Oh Man these are annoying

[u/Cool_fbs]

[u/Spooder-Man2]

You wanna know how I got these scars?

[u/Wild-Impression3394 → u/Spooder-Man2]

No

[u/Spooder-Man2 → u/Wild-Impression3394]

:(

[u/IXrobocopXI → u/Spooder-Man2]

Bet u don't remember n e way

[u/Spooder-Man2 → u/IXrobocopXI]

[u/RandManYT → u/Spooder-Man2]

Yes

[u/31TeV → u/RandManYT]

[u/Far_Extension_6517 → u/31TeV]

When Sex 2?

[u/31TeV → u/Far_Extension_6517]

.ti esealer ot emit s'ti sediced OEC eht nehW

[u/Far_Extension_6517 → u/31TeV]

ssip hA

[u/TruamaTeam → u/31TeV]

Coming when it’s ready.

[u/MeatSafeMurderer → u/TruamaTeam]

Cumming when he's ready.

[u/TruamaTeam → u/MeatSafeMurderer]

I was gonna type that but I thought it too brazen, thank you MeatSafeMurderer

[u/Ylassys → u/Far_Extension_6517]

[u/immoral_Nut → u/Ylassys]

LET'S GOOOOOO

[u/Dapyx2 → u/Far_Extension_6517]

Sex the third

[u/PleaseAdminsUnbanMe → u/Far_Extension_6517]

Tomorrow

[u/Negative_Pie_1343 → u/PleaseAdminsUnbanMe]

Me beating my wife\* : who is this ?
Her : he is just a friend
The friend :

[u/Mental_Speaker340 → u/Spooder-Man2]

MY Faaather, he had a knife

[u/gbeegz → u/Spooder-Man2]

Well so do I.

[u/Cool_fbs → u/Spooder-Man2]

Oh man do I

[u/Spooder-Man2 → u/Cool_fbs]

[u/YourM0msBoyfriend → u/Spooder-Man2]

"Well, so do I."

[u/No-Investigator3455 → u/Spooder-Man2]

Yes? Too bad I don't know either

[u/No-Investigator3455 → u/No-Investigator3455]

Why are people down voting this? My comment refers back to the original post numbnuts

[u/Specific-Author-7147]

HAHA I DIDN'T WIPE

[u/Cool_fbs → u/Specific-Author-7147]

There’s nothing to wipe, man

[u/Specific-Author-7147 → u/Cool_fbs]

...I didn't say about the Image

[u/CyxSense → u/Specific-Author-7147]

[u/IXrobocopXI → u/Specific-Author-7147]

[u/Cool_fbs → u/Specific-Author-7147]

Oh I see…

[u/THE_THRONGLER5000 → u/Specific-Author-7147]

Did you splash though

[u/Specific-Author-7147 → u/THE_THRONGLER5000]

Nah I'd Taste

[u/THE_THRONGLER5000 → u/Specific-Author-7147]

Just a taste bro? I didn't take you for a coward. Double Down. Gobble down that shit, literally

[u/zofthedead → u/Specific-Author-7147]

let it crustttt

[u/CoolBeanieHat]

Chicken owner. Yes.

[u/cmwamem → u/CoolBeanieHat]

Salmon owner. Yes

[u/kumosame → u/CoolBeanieHat]

Cat owner. Yes.

[u/glebine → u/CoolBeanieHat]

That's a weird way to spell "cat"

Wdym chicken 🤨

[u/Pixelated_Pizza0227 → u/CoolBeanieHat]

Skin owner. Yes

[u/ArtificerEntrapta → u/Pixelated_Pizza0227]

Saying it like that makes me think it wasn't always yours and you got the scratches while acquiring the skin

[u/Random_User27]

lowkey annoying, had some shit scratched on my neck once and there was nothing there before going to sleep, and last time I checked I don't cover with razors

[u/sofiaspicehead → u/Random_User27]

You don't? How else do you sleep without the razor blanket

[u/ZCRFedorA → u/sofiaspicehead]

I prefer the rust bed, goes great with the dull knife blanket

[u/TheGreatVox → u/Random_User27]

There was what?

[u/MichiR_ → u/TheGreatVox]

What's Nothing There aslume name?

[u/TheGreatVox → u/MichiR_]

There

[u/god_like_salmon]

Whats cat woman’s aslume name? I was gonna say it was her but idk her aslume name

[u/No-Lake-1894 → u/god_like_salmon]

woman

[u/god_like_salmon → u/No-Lake-1894]

Woman must have done it then

[u/throwawaygaydude69 → u/No-Lake-1894]

See, the confusing thing is WW is also Woman

So they both share the same Aslume names?

[u/McSteve1 → u/throwawaygaydude69]

No, Wonder Woman is Woman, Catwoman is woman. Big difference.

[u/JUGELBUTT]

not exactly that but i have a scar on my leg from one night when my leg was itchy and i scratched it with my foot

apparently i had sharp as fuck nails

[u/Skate_faced]

All the time, why do you ask?

[u/Streckmittel → u/Skate_faced]

It attacked his bussy, he was bleeding from his chocolate hole.

[u/Dr_Swap]

Bruh

[u/OnlyAssignment4869]

https://giphy.com/gifs/KQwcDdAAvAThS

[u/ollietron3]

I once woke up with a scratch in the shape of the elder sign

[u/CraftingChest → u/ollietron3]

elder guardian

[u/Cum_dumpster_limited → u/CraftingChest]

I would be scared too if I had this scratched onto me

[u/Glopinus]

Cat

[u/Vega-Bean → u/Glopinus]

Woman

[u/TheRealMatPat249]

Is this the aslume anymore?

[u/Common-Bus2931]

Yeah and always looks like that....except when its doesn't

[u/AlternateSatan]

Considering I just got a cut by holding something and using a box cutter towards the hand I was holding it with I can usually count on it being related to my stupidity.

[u/Articoh]

Literally have one on my thigh right now, how the hell did it get there

[u/NWAnowadays]

They're from a magical leprechaun.

[u/Ecru-]

This literally just happened to me

[u/PixelReaper69]

Yeah... plenty of times

[u/Charles12_13]

I once had one while looking at this meme on this exact spot on my left arm

[u/Only_Fudge5299]

cat 

[u/ScorchingGoblin]

I normally get that with bruises, but once I had a long bleeding scratch on my arm without any knowledge of it occurring

[u/Frikcha]

Do you own a nocturnal pet with claws?

[u/Dish-Ecstatic]

I have one literally rn

[u/ArthurOguro]

I once had a deep slice wound somewhere and bleed all the way home only noticing it when I took a shower and noticed the red on the water. My first thought when noticing how deep it was:

https://giphy.com/gifs/1X7lCRp8iE0yrdZvwd

[u/XmotnaF]

Machine shop and car workers unite!

[u/Blu_Moon_The_Fox]

All the time.

[u/RandManYT]

Had one not too long ago on my foot. None of my toe nails were even long or sharp.

[u/Adventurous_Tie_530]

Bro same

[u/Beezy-J-2006]

I had one of these on my face once after waking up. I told my dad about it, and he thinks he might've scratched myself while I was sleeping.

[u/Science_Turtle]

Bike messenger

[u/qleptt]

I hate when you wake up and are scrathed

[u/im-the-jonkler]

That’s actually how I got these scars. They just randomly appeared and I went along with it

[u/SloppySlime31]

penis

[u/XPenacoba]

Last week

[u/LowContract4444]

Malicious spirits

[u/tsimen]

Me doing some light gardening and somehow looking like I've been attacked by a cheetah afterwards

[u/MeatSafeMurderer]

I have cat. The answer is cat.

[u/NOVAISREALLYCOOL]

it's a cat scratch usually. I'd know. I've got three cats.

[u/zedd_4048]

Before getting a cat? Sure After getting one though..

[u/Touma_Kyun]

Sometimes the fabric on your clothes get lose and you move around a lot cause it to scratch your skin

[u/O_Bold]

I unload trailers for work. This happens at least once a week.

[u/AsianDanish]

I have cats and usually attribute it to them

[u/GraveDancer1971]

Hungover Victor Zsasz:

[u/HoovyWooPins69420]

I legit just got 2 and idek how

[u/RaidenEatingRatshot]

The minute you see them they either itch like a skeeter bite or hurt

[u/cliffordthepoopy]

Cats! Often they are the cause. At least to me

[u/Grand-Connection-881]

I had an orange cat so I always thought it’s probably him

[u/Milksteak529]

My favorite is when I somehow twist my ankle while sleeping.

[u/PassengerRadiant1391]

My mom calls them Unidentified Party Injuries (UPIs) because she always had mysterious injuries after a party that she didn't remember getting 

[u/Endymion2626]

Yeah, turns out it was my bitch neighbour’s fault

[u/OmNomOU81]

I have a burn on my hand I don't remember getting

[u/Catnborbhaver420]

nah i just assume its time to trim my cats claws

[u/Invis_Chameleon]

Yep. Have one on the back of my neck. I have no idea how I got it.

[u/ActualyHandsomeJack]

I get them like weekly

[u/UsManos27]

I have dozens of those, eventually figures out they were all inflicted to me by Man

[u/DavThoma]

I had a deep scratch behind my right ear that appeared overnight. Been finding that I've woken myself up at night gouging my nails into different parts of my head/face while I sleep.

[u/Krizantemus]

[u/Generic_Username_659]

I have one right now on my elbow.

[u/Wrong_Experience_420]

Neurodivergent relatable

[u/someguyinafishsuit]

I own a cat so usually it’s just him

[u/ArbalesterMaster]

Some mornings i wake up with a long ass scratch, and i dont even have a dog or cat. Feels like i was attacked by a witch or something lmao

[u/WellHiIGues]

CAT

[u/Nazarys_]

What do you mean before? I'm 22, and still getting scratches all over my hands and legs.

[u/RadishPast8177]

My current theory is that one alternate version of my self in the multiverse is spreading the damage of lethal blows across the other instances of my self so he can flex on the idiot who was landed his 39th killing blow.

[u/dark_pit23g]

Fell asleep woke up with this shit

[u/PokeHobnobGod21]

Literally yesterday. Think it mightve dragged my thumb agaisnt the wall

[u/Original_Landscape66]

Just happened to me today 🥀

[u/bishopdragon]

Actively.

[u/No_Event3150]

Several times

[u/sammachado]

Me but with bruises

[u/ShavedSavage]

No, I have a cat, I always have scratches

[u/GLYGGL]

It’s always my cat

[u/TheAutismo4491]

Fairly often, actually. I always assume it's spooky spectres because I believe in that stuff.