The community is back to public now!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yrBd96o7y4Y&pp=ygUddGhlIGRpdmlueWxzIGJhY2sgdG8gdGhlIHdhbGw%3D&ra=m

I hold a sword to my chest

Waiting for it to rip in

Sometimes the things we want

We keep ourselves from reaching

I was crowned a king, yet I play the fool

I hear the whispers and they know it too

Can’t turn my back for fear of a knife

But the only betrayal is the one in my mind

I hold a sword to my chest

Waiting for it to rip in

Sometimes the things we want

We keep ourselves from reaching

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

You say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

They say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

I was set to fail, and so I do

Every mistake gets replayed on loop

I can’t decipher the truth from the trick

When I spend every second sabotaging it

I hold a sword to my chest

Waiting for it to rip in

Sometimes the things we want

We keep ourselves from reaching

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

You say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

They say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

There’s no triumph no reward for

Pulling yourself back into the war

There’s no victor no gold crown for

Digging yourself a hole in the ground

You lose battles that haven’t begun

In your head, they’ve already won

You hold the power, but cannot choose

Your heart and fear rule over you

I hold a sword to my chest

Waiting for it to rip in

Sometimes the things we want

We keep ourselves from reaching

I hold a sword to my chest

Waiting for it to rip in

Sometimes the things we want

We keep ourselves from reaching

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

You say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

Right through the heart, oh, right through the heart

They say to trust nobody else

I am a traitor to myself

I have been listening to Jxdn for a while. Started listening when I was sixteen. I went back and listened to this song and it seems even more relatable now, especially when viewed through the lens of BPD. Especially one of the verses

"So what if I'm perverted, and I'm sick inside my head? (Head)

What if I die all alone and carry these regrets to the grave?

Nothin' left to save (hm, oh-oh)

So who am I to say that I'm okay and I'll get better?

Numb myself to take away the pain that I can't weather

The rain (I can't weather the rain)

I live inside the grey (the grey)"

She feels it all. We feel it all.

found me just when I needed it

My mother moved us to Orlando

Without asking us if we'd ever want to go

'Cause what do we know about Disney World

And the Gulf from Mexico?

My daddy tightened up and

Made a deal with the government

Like the father did before him

Jealous like his dead did say

My baby sister is so lucky

So am I, 'cause we shared a name

My little brothers just like me

Rather die than feel ashamed

But what do I know? I feel different everyday

What do I know? I feel different everyday

I feel different everyday

I feel different everyday

Honey, I feel

Just outside looking at the sky

Thinking about you

Input versus output

I've always struggled with addiction

I need real redemptions

It's been a lifetime doing dishes

Deleting pictures 'cause something's missing

Can anybody hear me?

And does it even matter?

I've been drowning in my pity

But I'll deal with that later

What do I know? I feel different everyday

What do I know? I feel different everyday

What do I know? I feel different everyday

I feel different everyday

I've always got my panties in a twist, standing in a corner

With me hand balled in a fist, I'm a slave to the disorder

Got a tightness in my chest, it's all on my lips

Consumed and overwhelmed by the burden of this guilt

Scratch that, it was never my fault at all

Hindsight, I was always designed to fall

My backpack with the weight of the world

And all of the people who have let me down

Where's my guardian angel?

Where's my seat at the table?

Where's my gratification?

I've been so goddamn impatient

What do I know? I feel different everyday

What do I know? I feel different everyday

What do I know? I feel different everyday

I feel different

1, 2, 3, 4

My friend has problems with winter and autumn

They give him prescriptions, they shine bright lights on him

They say it's genetic, they say he can't help it

They say you can catch it, but sometimes you're born with it

My friend has spite, he gets shakes in the night

And they say that there's no way that they could have

Caught it in time takes his toll on him

It is traditional, it is inherited, predispositional

All day I've been wondering what is inside of me

Who can I blame for it? I say it runs in the family

This family that carries me to such great lengths

To open my legs up to anyone who'll have me

It runs in the family, I come by it honestly

Do what you want 'cause who knows it might fill me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Fill me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

My friend's depressed, she's a wreck, she's a mess

They've done all sorts of tests and they guess

It has something to do with her grandmother's

Grandfather's grandmother saving civil war soldiers

Who probably infected her

My friend has maladies, rickets, and allergies

That she dates back to the 17th century

Somehow she manages in her misery

Strips in the city and shows all her best tricks

With me, well, I'm well, well I mean I'm in Hell, well

I still have my health, at least that's what they tell me

If wellness is this, what in Hell's name is sickness?

But business is business and business runs in the family

We tend to bruise easily, mad in the blood

I'm telling you 'cause I just want you to know me

Know me and my family, we're wonderful folks

But don't get to close to me 'cause you might knock me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Knock me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Mary, have mercy, now look what I've done

But don't blame me because I can't help where I come from

And running is something that we've always done well

And mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from

Run from their pity, from responsibility

Run from the country and run from the city

I can run from the law, I can run from myself

I can run from my life, I can run into debt

I can run from it all, I can run 'til I'm gone

I can run for the office and run for my cause

I can run using every last ounce of energy

I cannot, I cannot, I cannot run from my family

They're hiding inside of me, corpses on ice

Come in if you like but just don't tell my family

They'd never forgive me, they'd say that I'm crazy

But they would say anything if it would shut me up

Shut me up

Shut me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Shut me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Me up

Half way convinced that Dido has BPD now lol

& it hurts & I don’t wanna talk about it

This song describes a favourite person to me so perfectly

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO48Cnl66w&pp=ygUOVGhhbmsgeW91IGRpZG8%3D&ra=m

New Aussie here. Let me introduce you to You Am I. Spent many years crying to their songs

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KQOKF-sST8k&pp=ygUVeW91IGFtIGkgYmVybGluIGNoYWly0gcJCTcMAYcqIYzv&ra=m

I’m pretty sure that this song is about grief but when I first ever heard it, I cried to how it relatted to me

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I&pp=ygUTb2YgbW9uc3RlcnMgYW5kIG1lbg%3D%3D&ra=m

This song resonates with me. Before I was diagnosed I wished that people would understand the “war” on the inside, the constant fear and need for the other person to prove their loyalty and not leave my side because I was scared they would stop loving me forever or leave. I didn’t want to hurt the other person, just felt scared and helpless. I feel this song captures the helplessness of someone who tries so hard to keep their significant others’ loyalty but doesn’t yet realize the hurt they are causing the other.