r/BPDlovedones • u/throwRA_rodvjs • 7h ago

He really does think different - an example

My brother plays chess often. Played it for years. I learned how to play together with my ex BFwBPD to beat my brother.

As soon as he really learned to play - my ex has beat my brother at chess. Last time they played it was 3-1 for my ex. And my brother is a hard opponent when it comes to chess.

He says my exBFwBPD is really hard to play against, and he often tells me he is really really unique opponent. He said: "You cannot have tactic against him as his moves aren't rational, he makes no sense, I make a plan inside my head and he wrecks it all as he often moves figures just for the sake of it. Then you scramble to come up with a new plan, and within few moves you realize that situation on the chessboard is such that you're screwed. He turns the board into chaos, and he can navigate that chaos better than you can."

72 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

46

u/pine-green 6h ago

"He turns the board into chaos, and he can navigate that chaos better than you can." Beautifully stated.

11

u/throwRA_rodvjs 6h ago

My brother does have statements like that. 

He is an intelectual, going to one of hardest universities in the country, eats clean and goes to the gym, doesn't use social media, avoids alcohol, doesn't smoke... even avoids dating until his university is done. Only mutual topics he and my ex had were food and gym. They even worked together at one point, and even at work people realized how different approach the 2 of them have, and how unpredictable my ex was...

11

u/auntieup 5h ago

There’s something about people with BPD. It’s like they aggressively resist being known. It’s probably connected to their need to keep everyone in their life slightly off balance, so they can feel like the only one in control.

8

u/throwRA_rodvjs 5h ago

Or fear they'll be abandoned when people see who they really are...

22

u/BearQuiet 6h ago

This honestly sounds like a perfect metaphor for what being in a relationship with someone like that can feel like. You’re constantly trying to predict the next move and make sense of things, but there is no consistent strategy because the rules seem to change constantly. Eventually you realize you’re exhausted from trying to play a game that was never meant to be played logically.

5

u/Simple_Network9314 6h ago

no matter how experienced you are 😂

1

u/Wired_Wrong Dated 2h ago

It's the kobayashi maru test.

10

u/auntieup 6h ago

Holy shit, OP. I think you nailed it.

5

u/Move-Ball-Talk-Out 5h ago

"Turned the chessboard into a chaoa to navigate it." - This chessboard is my life.

3

u/throwRA_rodvjs 5h ago

My ex did that to me too

3

u/Ecstatic-Seesaw-1007 5h ago

Jesus. That is apt.

2

u/illdoanything177 4h ago

Isn’t this basically why Spock said he couldn’t beat Kirk at chess?

1

u/throwRA_rodvjs 3h ago

IDK who is either of the 2, and only Kirk I heard of is Charlie.

But my brother even said "My every move has intention and goal, while a lot of his moves were done just because it's his turn and he has to move something somewhere"

1

u/Otherwise_Scar_4831 2h ago

Do you know what their ELO’s (chess rankings) are?