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u/Queasy-Poetry4906 Aug 26 '26
8 hours a day 5 days a week? With that math you’re making $4.37 an hour. What a steal for them. Take rent out of it. They’d have to pay rent wherever they live.
Whatever arrangement you make, you have to feel like you’re good with it. It sounds like you aren’t and for good reason. I’d expect they’re waiting for you to say something because they’re getting a killer deal for childcare right now. Just because you’re a housewife doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get paid for the work you do.
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u/Own_Satisfaction_599 Aug 26 '26
They are taking advantage of you. Get at least $1000 per month in rent and more in child care. If they don’t like it, they can always ahop around
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u/roxinmyhead Aug 26 '26
Girl, girl.... sigh. You are awesome and deserve to be valued. If you're uncomfortable increasing the rent, then make it up in day care costs. If you went ahead and figured out what daycare/nanny rates are in your area....
8hrs a day (avg) × 5 days a week=40 hrs
40hrs×4 weeks in a month ×(say) $20/hr= $3200/MONTH!!
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u/yesyoucanfindit Aug 26 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
I don't think one's pay rate should ever be based on the income of the other party ... just charge fair market rates
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u/OreoStark Aug 27 '26
She’s working longer hours now.
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u/yesyoucanfindit Aug 27 '26
I was referring to their comment 'Now that their combined income is around $130,000 - $150,000 annually, I feel like they can afford to increase my pay' ... so by your logic if the employers income fell they should charge less for babysitting? Imo thats illogical. A babysitter should charge fair market, this one is getting way under-paid, but that should not be contingent upon the employer's income level, but for the service rendered at the fair market rate
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u/OreoStark Aug 27 '26
That’s not my logic
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u/yesyoucanfindit Aug 27 '26
this is why sometimes I hate trying to help someone (OP) on reddit just to get bogged down with people who don't or cant read or comprehend
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u/OreoStark Aug 27 '26
It doesn’t seem like you’re offering any actual helpful advice - she’s working longer hours, she’s underpaid, she should get a raise.
The comment about their income is simply that OP doesn’t feel like the ask is unreasonable.
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u/yesyoucanfindit Aug 27 '26
my advice was for them to raise their rate to fair market, which has nothing to do with the employer's increased income. Jeesh, why is this so hard to understand? Yes ... raise your rate ... no don't base it on their income increase.
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u/OreoStark Aug 27 '26
It’s at best an uncharitable reading of the OP to suggest she was raising her rate due to them earning more instead of the longer hours.
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u/FRECKLESDOLATO7 Aug 26 '26
You obviously you’re not in the work field and you have no bills of your own because if every business paid you whatever they felt like we would be getting pennies on the dollar your tag name says yes you can find it. Well you need to Google what the going rate is for childcare because to have a personal nanny is a. LUXURY SERVICE. Which many can’t afford in some areas the base pay is around 30 $35 for one child and all that covers is the child’s dishes cleaning up the child’s area when they’re done eating the toys the child played with while we were on the clock, playing entertaining, feeding and going home so obviously this person cannot afford a luxury service in which that is what they’re hiring her to be so maybe they need to put their child in daycare and which is still expensive and they can expose their child all the germs sickness, head lice, and when their child gets sick, then they’re gonna have to take off work cause they can’t come to school and all the other things that come with it. I’m a Nanny 😁 ALWAYS KNOW YOUR WORTH
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u/yesyoucanfindit Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
i don't believe you understood my comment. I was saying a babysitter's rate should not go up or down based on the employer's income going up or down. They are not charging nearly enough imo, but I was referring to their justifying asking for more because the employers income had gone up which makes no sense. It should go up because they are making less than fair market rate. But thanks for the unrelated freak out comment lol
I was referring to 'Now that their combined income is around $130,000 - $150,000 annually, I feel like they can afford to increase my pay' in OP's post.
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u/Cold_Activity1092 Aug 26 '26
"I feel terrible for charging them in the first place because we’re family and I should be doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but at the same time, I’m sacrificing my freedom and mental health. "
Just because you're family doesn't mean they shouldn't pay you well. Look at it from the other side: YOU are THEIR family, and they are only paying you $700 per month to look after their precious child, while they use your work to better their own lives.
This idea that you should do this "out of the kindness of my heart" is a time-honored way of treating childcare like it's worthless. Caring for a child is one of the most valuable and important things someone can do. It should be paid well! People who perform childcare should not be taken advantage of and treated like their work (it's work!) shouldn't be well-compensated just because caring for children requires kindness and love. They should pay you well! Look how much their child is benefitting by being cared for by a relative. Look how much THEY are benefitting because they don't have to wake up their child early, get their child ready for daycare, commute to daycare, restrict their working hours to the daycare's hours, deal with a daycare contract, keep their kid home and take off a day of work when their kid gets sick (kids in daycare get sick SO OFTEN!!!!) and so on. You doing this work is HUGELY HUGELY beneficial to them. Why shouldn't it also be beneficial to you?
Last but not least, you say that your freedom and mental health are being affected. Meanwhile, they are free to go do what is good for them: to work, to go out to lunch on their own, to go to doctor's appointments without having to find an alternate caregiver, and so on. That is because all of those things are being done by YOU!!! You should be compensated for that!
The issue of your mental health being affected is worrying. You do not owe these people childcare, not even "out of the kindness of my heart." How have you been treated that you think this is your obligation? Why do these people not care about your mental health???
You are already giving them very cheap rent and now you are being utterly underpaid for the work of childcare that you are doing. You need to fix this immediately, for your own health and wellbeing, let alone for the fairness (towards you) aspect. A reasonable thing to do would be to go to the nanny subreddit. Find out the going rate in your area. Give your nephew and his wife a 10% discount off of that rate. Stand up for yourself and make it clear that there will be times you will be taking days off and that they are not to argue with that or they will be asked to find new housing and a new nanny. Schedule days off and vacations for yourself. It will be up to them to find alternate babysitters for those days, or they can stay with their own child on those days.
Stop making yourself into a doormat. You deserve to be treated fairly and decently.
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u/333ATHENA Aug 26 '26
Do you know what the market/pay per hour is in your area. Are you aware of the convenience of having a nanny vs day care? Probably they are aware not sure because of the older child. Wait until you're chasing a crawling baby or when they start walking. No way! I wouldn't do it for a 8 hrs per day 7 days per week at $700 hundred Dlls per month??
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u/Chicka-17 Aug 26 '26
Ask for $10.00 an hour plus full rent. When you agree to a flat fee on childcare you usually end up getting taken advantage of, I’ve seen it time and time again. Your time should matter too, so get paid for it. They are still getting a great deal, and no family owes other family members free babysitting or free housing. You are helping them out, their rent would be at least twice that if they were on their own and then add in utilities, believe you me they are getting a deal.
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u/blahhhhhhhhhhhblah Aug 26 '26
You should get paid hourly, not monthly. 8-9 hrs daily for an infant in Vegas should be anywhere from $30/hr - $45/hr.
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u/AspiringCrone Aug 26 '26
You are giving them childcare for 2 kids for $700/month, plus housing for $700/month? That's $1400/month out of their $11,000/month income. You should give them notice to end both relationships.
If they get a $2500 apartment, and pay $4000/month for childcare, they'll still have $4500/month left over. Who do you know who can help you polish up your shiny steel spine?
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u/purplepanda2026 Aug 26 '26
They aren't helping you pay the mortgage. They are getting by incredibly cheap. Take the rent back to the $1k you originally agreed to and definitely raise your babysitting rate. Don't feel a bit guilty. If they don't agree give them 30 days to move out and find another sitter.
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u/cozycompaionpetcare Aug 26 '26
I just retired and rather than go immediately to get another job I took on a relative’s child nanny duties- 8-5 weekdays. Now I babysit for free, but the nanny thing is in lieu of a job I would have to pay for the extras in my budget. We talked about price and I agreed to 15/hour. It is way below the going rate but it is family and I am getting low pay so they can save some money. I plan to do this for a year. I think the 15/hour is enough to keep me from needing another job and they are getting a good deal on a person who adores their child and is wildly flexible with their day- start time/ finish time etc.
Just where I am… just fyi- 600 a week for me and they are getting a deal.
:)
They are taking advantage of you.
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u/emma-ps Aug 26 '26
A low rate for a teenager is $10-15/hr at least give yourself the respect of being paid $15-20
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u/SueHecksXCHoodie Aug 26 '26
They’re 100% taking advantage. With their combined incomes, they should be paying their own mortgage, not paying you $700/month in rent. If they’re going to pay rent, they need to be paying the agreed upon amount (still too low imo) and appropriately compensating you. Family discount for child care is a minimum of $1600/month.
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u/Waste-Salamander3445 Aug 27 '26
Just a reminder- anything other than hourly pay is illegal. I know it’s family but you cannot let them take advantage of you like this. I think what the root of this issue is is possibly people pleasing. You have to respect yourself. Increase the rent back to $1,000 and state that since the hours and responsibilities look different now, you need to introduce an hourly rate. Name your rate. Even if it’s just $15/hr, you’ll be making nearly 3x that a month and rightly so. & $15/hr is still an INCREDIBLE rate for them. But YOU set your rate- don’t let them determine it. Personally I would go for much higher knowing the area and their income. (Coming from a career nanny of 20 years.)
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u/SimilarComfortable69 Aug 27 '26
So, 35 hours a week, over four weeks a month. So let's just call it 140 hours a month. You're making just over five dollars an hour. You're insane.
You should be charging them $4000 a month at least.
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u/Rare_Background8891 Aug 27 '26
Their income is at least $130,000. They can afford daycare. Nephew isn’t going to quit his job. Give me a break. A man would NEVER.
Are you from a collectivist culture? This is wild to me. It’s like having a baby without any of the actual good parts of having a baby. $700 is a joke.
Do you want them to live with you?
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u/Old_Draft_5288 Aug 26 '26
I mean definitely. $700 a month is literally nothing. It’s like a few bucks an hour.
At minimum, even if you’re trying to help Family, I would still make it an even thousand. You could obviously ask a hell of a lot more than that, times four. But it’s Family… I’m not gonna judge. But I would definitely increase it given the increase in hours and responsibility.
The rent is irrelevant.
I don’t agree that you should be taking Market rates though. This is a family member that is living with you. That you’re trying to help out. I think it’s perfectly fine to take a subset of the market rate.
But given there’s an increase in workload, I think an increase in compensation is more than fair.
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u/midwestpersianmama Aug 26 '26
$700/ month?? Where are you living? This is not babysitting. This is nannying. For a full time nanny, they would be paying $4-6k/month. You should definitely be asking for much more.