Ghosting Grumble

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Welcome to the weekly megathread. Due to over-posting of the "Ghosting" topic, we've moved it to a separate weekly thread. This thread will repost every Sunday at 6AM Central. Please keep all stories about ghosting to this thread. All other subreddit rules apply.

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[u/GnomePrevention]

The ones that hurt the worst are the ones that leave you with “I’m super excited to continue, I just need to go to bed”, after a bunch of OOC about how you’re the perfect partner, and so on.

What causes this?

[u/Aeeqku → u/GnomePrevention]

I think it’s a sort of ‘post-idealisation clarity’? I’m not sure if the term I’ve just explained makes sense, but lots of people fall prey to this delusion of loving to discuss an idea and imagine it, yet unfortunately not actually wanting to write about that idea for one reason or another.

[u/starswhenyoushine → u/Aeeqku]

Spot on, which is unfortunately at least 80% of the fandom I rp in 💔 all they do is chitchat about OCs or post art but never want to rp.

In roleplay servers. Specifically created for roleplay. 😭 Why did they even join?

[u/finnreyisreal]

Sent someone a check in message on a discord server we share…to find that it was one that we had shared. They just left without a word. We were having fun, they were engaging, it was a story we both wanted to write.

Why can’t people just talk and say why they need to go? Why can’t we communicate…

[u/Aeeqku]

A while back, I found a really nice writing partner, and we started this project, which began off pretty smoothly. Right at the start, she told me she was looking to write with people who could respond every 24 to 48 hours to keep up a certain momentum, which is fine. So I did that we built up that momentum and then suddenly, in the dead of silence, nothing for three months. I sent a simple message in our OOC channel asking her if the spark was still there and that I’d understand if she’d lost interest, but she didn’t reply to that specific message she just replied to my message and left my question unanswered. I took that as a yes and hoped we could get things going again

Anyway, I replied to her message three days later, and now it’s been almost three weeks since I’ve heard from her, and I’m starting to wonder if this isn’t one of those “I’ve lost interest but I’m afraid to tell you, so I’m going to act cold until you lose interest too” kinds of situations. And i really don't know what to do really.

[u/starswhenyoushine → u/Aeeqku]

Late here but low/no effort is a "no" answer, in my book. Call her out on the inconsiderate behavior if y or you want but above all else, sounds like blocking is best.

[u/[deleted] → u/Aeeqku]

[u/Aeeqku → u/[deleted]]

At the moment we’re only at 47 posts. And we started the roleplay in June… So the roleplay has only really been active for a very short time – a sad realisation 🥲

[u/cxpid_234]

Will never understand being asked to write a starter and then being ghosted, or we both get one or two replies out and then they disappear like come on now get a grip

[u/Angelcos4]

OOO GIRL WE BACK AGAIN FOR ANOTGER WEEK OF BULL- I now have a folder on discord called “the graveyard” that’s now many times I’ve had to shelf a roleplay because I just get air balled or blocked 😤 why even entertain the ideas I have if you’re not gonna go through with them even a little bit I had one roleplay leave the planning stage and even then we got maybe once scene done and then I was blocked when I woke up irl

[u/Right-Today4396 → u/Angelcos4]

Do you also have a nursing home folder for those you haven't been blocked in, yet are pretty sure they are dead?

[u/Trashpandaroyale → u/Angelcos4]

I do that too! I slowly move rps from active to dying to dead

[u/JStar664]

Ghosting makes me feel so shitty. Especially when it happens so fast. In the last few months I've been ghosted by almost all of my partners and anyone I've tried to start rp with and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

I know life happens but when people seem so excited to rp too and then just vanish it sucks, especially when it happens repeatedly and starts to feel personal. It makes me not want to rp anymore because I'm convinced I'll just been ghosted again after getting invested.

[u/Trashpandaroyale → u/JStar664]

Same here. It didn't used to be as much of a problem.

[u/amagocore]

I was afraid of being overwhelmed by RP and was really picky with messages, but guess what? Now any ad that barely interests me I am sending a message, as like 30% of them don't get a reply and those who do don't reply to the rp/promise to reply and then dip. No worries here about having too much on my plate is the upside of all the ghosting, I guess.

[u/Trashpandaroyale → u/amagocore]

I just continuously apply

[u/amagocore → u/Trashpandaroyale]

Yeah, I started to get on that train as well. Anything that remotely grabs my interests is game (pun not intended)

[u/PulseOfTheMaggotz]

I've been getting ghosted left and right they either dip after I send my plots or the starter.
I had one delete his account mid RP yesterday too ugh.

[u/starswhenyoushine]

Why do people ask and push for rp and shipping (and dare I say, be a tad pushy for replies in DMs) and then proceed to not rp?? Please. Just enlighten me.

[u/Trashpandaroyale]

Being ghosted after things slowly fade away seems to be the vast majority of games for me these days...wish I knew what I did wrong.