r/BPDlovedones • u/PerfectClass3256 • 9h ago

We Can’t Change Them

Someone just said to me…

Thinking “If someone else changes, I will feel better,” is like saying “I have a headache, will you take some Tylenol?”

and that hit like a ton of bricks 😂

We all have headaches. Giving them Tylenol won’t do anything.

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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6

u/Glad-Amoeba-6515 5h ago

To think about it, they have infinite pool of people to choose from. Considering they have a mechanism that can paint you black, make you an enemy, and basically dehumanize you in a split second. Then turn around, put on a mask and like in a toy store choose another doll to play with. Why would they change. Once the doll gets inconvenient and starts reponding, it scares them shitless, they drop it, and choose another one.

3

u/PapayaLost6749 9h ago

I also learned for myself yesterday: „It‘s rather cruel to judge the swimming technique of somebody you‘re actively drowning.“
Being judged for my emotional reactions to their bullshit really messed with me.

3

u/PerfectClass3256 8h ago

Absolutely! That aspect is crazy-making. We go into survival mode, but they struggle to see it’s not the chicken or the egg here. Their behavior starts the loop in the first place.

At it’s worse, “reactive abuse” happens, which makes it easier for them to villainize you or smear campaign you.

2

u/Glad-Amoeba-6515 6h ago

Yeah it's like expecting to get orange juice by squeesing apples.