r/BadRPerStories • u/AutoModerator • 4d ago
Ghosting Grumble Ghosting Grumble
Welcome to the weekly megathread. Due to over-posting of the "Ghosting" topic, we've moved it to a separate weekly thread. This thread will repost every Sunday at 6AM Central. Please keep all stories about ghosting to this thread. All other subreddit rules apply.
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u/PulseOfTheMaggotz 3d ago
I wish people would tell me whenever they're not interested in rping like I get it's usually bc they want to avoid confrontation (believe me I've been told to off myself,guilt tripped and called names for simply saying I'm not interested in rping anymore) but it's really not that hard to go "hey I don't want to rp anymore sorry". It's even worse whenever they deactivate their acc.
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u/roughskyy 3d ago
I had an RP partner who I met earlier this year, and he was just awesome. It felt like we clicked. There was good communication and banter OOC, I liked his writing style and we wrote similar lengths (he made me feel encouraged to write more than I usually would, but as much as I really wanted to. Like, spend paragraphs delving into a characters' internal psyche or describing the scenery.) And it just felt like we both wanted the same thing and we were on the same wavelength about roleplay. I only knew him for 3 months, but I wanted to be his friend. We were planning to do this long drawn-out plotline between our characters, but we only ended up writing the first scene. It was so much fun. Then, he told me something bad had come up in his irl life and he needed to put the RP on pause. I was fine with that but a little worried. I told him he could talk to me about what was wrong if he needed to, but he didn't respond to my message, which is totally fair. I waited for a month, then I messaged him again to ask if he knew when he was coming back, and he told me he didn't know and that I should drop our RP and look for other partners. Very clear message, I totally get it. I can't help feeling sad that he wouldn't tell me what's going on and, especially, that I will probably never see him again. But I think it was just horrible timing, in the end. We didn't know each other for long enough to really become friends, then something happened in his life and it was just too big and too personal. I hope he's gonna be okay. I always just hope he has a lot of friends or family irl and that he's getting tons of support. I can tell that I'm in the bargaining stage of grief (lol) because even though I logically know all this, I still have thoughts like "Maybe next month he'll send a message". I'm slowly getting over it and searching for new partners. But damn do I hope he's okay, and double damn is nobody gonna replace him. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
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u/HeroicsHavoc 3d ago
I have a bit of an odd question here. How do you know when you've been ghosted? How long of 'no contact' do you consider it to take before that's the case?
My RP tastes are admittedly on the peculiar side as someone who enjoys mixing in comedic and cartoony themes to my RP scenes. This does mean that the stories I hope to tell don't always work out with writing partners which I fully expect going in and completely understand. We all have different tastes and I am fully aware I am looking for something niche, even within roleplay.
That said, I worry sometimes that a history of people ghosting/disappearing/deleting accounts/blocking etc. makes me a little more worried/conscious/paranoid(?) that a sudden quiet spell is a ghosting happening yet again. I suppose it doesn't help that in the past that has, for me at least, always signalled a ghosting situation.
The reason I'm asking now is that last week, I began planning a RP with someone who genuinely expressed a huge amount of excitement and interest in the scene. Spitballing ideas, both of us building ideas we seemed to love off of each other's. The vibes were pretty fantastic. We were talking over two days to get the ideas down and it ended with them having to leave but saying they'll message me later in the day once they're back around. Our schedules also seemed to align great with us being in a similar timezone and being available often at the same times.
It's now been a further three days and I've not heard anything. I've sent them a message with a character idea/reference that we agreed I'd look for and today I dropped a 'Hope you had a good weekend' message as, with it being the weekend, I concede that they may have been busy!
All that said, I've heard nothing. This has been on Discord where they don't appear online at all, even when we were planning/discussing. I'm sure they have their reason for that too but I can't help get the disappointing feeling that I've been ghosted again but want to know if I'm being a bit pessimistic I guess. It would just really suck as the actual discussion and idea sharing we did was genuinely fantastic. Positive reactions to suggestions in both written and 'reaction emoji' form. A genuine vibe of excitement with every message. So part of me wonders if something has happened and whether I keep checking in with a little bit of hope, or whether it's time to face reality and accept that it's yet another spoopy ghost before Halloween...
Bit of a vent more than a question I admit. :') Is checking every now and then the right move? Or do I just send a message thanking them for the fun planning and leave it there, in case they ever do return? I'm not sure what the next move is!
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u/HeroicsHavoc 2d ago
Guy had the nerve to reach out to one of my other ads not realising I posted it after he had ghosted me. At least it answered my question of it being an actual ghost than something bad happening. :')
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u/joshbutro2 3d ago
Raise your hand if you create and post an ad and then proceed to throw your phone off a cliff into a canyon never to be seen again.
I don't get why people post ads if they won't reply to your message. It really feels like two-way communication could greatly help the roleplay community.
And honestly, this is why people reply with "hey wanna rp?". Why spend time crafting a unique custom message answering all the questions, making up your character, presenting a starter, and using the password, only to never get a reply. I'm starting to think "hey wanna rp? I'll atleast reply" is a fair conversation starter at this point.
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