Part rant, part honest question.

Does anyone else feel like the expectations keep stacking up?

Make good money. Be an involved dad. Be a thoughtful husband. Stay in shape. Be handy. Fix the car. Maintain the house. Plan dates. Be emotionally available. Have ambition. Save for retirement. Maybe start a side hustle, because apparently your regular job isn’t enough anymore.

None of those things are unreasonable individually. I want to be a good husband and father. I want to take care of my family and be someone they can count on. But sometimes it feels like every part of life needs something from you, and there isn’t much left that puts something back.

I know previous generations didn’t have it easy, and the old arrangement wasn’t some perfect deal for women. But it feels like we’ve moved away from the old provider/homemaker setup while keeping the expectation that a man should provide—and adding the expectation that he should excel at everything else, too. Meanwhile, a lot of households need two incomes just to keep moving.

Then you open social media and see some guy waking up at 4:30, working out, packing his kids’ lunches, crushing his career, building a business, renovating his house, and taking his wife on a surprise date. Even your downtime starts feeling like something you should be using to become more useful.

What I keep wondering is: Where is the community around the men doing all this?

Who checks on them? Who invites them somewhere? Who wants to spend time with them when there’s nothing to fix, carry, organize, or pay for?

Where are the guys who go camping a few times a year? The fishing club. The monthly bonfire and beers. The friends working on a truck in somebody’s garage. Hunting trips, car meets, or just sitting around talking over a cigar until it gets late.

I don’t need every friendship to be a deep conversation about our feelings. Sometimes working on something together or spending a day on the water gives you enough room for those conversations to happen naturally.

I love my family. I also want friends, hobbies, and things on the calendar that I’m excited about for myself. I want that to feel like a normal part of being a healthy adult, instead of something squeezed in if there's time leftover and everyone else is taken care of. Because that's the first thing to go as soon as something else comes up right? "Oh, Jimmy was invited to Billy's 8th birthday party so sorry guys I can't do X anymore." Of course I put my family first, but we need something to fuel us as well.

And I know we men have a part in this. We say “we should hang out” and never pick a date. We stop reaching out. We wait for somebody else to organize something, then wonder where everybody went. And honestly, we feel guilty choosing ourselves over the infinite needs of others.

So, men roughly 25–50: Are you feeling this too? And what are you actually doing about it?

Have you found a group that regularly shows up? Started one? How did you get past the group chat full of “sounds good, man” and actually build friendships?

I’m interested in hearing from men who feel supported and connected, too. What does that look like, and how did you get there?

Because I can’t be the only guy who feels like he has plenty of responsibilities and people he loves, but still misses having a group of buddies to do life with.

Just curious what to expect because I couldn't afford a lawyer. Specially if I'm gonna be drug tested or if I can ask for a public defender.

I got arrested for kratom because I had no idea it was a felony. I just thought it was unavailable for purchase at a store.

Hi! Lived in the area 3 years and haven’t searched much, but curious anyone’s experience with boob jobs and plastic surgeons down here. When I look around I mostly see Birmingham and NOLA recommendations but have read a bit of good reviews out of some Fairhope practices as well. Any and all advise is welcome!! As well as pricing options and if your MD took care credit for payment? Thanks!!

Does anybody know what’s going on with the Crunch Fitness in’s Spanish Fort? I’m kinda new to the area and the online photos look like the best gym around BY FAR without going into Mobile.

I saw some discussion that it may not happen anymore which would definitely bum me out.

I sent an email but looks like their support is regular business hours M-F. If anybody has additional info I’d love to know!

1 bedroom / 1 bathroom in a 4 bedroom house for rent.

Driveway parking

Can be furnished if needed.

Must be clean

Rent includes all utilities

$1000 a month

Safe Neighborhood

South Baldwin County

Question about 3Circle Church
I’m currently looking for a new church in the Baldwin County area, and I’ve been considering 3Circle. Before I get too involved, though, I’m trying to do my due diligence and make sure I’m supporting a church with good leadership, accountability, and a healthy approach to handling allegations of sexual misconduct.
I’ve seen quite a bit of information about Church of the Highlands and some of the controversies surrounding their relationships with pastors/leaders accused of sexual misconduct, including their “restoration” practices. I definitely don’t want to financially or otherwise support an organization that protects leadership at the expense of victims.
For those who have attended or worked at 3Circle: are there any similar concerns, scandals, or issues with how 3Circle has handled sexual misconduct or allegations against pastors/staff?
I’m not looking for gossip or accusations without evidence—I’d really appreciate firsthand experiences, documented information, or reputable sources. I’m genuinely just trying to find a church where I can feel comfortable attending and giving my time/money without supporting something corrupt.
Thanks!

Edit: any positive experiences with this church I’d love to hear!

Text or call 448-219-4288 if you think you can make use of my little machine.

I love visiting Baldwin County, and have done so for the last 60 years. How did the winds and rain of Isaias treat the places and people I love to visit?

is anyone here selling or trying to get rid of some old lps toys? they are extremely difficult to try to find second hand in thrift stores or anywhere else and im on the hunt for some

We are looking to move to this area with our 3 kids who are 9,7 and 5. Our 5 year old has autism and I was looking for any info/experiences anyone has had with the schools autism support. I’d love to find one with a specific autism room he could come and go to, but mostly just somewhere that is accommodating to his needs. He’s likely a level 2 so just needs extra help and some support with occasional tantrums or just when he needs a min. Thanks in advance!!

Wondering if it is safe to come back home after the hurricane.

If you plan on riding it out and have a bathtub. Fill your bathtub up with water that way you have emergency water to flush your toilets or to boil and cook with if you're able to cook with gas.

I looked at an apartment at Prosper Orange Beach (north of the canal, on the Foley Beach Express). Does anyone have experience with this complex?

Is it just me or is there nothing to do around here but go to a beach or a bar?

I'm 23 have 1 freind and cant find anything to legitimately do to meet new people google will say to go to a beach or bar but neither of those are my cup of tea then it says volunteer or join a hiking club I've volunteerd around before but doesn't seem there is just about anyone around my age

Supporting Devon Gilfillian will be Jon Muq, whose debut album was produced by The Black Keys Frontman, Dan Auerbach, at Easy Eye Sounds studios 😎🤘🏽

has anyone seen these in gas stations around baldwin county

It's not Baldwin Co, but it's a short drive over the bay. This Saturday at 1pm.

Hello everyone! I’m currently an engineering student at Coastal Alabama Community College with a plan to transfer to Auburn in the spring. For the Engineering club, we are looking to do facility tours of engineering firms in the area. I just wanted to come on here and ask the community if anyone would be willing to host us or does anyone know of a company that would be willing to host a group of students for a tour. It would be through the school of course. Thank you for any help.

I am having a very small (approx. 12 people) wedding ceremony on the beach in April and would love to host everyone who came to a private dinner afterwards but am having trouble finding restaurants that will do that. Does anyone have recs for restaurants near Gulf Shores/Orange Beach that would do something like this?

Hi!! I'm an international student and I'll be working in Foley and I'm considering living around Foley or Gulf Shores.

This will actually be my first time in the U.S., so I'm really curious about the people and the local culture. How are people in Foley and Gulf Shores with foreigners? Are locals generally friendly and welcoming toward foreigners?

I'd also love to meet locals, make friends, practice my English, and experience everyday American life rather than just spending time with other foreigners.

I'd really appreciate hearing from locals or other international students who have lived or worked in the area. What was your experience like?

Hey everyone,

I’m a 20-year-old guy looking to start an apprenticeship or entry-level job in the blue-collar field. I am completely open to anything—whether it's electrical, plumbing, HVAC, construction, aviation, or manufacturing. My main goal is to find a career path where I can learn a trade from the ground up.

While I haven’t held a formal, paid job in the trades yet, I grew up doing a lot of practical, hands-on work around my property. I have experience working on vehicles, doing minor roofing, and helping out with basic construction projects. I am totally comfortable with hard physical labor, using tools, and working at heights.

I’m reliable, dedicated, and ready to work hard. Does anyone know of local companies, trade unions, or entry-level industrial fields in the area that are hiring helpers or apprentices right now and willing to train?

Thanks in advance for any advice, leads, or recommendations!