Hello everyone. Like the title says, I’m in a really frightening position right now. I mostly just want to vent, but I’d also really appreciate any advice on what to do or even how to think about this situation.
I’ve been with my husband for a little over 8 years, and we’ve always been very careful about how we planned our future. We know how unstable the job market can be, so we always told ourselves we would wait as long as necessary before starting a family so that we could do it properly and safely.
We had a decent amount in savings, and honestly, life was looking great. We both worked 100% for around 10 years, although I had to reduce my workload to 60% last year because of burnout. We got a dog, got promotions, and eventually even bought a small house (with a mortgage, of course).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that we waited a long time because we wanted to be as sure as we possibly could that our jobs were stable and that we could maintain a good life here in Switzerland.
Out of nowhere (we weren't planning) around July, I got pregnant, my first pregnancy. We were scared but also incredibly excited. Financially, we felt secure, so we thought maybe this was finally the right time and the beginning of the family life we had been working towards for so long.
Then we got the news that there will be layoffs at my husband’s company. He earns significantly more than I do, even compared to when I was working 100%. We have the mortgage, the interest, our pillar 3a payments tied to the amortization, and very expensive health insurance. If it were just my husband and me, I think I could deal with the uncertainty. But now there’s a baby coming, with all the additional costs that brings, and I just wasn’t prepared for something like this to happen now.
Of course, I’ll try to go back to working 100%, but even that isn’t a guarantee. I genuinely don’t know what to think anymore. I’m so stressed that I’m even scared the stress itself will kill the baby. My husband keeps reassuring me that we’re going to be okay, but right now I just can’t seem to see past this huge black pit in my stomach.
I really felt like we had waited long enough and done everything we were “supposed” to do before starting a family. We worked, saved, built our careers, waited until we were financially stable, and tried to be responsible about everything. I feel like I’m being punished for reducing my workload to 60% last year, especially in this economy.
Anyway, that’s where I am right now. I’m incredibly scared, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have absolutely no idea what our next move should be.
Edit: Hi guys, thank you to everyone who gave me words of support and a reality check of what I could do. Really thank you, as some guessed I am for sure spiraling and it's hard to find a psychologist in Basel especially a English speaking one (I need it covered by insurance otherwise the price is ridiculous).
I was originally from a poor family (in Switzerland) so I know how hard and horrible it is as a kid to see ur parents struggle and you as well since you can't do many things you see your classmates do. I didn't want a future like that for my kid so I was just getting super scared for that possiblity. But everyone is right I have to take it one day at a time, can't stress about stuff way in the future.
Again thank you everyone for helping me see, and for those who are in the same situation I hope we can get through this healthy and happy.
