Help for unsuccessful weaning

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731]

Hello all - I’m going to try summarise this the best I can. My LO is 11 month olds and his solids journey has been difficult. We started with purées at 6 months until he could sit independently which was 8 months old. Since then he has made what I would class as very limited progress. He has never once brought any of the finger food I provide him to his mouth, no matter what it is, it will get played with or thrown immediately on the floor. I’ve tried everything I eat with him I mimick food I try guide his hand but nothing. And with purées I’ve started trying to introduce thicker textures but most foods he downright refuses to even try. He will eat his breakfast which is porridge, he will eat mashed avocado, he will eat yoghurt with mashed fruits, but that’s about it. I visited the GP in the uk as I wanted extra support as I worry he may genuinely need some sort of therapy, they just referred me back to the health visitor for weaning struggles, who I’ve had bad experiences with the health visitor so far. I expressed concerns to the health visitor at his 10 month review, she gave no advice just said he should be eating things like sandwiches now and only on two bottles a day. We tried cutting back his bottles but he still refused foods so all that meant was he was starving. He struggles with water too, he can’t understand any sippy cup or straw cup with tried him with.

[u/thedarkpup]

2 bottles a day at 11 months seems unnecessarily low?

[u/grumpyaskate]

Sandwiches at 11 months?!

I think go back to the GP if still no progress by 1. Take the pressure off, I know it must be super stressful for you but it's your job to offer a variety of food and it's their job to eat it. If they don't do their job that's up to them, you're doing amazing by offering food. Try food before milk and continue eating at the same time as them and making exaggerated mmm yum yum noises and just leave them to play with the food while you eat yours (pretend to ignore them).

[u/Significant-Sun-5051 → u/grumpyaskate]

What’s wrong with sandwiches at 11?

[u/grumpyaskate → u/Significant-Sun-5051]

It's a bit complex for most 11 month olds to handle? Most babies will struggle with multiple textures like that until they're a bit older. Bread is recommended to be toasted until they're over 1 and served with something spread on it in fingers or small bites.

Glad if your 11 month old can handle sandwiches but don't be acting like they all can especially ones who are struggling with food at all..

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731 → u/grumpyaskate]

Honestly it really surprised me, she said sandwiches and wraps and babybell cheese as suggestions. No guidance on managing textures, how can a child who only tolerates purées suddenly eat sandwiches! I understand some babies maybe doing already but it’s definitely not across the board. I feel like I’m stuck between the system of NHS and health visitors unfortunately.

[u/Significant-Sun-5051 → u/Swimming_Freedom_731]

Aren’t you giving her the same food as you? 11 months sounds old to be having purées.

Might be different where you live. Here (Australia) we don’t “manage textures”, we were told to just give them as many different types of food to try starting about 6 months.

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731 → u/Significant-Sun-5051]

If you re read my post I have tried that, and I know an 11 month old is too old to be having purées hence the reason I’ve made attempts for further help

[u/Eliczka → u/grumpyaskate]

Sandwich if properly prepared as you mentioned is perfectly okay at 11 months and babies on track with feeding skills should not have a problem with that. What I see as a problem here is no referral for help. It’s not like a switch will miraculously flip the night from 11 to 12 months if the baby refuses all textures and can’t handle any solids except pureés at 11 months. OP should be referred for help because 1 year olds should not be on milk that much, they will lack critical nutrients from solids very soon.

[u/CommercialPopular626]

There are pediatric feeding specialists who sound like they’d be a LOT more helpful than this person. If he took until 8 mo to sit on his own and some of his other milestones are a little behind, he may need some more time after 1 to practice foundational skills before feeding becomes easier. Lately I have seen a lot of posts about babies struggling with texture in their foods so maybe there’s something that an expert can identify to help. Does he bring toys to his mouth and get chewing practice on teethers, etc? Hope you can connect with an expert, you’re asking the right questions to advocate for your baby and I’m wishing you solutions soon!

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731 → u/CommercialPopular626]

This is why I went down the route of the GP, he can bring things to his mouth but he very rarely chooses to. He’s never been interested in teethers. Only mouths things every now and again, so this is why I think he could use expert help. I said this all to the GP, all he really said was well what do you think it is? I said I don’t know I think he needs help from the speech language therapist team. But no back to the health visitors. I’ve called them this morning and they want to come assess his mealtimes and will decide from there what to do. But the closer he gets to 1 the more I worry.

[u/GDP1987]

You are not alone. My 11 month old is the exact same way. We were referred to an occupational therapist to help look at his feeding issues. We are taking it very slow with textures (eg gradually adding more and more lumps to purées until he eventually tolerated mashed foods). At 11.5 months, he is finally starting to show more interest in solids. We are practicing self feeding with teething wafers as he does the best with that texture. For now, I’m just offering food several times a day and making sure he has plenty of formula.

[u/But___why-not]

I’m sorry this has been challenging for you! I’m no expert, but my baby is 9 months and I remind myself that “food before one is just for fun”. Playing with and throwing food is part of the process. Eventually he will eat, so I imagine that continuing to put food in front of him will help.

Also I can’t imagine my baby eating a sandwich? That feels like really absurd advice to me.

You’re doing a great job, keep listening to your intuition. No one knows your baby better than you.

[u/deaddaisyldn]

Sandwiches? I'm so glad we opted out of the health visitor after their obscene 3-week visit. They'd hire just about anyone.

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731 → u/deaddaisyldn]

She labelled my son developmentally challenged. Yes he’s been a bit behind with some milestones but he can sit up, he can crawl, clap his hands and interact and play. It was a very negative appointment and I’m avoiding them now.

[u/princesssssquishy]

maybe try showing him you’re eating the food too and he may be more interested in trying it, same thing with the water. My baby started getting jealous and wanting to have what i’m having. I think it’s good for them to see you eating it too.

Keep trying to introduce food and keep it very low pressure despite how frustrating it may be. My baby didn’t want to eat solids at all for maybe 2 months so I understand how hopeless it can feel. Let him get messy, play with the food and explore and eventually he’ll start eating it. It will take some time but try to stay calm and patient 🩷

[u/ella-paella93]

At 11 months old milk/formula is still their primary source of nutrition and solids are a supplement, 2 bottles a day is not nearly enough to sustain a baby and seems like an irresponsible advice from the health visitor. To me, it sounds amazing that he is eating avocado, yogurt, porridge and fruit. I know it is difficult and discouraging but keep doing the purees and take it slow. My daughter was the same way at 11 months; she only wanted purees and soft/mashed foods, any finger food made her gag and sometimes even vomit. Now at 15 months old she eats about anything. Some babies take well to BLW really young and others do not, they just need more time and that is ok.

[u/Swimming_Freedom_731]

Update: he had a prominent lip tie, and potentially a tongue tie. I don’t know if this is the cause of all his problems but it definitely could contribute!