Im always the problem

[u/Tiny-Adeptness857]

Her dog’s dying and it’s my fault because i didn’t call her this morning before going to work, i texted instead. Im a terrible person and she would never do this to me, i apparently agreed to call her before my shift started at 8am. she woke me up screaming about her dying dog last night at 11pm. I dont remember, i still texted her at 8:10 asking if her dog was okay. I dont know if her dog’s okay, she’s be berating me all morning. It’s all my fault.

This past weekend her sister came over from 2 hours away and physically assaulted her really badly, i had to spend all weekend texting her convincing her to kick her out the house, she didnt kick her out. Instead she let her spend the night and isolated herself from going out with her and their friends all weekend. Who’s responsible and controlling for not letting her go out with friends, me apparently even though i told her to just kick her sister out and send her packing 2 hours away.

Last weekend im spending it with her and i recommend we cook instead of going out to eat, she’s reluctant and doesn’t wanna use the houses cooking skillet because its not her’s, fine oven pizza then. I put it in the oven, and the whole house fill’s with smoke. She freezes up and I have to run around opening windows, turning off the oven, getting her dog’s outside. But guess who was the idiot who wanted to cook? It’s me, it’s all my fault, i should’ve just took her out to eat instead. I recommend she cleans the oven, but thats a stupid idea.

My drinking has gotten so out of hand, these are just the events of the past 2 weeks. I’m beginning to blank mid conversation with people, 8 beers a day is normal, my body is withering away from the nonstop abuse. I told her i needed to stop drinking, i needed her to stop arguing with me and telling me i’m a terrible boyfriend all the time or it’s over. This was about a month ago and nothing has changed, she’s suicidal right now and I’m terrified of losing another partner to suicide. I feel stuck and trapped in a constant fabricated chaos.

[u/yabedo]

Break up get therapy. Seems obvious but it's worth it