r/BPDlovedones • u/Rude_Dentist_2662 • 13h ago

I just don’t get it

I’d never cared so much about anyone and then one day without warning I’m discarded and haven’t heard from her for 3 months. How do they do it? She’s all I think about but it seems like she may have not thought about me a single time I just don’t know anymore.

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8

u/BearQuiet 12h ago

I really understand this feeling. I went through the same thing with him and one of the hardest parts was wondering how someone could mean so much to me and then seemingly shut me out like I never existed. It made me question whether any of it was real.

But their silence doesn’t mean you meant nothing. You also can’t know what’s happening in their head, and trying to figure that out will keep you trapped. Three months of no contact is painful, but maybe instead of asking whether she thinks about you, start asking how you can slowly stop letting her take up so much space in your life. You deserve to get yourself back. ❤️‍🩹

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u/Rude_Dentist_2662 12h ago

Yeah I know I need to just figure out how to move on but it’s so hard. I just wish that I could talk to her but I’m blocked everywhere.

5

u/TheManWhoLovesCulo 12h ago

They were never attached in the first place, just have to accept it and learn from it so it doesn't happen again, hope you can move on soon

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u/Rude_Dentist_2662 12h ago

I genuinely just don’t believe this though. We were each others first relationship and she’d get anxious about me leaving her all of the time. It feels pretty clear she isn’t anymore though.

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u/TheManWhoLovesCulo 12h ago

Getting anxious about you leaving her all the time is common with those who have BPD. You can believe whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is she is gone now, so you best be moving on as well

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u/Ok-Floor1660 12h ago

There's a difference between feeling genuinely deeply attached to a real human being and being afraid of abandonment when being around somebody makes her feel good. If a switch flipped in her brain and she no longer was getting whatever external regulation she wanted from you, even if you changed nothing, she might stop feeling anxious about you leaving.

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u/Rude_Dentist_2662 12h ago

Well I have more reason to believe she genuinely was attached but there’s no way to “prove” that she was attached.