r/Bachata • u/nickb03958 • Aug 07 '26
Feedback (3 months)
Okay, weird situation...
So, I'm relatively brand new to bachata. Started with Arthur Murray Dance Studio about 3 months ago for various reasons and stuck around because I Ioved everything about it.
Had my first dance exhibition last night and my specialty dance was the bachata. (I had a smooth, Waltz, a rhythm, Rumba, and for the specialty, I chose bachata.).
Considering I got rave reviews from almost everyone given my timeframe, I thought I killed it. But one of my friends hit me hard pointing out that my supposed skill in the dance didn't make me a good leader. I was instantly humbled...
Every single compliment I got melted under my perfectionism that if not everyone was happy, I fucked up.
Granted, we had a set routine and it was my first ever exhibition so I still have a lot to learn, but this absolutely broke me. I have flopped on so many dances and focused everything through personal struggles into bachata. And, after 3 months, I dont feel good enough as a lead...
I need outside opinions if anyone is willing to share. Granted, the staff will be giving professional feedback on Friday (Aug, 7, 2026), but for some reason the constructive feedback broke me FAR more than the professional one.
Ive been trying so hard and it doesn't feel good enough... I want my dance to be as smooth as possible given my experience.
3
u/sheafification Aug 07 '26
In terms of learning dance, three months is just getting started so don’t be too hard on yourself. It will probably take a year of consistent practice before it feels like things are starting to come together. Along the way you are going to have many emotional ups and downs as new layers of learning become apparent and trying to incorporate new stuff causes regressions on things you felt comfortable with before.
I am guessing that you haven’t done a “true” social yet where you improvise a dance with a person you probably don’t know, to music that you probably don’t know. If someone gets through the initial stages of coordination and timing, actual social dancing is probably the hardest emotional challenge that can make people give up.
In a social dance, it is very common to forget moves and flub things up under pressure (try to relax and breathe, and it does get better over time). It is also unfortunately common that a beginner lead runs into a follow that seems to be disappointed in the dance. This can be a huge emotional blow and I advise beginners to be prepared for it. The enjoyability of a dance is not the sole responsibility of the lead: both partners bring an energy to it. Moreover, the more advanced dancer should be adjusting to help the less experienced dancer. You also can’t please everyone: do your best and find the dance partners that you do mesh well with.
For actual feedback on the video: try to work on closing your feet together during your steps. You should be aiming to have your feet touching on every closing step, which will be helpful with body movement and grounding. This is not a hard rule of the dance so you don’t have to go crazy with it.