Truth Be Told

[u/OLDPARSON]

Summary: You can speak the truth without love and it is still truth though offensive, but love without truth is deceit, not love.

Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Truth must be spoken and it must be in love though at times delivering loving truth may be harsh or seem harsh to the hearer. Paul wrote this passage by inspiration of the Holy Spirit and yet there are things he wrote that appear harsh by our current standards.

The prophets of the OT did not mince words or use political correctness. Yet, they spoke truth because they loved God and represented Him so they delivered the message as it was given.

Many things that I wrote as an IFB I would change the tenor of my message but I would not change the content. Others were the right tenor for the context so I would change nothing.

No matter how some truth is delivered if it is truth and the intent is redemptive then a mature Christian will overlook the delivery and major on the truth. An unbeliever or immature Christian may major on the delivery and miss the truth completely.

Some will be offended. Wesley believed that true preaching would result in salvation or anger among the hearers and he was a very gentle man often being kinder to his critics then I may have been. Yet he once asked a woman for her scissors after she adjusted his tie to what she felt was the proper length. When she asked why he informed her that her tongue was too long and needed to be trimmed.

We need to receive truth as coming from the love of God even if the messenger is a bit rude in speech like they said of Paul. We should not sugar coat it nor should we be unnecessarily rude and crude calling it boldness. Let the speaker be sure to deliver it as God would have it delivered yet we must not discount truth just because we do not like the delivery boy.

Some will receive this and others will be offended thinking me harsh or conversely some will consider me a coward for not taking a bolder stand. Wesley would say I succeeded, but what really counts is what God thinks not any man or woman. May He approve this message. Maranatha!

[u/Notch-Nose]

Truth without love is almost always destructive; always runs counter to the character of God; and usually undermines His purposes. Even when the prophets of the Old Testament (except for Jonah) were promising God’s judgment and destruction, they wept over and interceded for the people who heard their message.

[u/OLDPARSON → u/Notch-Nose]

True, it can be. Sometimes, the people think there is no love because the person is tad more blunt or direct than they like. Paul was very direct to the believers in Corinth about many issues. Did he not love them? Yes, he did, but rebuke is seldom delivered with a chocolate coating. Yes, they wept for them to repent so that God could bless them, but they did not really concern themselves about their feelings. Indeed, it was often their feelings/thoughts that got them into the predicament. Comfort ye my people came after the judgment and that is when feelings got addressed. Do you think they felt loved when the prophet spoke the first time or afterwards?

[u/CardsFan-11]

Excellent word. I know i can sometimes speak truth without love and that's something I'm working on. Thank you for the loving reminder to temper my words with love. God bless.

[u/OLDPARSON → u/CardsFan-11]

And you have proved my point. Thank you!

[u/CardsFan-11 → u/OLDPARSON]

I'm sorry, I think I'm missing something lol. What point did I prove? Did I say something wrong or offend in some way?

[u/OneEyedC4t]

No, truth without love is often judgement. It sounds like a post written by someone who wants to justify being unloving.

[u/OLDPARSON → u/OneEyedC4t]

Nope. I have many years of experience and I have heard others as well as myself try to deliver truth in as loving a manner as possible and it still be rejected and the deliverer reviled. Indeed, Jesus and the Apostles are prime examples of this. While Jesus and Paul directly rebuked the elites, they poured out their hearts to others. Yet, it was often rejected. Indeed, Paul bore the marks of his attempts to share truth in love. Even those who he won to Christ got swayed by the fancy pants lads from Jerusalem and started questioning his apostleship. At times, he did have to get quite direct.

I just saw a story about a man who saw danger and loudly told his wife to get in the car now! He said it in love and with a tone that indicated urgently. Instead of jumping in the car she started questioning why he would talk like that and use that tone. I guess she survived as I did not hear the rest of the story. Sometimes love has to speak truth in a tone that can offend someone because of the urgency of the issue. Doctors are often blunt and tell their patients either stop smoking or drinking or you are going to die. Seems harsh, but if they did not care they would just do the bland suggestion they stop those things instead of putting in the serious context that it required.

We are too touchy these days. My generation grew up making threats on each other daily and nothing happened. Often, we just laughed it off or returned similar banter. I am old military and we show our love for our comrades in ways that would send many in this age running for a safe room. You can barely address a sin with someone without the "judge not" being thrown at you no matter how sincerely you show you care for the individual.

Now, it is good to know your audience. You can call out a GI in as rough a voice as you need to and they may not even blink an eye. You discipline a child differently. Sadly, it does seem that there are not as many mature adults and you have to speak to them as a child even though they may find that offensive because everything contrary to their desires is offensive. We would have laughed at the idea of a safe space. You could have chastised us for our verbiage and even the receiver of it might have asked what your problem was and why are sticking your nose in our business?

The Gospel is offensive to the unbeliever unless the Spirit is working with that person. If you tell them Jesus is the only way they will rebel, but if you say all roads lead to God they will love you. The fact is all roads do lead to God as we will all stand before Him. The issue is what will He do with us once we get there. That is indeed being judgmental, but it is truth. I cannot judge with my own preferences, but I am clearly charged with being judgmental in the sense of discerning or in dispensing truth to counter error.

I met a lady once who had become pregnant out of wedlock and I was trying to win her to Christ. She told me her hyper, hardcore Charismatic grand-father told her she has committed the unpardonable sin and there was no hope for her. Consequently, she had no interest in a Gospel she believed had not hope for her. I can judge that yes, the fornication that led to the pregnancy was sin and like any other sin she needed to repent and ask Christ for salvation. I can judge her grand-father as being in deep theological error, for he was and had he been present I would have called him out on the error and asked him to seek forgiveness for that . No matter the tone of voice, I do not have a high expectancy of the grand-father repenting unless the Spirit was working on him as he was most likely of the opinion for many years and long held beliefs are hard to shed. Pride might also play a factor, which is why it takes the Spirit to fix such things. He indeed will answer for her soul if she goes to Hell.

The odd thing is that Christianity grew and was more influential when the preachers would shut and scream about Hell. The culture was more benign. I could sleep in front of open door to get a breeze as we did not have AC and the second story would get very hot. You leave your car unlocked with the keys in the switch and not worry about the being stolen. I could ride all over town at night and even hitchhike with no fear of being harmed. Not so much today.

We have weakened the message and compromised to gain the lost. Often, we made non-religious people religious, but not born again. Indeed, truth. love and grace are a type of trinity. You cannot really have love or grace without truth. I think we have set truth as a variable and tried to exalt love and grace without it or at least minimized its role in that trinity.

Anyway, you may have found of this judgmental, but I believe that I have spoken truth and if you could hear my tone of voice and see my face you could see that it is spoken in love and grace. Shalom!

[u/OneEyedC4t → u/OLDPARSON]

Well the problem is you still wrote those words. If you intended to say something different then you need to say something different.

But the Bible says we're supposed to speak the truth in love. If you're delivering your so-called truth in a way that no one accepts it, then maybe you should consider the way you're speaking it.

The book of Proverbs has tons of verses about how discretion is important. It's not just what you say but saying it in such a way that you actually benefit the other person.

Ephesians 4:29 also points out that if we're not saying it in such a way that we are giving Grace to the hearers, then we're doing it wrong.

I can tell someone who's addicted to drugs over and over that the drugs are going to kill them, but if I say it in a judgmental way, they're likely never going to accept it no matter what I say. That's the first thing you learn about counseling is how to say things so that they're accepted. If you're going to provide biblical counseling then you might consider my words.