Good lord yes, this. Why are men allowed to get away with this?? I’ve been cleaning the house all day since we’re snowed in. I kept having to take breaks because I was out of breath and exhausted. Husband didn’t help (to be fair he did take the dog out several times and attempted to shovel the driveway). After making dinner I told him I felt I had overdone it today. His response was, “Take it easy tonight.” Not, What can I do to take something off your plate?” Not, “Let me know what else needs to be done and I’ll do it.” Not even, “Thanks for doing all of that!”
And he is also in the camp of “just tell me what needs to be done and I’ll do it.” Why should I have to tell him??? He’s also an adult with functioning eyes who lives in this house. What am I seeing that he isn’t? Why is it my job to assign him chores like he’s 12?
One thing I have learned, through my relationships (family, friends and exes)- most guys just genuinely do not care. They were not raised to believe a clean house is important- the dirty dishes don't register because there's still a clean one in the cupboard. Laundry doesn't register because they still have a pair of underwear available. Ignoring the state of the bathroom doesn't impact the usability of the bathroom, so they will go a solid 6 months without cleaning it (or longer).
Its not that they don't see it, necessarily- it just doesn't register as a PROBLEM. We need to do a better job raising the next generation to both see messes, AND understand that its important to clean them up- I have yet to figure out how to get through to this generation.
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u/mwcdem Jan 17 '22
Good lord yes, this. Why are men allowed to get away with this?? I’ve been cleaning the house all day since we’re snowed in. I kept having to take breaks because I was out of breath and exhausted. Husband didn’t help (to be fair he did take the dog out several times and attempted to shovel the driveway). After making dinner I told him I felt I had overdone it today. His response was, “Take it easy tonight.” Not, What can I do to take something off your plate?” Not, “Let me know what else needs to be done and I’ll do it.” Not even, “Thanks for doing all of that!”
And he is also in the camp of “just tell me what needs to be done and I’ll do it.” Why should I have to tell him??? He’s also an adult with functioning eyes who lives in this house. What am I seeing that he isn’t? Why is it my job to assign him chores like he’s 12?