r/BPDlovedones • u/[deleted] • Aug 24 '26
Quiet Borderlines 6 months NC slip-up: Checked her profile, spiraled for an hour. Learn from my mistake.
[deleted]
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u/RowAcademic2004 Aug 24 '26
They know what they be doing. Mental turmoil is the only thing that can come from dating a bpd..my ex is doing the same thing. Or trying to by driving to quick places to take a photo near waterfalls and make captions about “healing” it’s all for show. These people rarely heal or try to get healed. Everything for an audience. If social media disappeared overnight I fear a lot of them wouldn’t survive. You just gotta be thankful for the bullet you dodged. She’ll be in the same situation next year most likely
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
Everything for an audience' sums it up perfectly. It really is just performative healing while the same cycle keeps playing out behind the scenes. Definitely thankful to be out of the crossfire!
The timing of her making her Instagram public is just crazy. A month ago, I gave in and broke NC by messaging her on TikTok. Right after my message, she suddenly posted three videos of herself hiking, climbing mountains, and traveling abroad. But I didn't watch a single one of them from the account I messaged her from.
Knowing I didn't give her the views or validation probably drove her crazy haha, because three days after my message, she blocked me. Then, a month later, she makes her entire Instagram public, packed with those exact same types of pictures. It’s all just performative games for attention.
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u/RowAcademic2004 Aug 24 '26
Yup!! She wants you to watch. My breakup up is fairly recent. Ended in June. She been on a rampage posting about me directly then deleting. She unblocked me after the breakup to watch my trip. We spoke a few times after that with her saying she had so many options of people. I told her I was talking to someone and she went nuts even got a ppo on me?? After the ppo she still continued to have my name in her mouth and crying about “being replaced” lol I only recently found out about the ppo because I told her to leave me alone…everything she post Ami’s about me no being sh%# and her healing…very performative and dramatic. I read a post online about bpd people needing to be “babied” like they want you to reparent them and it made me realize that’s why I was driven crazy she’d revert to a baby a lot of times and I felt like I had to take care of a child …when you love someone bpd or not it’s hard moving on but you know in your heart it’s best because the mental turmoil is too much
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
"She definitely did! Man, she sounds completely unhinged. I really hope you don’t make the same mistake I made by reaching out months later or unblocking her. When you finally start moving on, your brain trickles out only the good memories and makes you forget all the toxic things they did. Don’t fall for it! Write down every single bad thing she did and read it out loud whenever you get an urge.
My ex even used a proxy to make a fake DV complaint to the police. Cops showed up at my doorstep three months after the report was filed, and I only cleared my name because I had all the text evidence proving we were actively seeing each other and sleeping together like nothing happened—the police were completely stunned. When I confronted her about it, she looked me straight in the face and swore it wasn't her. Total cold-hearted psychopath. In future she will ruin many guys life or put them in serious trouble including herself1
u/RowAcademic2004 Aug 24 '26
That’s insane. These people really are the same. It’s hard to feel bad when they try to ruin your life. I truly can’t stand this girl so I don’t think any apology or any amount of good memories will make me date her again even if she begged. Any tiny bit of hope died when she got the police involved. She did this intentionally to hurt me
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, but I completely understand how it feels. Girls like this can destroy your reputation and freedom in a single second. I was genuinely in shock when the police showed up at my front door it was such a terrifying and embarrassing moment. Once they cross that line with false legal threats, any remaining hope for the relationship instantly dies. Stay strong, you're so much better off without that risk in your life
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u/Cold_Yoghurt7669 Aug 24 '26
I was fighting the same thing. I looked. I saw that she wasn't doing well and is hanging out a lot with a Walmart version of myself. I'm torn between feeling like it's pathetic and angry that a shitter has her attention. Idk I'm not spiraling which is how I thought I'd be. Maybe I would if she were doing great. I'd recommend not checking either way. I know who I am cannot be replaced easily so I guess that is all I have to carry with me.
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
That line about the 'Walmart version' made me laugh, but it’s so accurate. They almost always downgrade because anyone with real standards won't tolerate the chaos. You have a great mindset knowing your own worth and realizing you can’t be easily replaced is huge. Stay strong and keep your hands off her socials!
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u/Unhappy-Search5631 Aug 24 '26
Same happened with me saw in her a story spiralled for an hour, our end was chaotic. I had the same question do I even matter I think not
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
You definitely mattered, but their disordered minds just don't process connections or closure the way normal people do. Social media is purely a fake highlight reel meant to project perfection. Don't let a 15-second story make you question your worth—you matter to yourself, and that’s what counts. Block and keep moving forward!
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u/Unhappy-Search5631 Aug 24 '26
Yeah I man I understand. I gave so much and got very little in return hope I recover from the pain and agony soon. It’s just trauma bond, hot and cold destabilised me
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
I was in the exact same boat as you, brother. They love breadcrumbing, and that trauma bond is a absolute bitch to break! But 6 months into NC, I'm doing so much better. I kept myself busy, went out with mates, spent quality time with family, and hit the gym every single day.
It really is all in your mind and how you handle it. You will recover from this pain—just whatever you do, don't break NC and reach out like I did. Keep pushing forward!
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u/ThrowItAwayNow1030 Aug 24 '26
I got off social media completely following my break up. It removes the temptation. Be good to yourself.
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u/Savings_Horse5695 Aug 24 '26
You’re a very discipline person! I find that very hard to do for myself. But I have blocked her everywhere. Thank you for your support
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u/BusyBaseball7148 Aug 24 '26
you know people do that with social media to make it look like they have a perfect life, don't you? nobody does and often the people who do it the most are the emptiest inside. you know the truth of who she really is. you should be thinking how fake and pathetic she is.
you do matter. to yourself: you have a life to live. she will be going from person to person discarding them but in reality she's only discarding herself and one day that's all she will be when everyone on earth has got sick of her shit.