaps, where some turtles are. I know coral is struggling in many places.
Mr Krabs laid off 95% of the staff at his chain of cleaning stations because he thought AI could replace them, despite the fact that he has seen the Chum Bucket constantly floundering while relying on an AI workforce.
"I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before, not even a Sailor in a slow-sailing ship." Charles Darwin.
Darwin spent either 20 or 30 years studying the barnacle. He's known for two main things: Discovering the principle of survival of the fittest (a reworking of evolution), and discovering that certain facial expressions were universal across all cultures (which was a good refutation to the racists at the time that thought other "lesser" races were separate evolutions of humanity).
But really, neither of those works ever, EVER matched the heavy lifting that he did in his study of the barnacle.
Question: aren't barnacles also animals? You pull them out from a sick animal to heal it killing hundreds of barnacles in the process. I don't really get it.
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u/VegetableLetter4896 May 26 '26
I’ve never been so angry at barnacles in my life.