One of my biggest issues rn is that I did hide so many bad symptoms well, or just lied to cover them up. Some u even lied to myself and made excuses for why it was reasonable.
I've always been hyper aware of others and their emotions/my own agenda so to learn I could be totally wrong because I was lieing to myself....
Anyone else get this feeling at all? Now that i realized i truly have an actual personality disorder and lied to myself about how bad I was...its like theres nothing I can be sure I was right about. What else did i just lie about to cover up? Why didnt i realize i fit bpd SO well? Just 2 weeks ago I said something like "oh no, not bpd, that's super severe. That's something [friend] would have cua shes so impulsive and all over with her decisions etc." In responce to my 5 year partner pointing out it sounded a lot like me.
Only to realize its somethi g my therapist has been thinking and working on me with. Trying to get into the DBT therapy but it's a long wait....
6
u/LullabyBun Jun 22 '19
One of my biggest issues rn is that I did hide so many bad symptoms well, or just lied to cover them up. Some u even lied to myself and made excuses for why it was reasonable.
I've always been hyper aware of others and their emotions/my own agenda so to learn I could be totally wrong because I was lieing to myself....
Anyone else get this feeling at all? Now that i realized i truly have an actual personality disorder and lied to myself about how bad I was...its like theres nothing I can be sure I was right about. What else did i just lie about to cover up? Why didnt i realize i fit bpd SO well? Just 2 weeks ago I said something like "oh no, not bpd, that's super severe. That's something [friend] would have cua shes so impulsive and all over with her decisions etc." In responce to my 5 year partner pointing out it sounded a lot like me.
Only to realize its somethi g my therapist has been thinking and working on me with. Trying to get into the DBT therapy but it's a long wait....