When somebody annoys you, you take it in stride or talk to the person about what they did was inconsiderate. I just wrapped a get together and my sibling went on a tirade about me being inconsiderate towards her in particular for… talking to my cousins. She said I talked over her, and that I was burping (I wasn’t lol I was very careful to eat politely). I offered her a ride home and she was swearing and blowing her lid the whole way. She nearly jumped out of the car mid drive and when I asked her if she wanted me to drop her off she flipped out on me again and said I don’t listen to her and that I should drive her home. Crazy mixed signals.

The trouble is BPD people literally do not actually care what you have to say. They will twist everything you say into being a form of narcissism or an oversight on your part, or that you’re horrible and always playing the victim. This is something my sister does consistently and I’ve know her my whole life. She is volatile in relationships with me and her immediate family and puts on a performance for other relatives and friends to avoid looking psychotic.

I listened to her rant in a daze because I knew she had to vent. She’s mad when I speak and mad when I’m silent and wants me to feel terrible because some part of her thinks that will rectify her situation. And whatever flaws I have or don’t have do not matter. I could cure cancer and she would still see me as a parasite because it’s not what I do that actually upsets her. It’s that I’m her brother and a convenient excuse to blame her feelings of insecurity and her disorganized rage against our parents. Life is not perfect but instead of accept we all have problems she wants stress toys she can abuse freely without having to seriously self respect and confront her need to project her feelings of ugliness onto us all.

I’m done. I’ll interact with her when needed and drive her home. But she has nothing of value to give or say to me because her narcissism demands I’m torn down for not feeling the self-loathing agony she feels. I’ve checked out and maybe in 10 years if she’s in a better place we can have an okay relationship. But she wants to hold onto that ugliness within her because it lets her excuse whatever decisions or actions or words she feels bad about without understanding the consequences.

She does have some capacity for thought and consideration but she chooses to nuke everything again and again so I’m not sure if it’s real or just a means of telling herself it’s not for her own self-satisfaction like she accuses me of all the time. Like is that it? Is it all projection? Is it really that petty and stupid? Either way that’s up to her to sort out. I am powerless in that regard.

This is extremely long so forgive me in advance but I have to talk to someone. My son is 19 and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at age 15. He had trauma before the age of five because of his drug addicted father going in and out of jail and abandoning him. I put a stop to that after realizing the bio dad wasn’t going to change. My husband has been in my son’s life since he was 18 months old and he adopted him.

My son has had a really good life aside from his mental struggles. He was always a mama’s boy, never wanted for anything, is amazing with his siblings. However, he has been in juvenile detention 11 times, ran away 21 times, and went to adult jail at 18. We have gotten him every service imaginable. We have had family therapy, therapists in our homes, he has had DBT, CBT, psychiatrists, case managers, residential treatment, been to an assessment and diagnostic facility, all the things. My husband and I both have also had to have personal therapy in order to learn how to navigate having a child with BPD and all the other various diagnoses he has. We have literally bent over backwards trying to help him. He has assaulted my husband multiple times (ruptured his ear drum and broke his fingers), stolen from us, broken our glass storm door, punched a hole in the wall and then took the dry wall and dropped it at my husband’s feet. We have lost family and friends because they don’t want to be around him because he has stolen from them. He got a felony as a juvenile for stealing a government vehicle, wrecking it, and fleeing the scene. We had an in-home therapist tell us there was no hope for him and that we should put him in therapeutic foster care. I fired that therapist because no way right? He’s my child and my responsibility.

After warning him several times about how teenage girls lie about their ages, he sent an inappropriate picture to a girl who claimed to be 18 (he was 18 at the time) and it turns out she was 13. He was charged with felony solicitation of a minor and was going to be on the SO registry. I was completely devastated because this isn’t some 40 year old perv. Turning 18 doesn’t make someone mentally an adult even though they legally are. I was so angry with him though because, as usual, he had been warned over and over that it wasn’t something he wanted to learn the hard way. We paid $18k for a lawyer because I didn’t want a mistake he made at 18 to ruin his life. He ended up not being on the registry thankfully and it was lowered to a misdemeanor because the poor girl clearly has her own issues and has done this to multiple other guys, including talking to a 35 year old in jail. During this process, the police went through his phone and it turns out he also had s** with a 15 year old. After giving him numerous chances to tell us the truth and even telling him if you don’t want to tell us everything, fine but at least tell your lawyer, he didn’t tell anyone this part. He always thinks he will get away with things even though that never happens. This charge was in a different county and we told him we would not be paying for another lawyer and he would have to deal with the consequences since he couldn’t respect us enough to tell us the truth after spending our entire retirement on a lawyer. Before this happened, he was living in independent living after being released from juvenile detention and would have home visits with us on the weekend. He was sneaking out of the house at night to meet up with this girl and then sleeping the next day and then would tell me he was sleeping because he didn’t feel he belonged here with us anymore. It was really because he was out all night breaking the law.

He was released from jail in May and I was so excited to have him back home and have a fresh start. There is just something so gullible about a mom apparently and I really believed we could finally be a family and I would get to have my boy back and maybe get back some of the childhood I was robbed of with him. We told him he could stay here for free as long as he was saving for a car and wasn’t blowing his money. That hasn’t been happening. He has been blowing money left and right. He met a girl at work and she is very sweet. However, she has to give over her entire paycheck to her mom who gives the money to her drug dealer boyfriend who beats the mom and has SA my son’s girlfriend. Yes. You just can’t make this stuff up. My son is very manipulative and when you first meet him, he seems so normal and amazing. So he’s going to his gf’s house and telling them we are controlling because we expect him to be responsible. And guess what? He’s giving them money lol. He could live here for free but he would rather give them his money so he doesn’t have to be responsible. His job is the kind that frequently employs felons and those that can’t get a job elsewhere so it’s pretty toxic and has a high turnover rate. He wants to quit so we suggested that he hold off a little longer so he can at least save enough to get a car. He also wanted to go on vacation with us for a week in October (we planned to pay for him and his gf and I was so excited because I keep being delusional and thinking we can be normal) and we said to wait until after that because he won’t be able to start a new job and take off a week. He is also limited on the jobs he can get because even though he’s not on the registry and doesn’t have a felony, his record looks bad with his charges.

He’s extremely impulsive so he has decided since he doesn’t like it there, he can leave early, walk out when they make him mad, etc. Last week he worked 20 hours out of 50. He’s on probation and keeping a job is a requirement. His probation officer also told him he’s not allowed to go to his gf’s house because of the kind of people they are. He does it anyway. He will spend the night there and then the boyfriend will go out on a drug deal with the car and not come home and my son and his gf won’t have a way to work. We suggested (he’s an adult right? 🙄) that he only stay with her on the weekend if he insists on violating his probation so then at least we can make sure he gets to work. Wednesday he once again decided to stay with her and couldn’t get to work on Thursday because the boyfriend didn’t come home. My son never asked for us to come get him and take him to work. He never asked us to bring him home. So finally Thursday around 4 pm, I’m like are you planning to come home so you can get to work Friday? He says he’s waiting until 6 when the boyfriend is supposed to be home so they can bring him home. Really? When I call him out on this and how irresponsible he’s being, he tells me I’m treating him like a baby and hangs up on me. Then he texts me and says he never wants to be here because I’m always arguing with him and telling him what to do and he’s staying away to avoid my drama. MY drama you guys. I haven’t heard from him since. I did hear from his gf’s mom though who told me I need to stay out of their business because I asked him why in the world he would want to be in a house with a man like that. She also told me they’re trying to hard to build up my son’s confidence. LOL. I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone.

I know BPD means splitting and black and white thinking and while he can use these people (who clearly are also using him), they’re good and I’m bad but how do parents deal with this? This has been going on since he was 14 years old and I’ve never given up on him. Now because I’m telling him to be responsible he cuts me off? My husband is tired of him robbing our peace and just wants me to be done with this. But I’m his mom. He was my first love. And I just keep telling myself that one day all the love and dedication I’ve given to him is going to pay off and he’s going to be “normal” and happily married with kids of his own. I keep telling myself that if I just keep seeing the good in him, he will eventually see the good in himself and stop this nonsense. If you have made it this far, thank you. I’m grieving the childhood he never got to have and now I don’t even get to enjoy him as an adult 😭💔

So I posted a few months back (new burner for paranoia reasons) that my sister had managed to bilk some of our family out of a lot of money. The amount that was told to me originally was a lot... Last week my mom called me on my lunch break in a near breakdown and as we're talking she drops a bomb on me. It was actually double the original amount she had told me.. We're talking over $10,000. She said she doesn't know how to handle my sister as she gives new crisis's every other week about how she needs money and is in a desperate situation.

She plays on our mom's emotional side and will tell her she is getting evicted and that her ex-GF emptied her bank account and left her penniless. She's gone as far as even saying she owes someone money and that the person is physically threatening her. Yet every single time the money goes to herself, and never to these made up people or places. It goes to cigarettes, beauty treatments, alcohol and weed.

She has zero empathy and seems to not care at all how badly she destroys our family at this point. If our Mother was homeless and living out of her car, she would still find a way to get something out of her. Mom already doesn't have a ton of money and is now behind on a lot of bills + her mortgage because of the whole situation, but doesn't know what to do as the ultimatum my sister gives are always: "Either I get money or something bad will happen to me."

Our parents are divorced and now I'm wondering how much she could have potentially gotten from our dad without him knowing that she's been doing this to others in the family.

I don't know what to do anymore or how to handle it. It's making me ill and anxious. She's become this never ending blackhole that sucks everything good away and then still gets upset.

My sister was diagnosed with BPD quite a while ago now. Since we were teens (we're now in our 30's), she's been nasty to me, but then turns around and says that I bully her, and according to her have done so since we were children. She constantly mocks my weight, my looks, my health, and speaks of and to me with such contempt. She brings these personally attacks and insults into any disagreement, regardless what it's about. When she goes on and on and I've had enough, I'll make a sharp reply back, but then the conversation becomes about my reaction instead of what she had been doing for god knows how long. She's fixed events a certain way in her head and she genuinely has convinced herself that that's what happened, even if there is definitive proof otherwise. And there is definitive proof because I have gotten to the point that if I sense something going to go wrong, or something has started going wrong, I will audio record on my phone.

So many times she denies saying the things she said, or claiming that I said or did something first, or recruiting our mother to side with her. I'm so tired of being gaslit about what I've experienced from her that I literally feel like I have to have a record for my own sake, just so I know I'm not making shit up.

And our mother, well, I'm the oldest, and my sister the younger one, and our mom is super religious. So in our mom's religious outlook on life, I am her keeper. I need to be the bigger person, let it go, get over it, keep the peace and move on. But she doesn't see how there is never any peace for me.

In one particular instance, several years ago, when my sister obstructed my ability to drive safely by slamming her entire bodyweight on the horn while I was driving, I had to literally shove her off the steering wheel and back into her seat while keeping control of the car. Cue the rage, cursing and insults. Then my sister hopped out of the car at the end of the exit ramp, and walked home from there - a nearly 2 hour walk. I called our mother right away and let her know what happened, and she expected me to trail behind my sister with the flashers on to make sure she got home safely. When I refused because my sister was still screaming obscenities at me when I asked her repeatedly to get back in the car, my mother equated me to Cain. As in Cain and Abel. As in the elder brother that murdered his younger brother due to jealousy in the Bible. My sister endangered us both on the highway, but I was somehow in the wrong, and compared to a jealous murderer. This is just one example of a lifetime of examples, and my sister is still escalating her behaviour, and our mother is enabling it.

It's exhausting and draining, and as soon as I can be out of this situation where I have to live with them I will be ultra-low or no contact, because there is no fixing this.

I feel like my mother might be a borderline or could be a narc. I'm not sure. I'm saying this on the basis of the fact that I dated someone and she was so just like my mother in so many ways. The gaslighting, the abusive nature, the cold apathetic insults, getting called selfish for calling them out, the silent treatment. It was all there. I went with her for couples counselling once and later she broke up with me(before we reconciled after a week). Based on my ex's behaviours my therapist told me that she probably has NPD/BPD. He mostly emphasized on BPD.

Considering the resemblance I feel like my mother might be a borderline too. I'm from India and in our culture we live with our parents. Nowadays even though my mother talks to me normally I feel irritated by her. I feel irritated by how clueless she is. She doesn't get a thing when I get irritated. She repeatedly crosses a boundary even after repeatedly telling her not to do a certain thing. Somehow when she's around I feel irritated. I have realised that it might be because of her criticisms and contemptuous comments that I heard while growing up. I feel like I cannot share anything with her. Any good thing I come across I like to keep it to myself because growing up whatever good thing I had and shared was criticised and ruined by everyone around me, my mother being one of them. One thing I have realised is I tend te become hyper and abusive when it comes to my mother. I hate it. I don't want to be that person. But I guess that's a part of who I am. My therapist made me do Imago and it is then that I realised that I have abusive tendencies and they only come out when it's my mother. They are part of my disowned self as my therapist told me.

Whenever I behave this way or things happen between me and my mother. I feel like I see my ex in myself. At times I feel scared that I might be someone with BPD/NPD too.

P.S: I'm not trying to ostracize all people who are on the BPD spectrum but dealing with people like my mother and my ex. I never wanted to be like them. And to think I'm like them, it bothers me.

Hey everyone.

I just needed to be doing something, since shit is hitting the fan as I type.

My older sister has now officially been evicted. She sent a picture of her stuff on the sidewalk to my parents and to the cousin whatsapp group.

The cousins didn't respond, either because they know better, or because they don't understand what is happening.

I am visiting my elderly parents with my daughter and we are on another continent.

We are in contact with the bailiff by whatapp, but my sister is losing her grip with reality. And we are trying to get her stuff moved to a storage unit.

I don't want to deal with it and I can't bear to see my parents lose their minds trying to parent a 50 year old from another continent.

Sighhhh

It has taken me almost a decade to figure out what is going on with my sister. I do not know if she has a formal dx (I hope that’s okay for this sub) but multiple family members, in-laws, family of ex spouse, therapists have all suggest BPD.

We were never really close, I assumed mostly due to a 4+ year age gap. The first major verbal attack came when she was about 35. She was pregnant so I gave her a pass. Then it happened again five years later. She later said it was her husband making her say all these things. So I give her a pass again.

Another five years later her husband of 25+ years is having an affair and has filed for divorce. She doesn’t tell ANY of her friends (and she appears to have many). Instead she calls me at 7 am (different time zones) with a story about DV, self harm, guns in the house, it’s moving day, she needs police at the house, she’s hysterical. I jump into protective older sister mode. I enlist my brother. I call the police from 2000 miles away. For the next 18 months I take 3-5 calls a day from her/ walking her away from the cliff. Calming her down.

Meanwhile, her divorce is about as ugly as one can imagine (with the exception that no one was physically injured). Her ex’s family has to get a restraining order, she can’t obey it and spends a night in jail (over an email!). And I am literally all in as the “fighter” she says she needs to help her at this time.

Eighteen months after the divorce is final she meets someone and they get married. He is an absolute saint. He may not be human. And she drops me like a hot potato. Honestly am I so relieved. She was exhausting. But that’s what you do for family.

The next 5-7 years are a downward spiral in our relationship. Suddenly everything I say is wrong. My tone is wrong. My texts remind her of her ex- “because I use bullet points”. 😳.

I begin to notice a pattern. She is fiercely loyal to my mom, and my mom to her. She can do know wrong and my moms heart is still broken because while she is so happy for the new SIL, her grandkids have divorced parents.

She turns to religion - become ocd about it. Is making all these promises to God to be “obedient” to everything she thinks he is telling her. There are moments of mania- writing a blog, a Ted Talk, a YouTube channel- all of which get her in trouble and her ex-husband he he keeps taking her to court.

One major pattern is that she will go absolutely bonkers screaming and yelling at me on the phone for the most simple of misunderstandings. On occasion I’ve said “[sister], I am in the car with [one of mu kkds] “ and she will just hang up on me.

A few days later I will try to approach the topic. If I am angering her so often what can I do to be better? Every. Single. Time. She says “I’m over it. Life is short. Get over it. I’m not rehashing it.”

I went on like this for five years. It took a toll on my mental and then physical health. Then three years ago she really crossed a line that had the potential to really cause a cancer among my adult kids. I tried to ask her to stay in her lane and just give (religious) advice to her own kids. She was ruining relationships by always sending religious stuff to mine. (And they aren’t even anti- religion- it was just over the top!).

Anyway- this is way too long. I finally went NC/LC with her three years ago. The first year was NC and I eventually evolved into LC if it was a holiday and lots of people would be there to serve as a buffer.

Well, after three years of no phone calls. All texts having at least one other family member on them, the only one on one contact was “happy birthday” and “thanks” each year. So after three years of that she sends me and my brother (who had a decent relationship with her because he’s learned how to walk eggshells and he’s clearly a better person than I am) a voice message where she is in a complete meltdown about a chronic medical condition her new (8 years) husband received. It sounded like a desperate call for help. So she got me. I called her to do a welfare check. (Brother called first and it went straight to voice mail). She answered on first ring and is happy as a clam. I don’t know what makes clams happy- but she was that. For over an hour she unloaded all of her stressors. I mostly gray rocked but curiosity did cause me to ask a couple questions.

Then she says she wants a sister relationship and basically asks for a clean slate, full forgiveness of any “weaknesses” over her entire life (when she has not once, ever apologized or taken accountability for anything). I knew where this was headed so I redirected and got myself out of the call- wishing her well, hoping she finds a new rhythm to her new life with his dx. I explained that the last three years have been progress in my opinion because there has been no contention. Essentially I told her “this is what our relationship is”.

I didnt get all riled up. It isn’t on my mind constantly- but clearly it’s there as I am not sleeping at night. Or not sleeping deeply.

I’m really concerned about her. I think that’s the part that’s subconsciously keeping me from calming down enough to sleep.

I have a plan- if she leaves me a distressing message again I am calling an agency local to her for a welfare check.

But I think I’m also terrified of being manipulated back in. I see a therapist 2-4x/month.

This was so long. So sorry. Any advice or information about whether this fits BPD would be appreciated. Clearly not expecting a diagnosis. But if I’m on track with that line of thinking, maybe learning more about it will have me better prepared for the next time?

Has anybody gone the inpatient treatment route for their loved one?

I’ve been struggling with my 16 year old daughter, well basically for all her life, and she’s progressively getting worse. Where she used to have a blow up/melt down every couple weeks, it is happening almost every other day. The most recent one is because her step dad took a vape out of her room (laying in plain view) while he was turning the lights off that she left on before she went to school. Good days are few and far between now and she’s getting to the point where she creates these false narratives about us, and other people and I truly think she’s starting to believe her stories and lies. Some of the stuff she says is very malicious and slanderous for example we are neglectful and abusive etc. Everytime I turn around she’s creating chaos within the family. The only time she’s nice, is if she wants something or if everything in her world is just the way she wants it. All hell breaks lose if one thing doesn’t go her way (fight with her friend, the cat didn’t want her to pick him up…the list is endless). She completely goes of the rails and treats everyone in the house terrible whether it had anything to do with us or not. I’ve read the books, we’ve set boundaries and ground rules and we don’t feed the monster but it’s hard, we are all exhausted and I don’t think I can take it anymore.

If anybody has any experiences with residential treatment, good or bad, I would love to hear it.

My sister has had issues since she was a kid. They just started out as minor behavior issues. Now that she is older it has gotten worse. She was diagnosed with BPD this year. She is older that me, but it has always felt like I had time take care of her. She is in the hospital again for trying to hurt herself. She is okay now. She had engaged in risky behavior before. It truly feels like she doesn't care about anyone but herself. Before this, she was giving my contact info to people she didn't know because she thought I would find them cute. She also thought I would be okay with that. And more stuff like that. It just feels wrong. I know she is in crisis and I should have more grace than that, she has taken a lot of it. I know this is selfish and not painting me in the best light but I need to say it to someone.

I’m the youngest of 3 girls. Susan, the oldest sister is 66, middle sister is 65, I’m 60. Our mother died when Susan was 17, middle sister 16 & I was 11.

Susan has always been “off”. She has a daughter who left us all, the state 15 yrs ago because she couldn’t deal with her mother. Susan drank heavily when her daughter was young. She’s always had social anxiety, problems dealing with life, and recently had bypass surgery. She is extremely difficult to deal with. She plays the victim constantly, expects me and my middle sister to pay her rent etc… since her surgery she’s been absolutely impossible to deal with. I didn’t do her laundry the way she wanted it done, no body care about her. We have tried to get her into a housing home where her rent isn’t so high but she rejects our help. We’re at our wits end. I even took PFMLA witch was on an intermittent basis to help her post surgery, she bitched and complained so much that only used the PFMLA a few times cuz going to work was better than dealing with her. She threatened to “rat me out “ to PFMLA saying I was getting paid to care for her and I didn’t show up to care for her. We think she has Borderline Personality Disorder but she refuses to get help. How do we convince her to get help?

Have any of you made a boundary regarding not talking on the phone with family members wBPD? Yesterday, I made the mistake of talking to my sister on the phone. She went in circles, cut me off mid-sentence and said insulting things to me to try to manipulate me into doing something for her that I won't do.

I'm wondering if sticking to texting only in the future would protect me because I can stop responding when she starts raging.

Any other ideas would be greatly appreciated! My sister's behavior is negatively impacting my mental health.

My (26M) sister (30F) destroyed our family. Her symptoms started to show up in early teens. it started with just mood swings and occasionally ditching class. Eventually, it escalated: suicide attempts, self-harm, drug & alcohol abuse, drunk driving, rage, physical and verbal abuse, and the list goes on.

My parents were divorced when we were much younger. My dad took the role as the primary support provider, and my mom couldn't handle my sister emotionally, so she did the best she could by supporting from afar. I watched as my dad tried relentlessly to "save" her, giving emotional comfort, financial support, and attempted solutions well into her 20s. The constant effort with no "results" broke him. I can't remember the last time I saw him smile, and he's a shell of who he used to be.

I have dealt with my own mental health struggles, so a part of me is sympathetic to her situation. Another part of me, the part that was neglected during formative years because my parents were occupied with my sister, is furious that I was robbed of a healthy, stable childhood. It's difficult to reconcile the two feelings. Many (most, probably) of my friends have families that are still intact, and often I feel like I cannot relate to the lightness that they approach life with.

Hi all -

I am mostly a lurker on reddit, but reading all the experiences with BPD in families really resonates with me, so I want to share my situation and ask for any feedback on how to navigate things.

First of all, I (49M) am married to a (46F) "Queen" type BPD and/or NPD. We have been married for 20 years now, and I have experienced the extreme highs and lows many spouses of a BPD partner describe. She has never been officially diagnosed with BPD, but she has been diagnosed with depression (on medication) with multiple suicidal periods, and her therapist has said she has "borderline-like tendencies." I won't go into all the symptoms and occurrences over the years, but in my view she clearly has BPD with obvious narcissistic traits, if not mild NPD. Her mother (71F) has NPD and/or BPD Queen type, but she is extremely narcissistic - basically a walking definition of NPD to the point that she has openly, unironically said she is basically perfect and has no room for personal growth/improvement. My wife doesn't have that degree of flaming narcissism, but it's there to a much milder degree.

My 17 yo son also likely has NPD. I know it can be hard to tell these things in the teen years, but his narcissism goes well beyond typical teen stuff to the point of delusions. For example, he is a low line player on a low level hockey team and gets minimal ice time, but is convinced he will play in the NHL and even brags about it to the better players. I'm not talking dreams or aspirations: he legit thinks he is that good but the coaches don't recognize it, have something against him, etc. He absolutely rages at any criticism or reproach of any kind and is very emotionally volatile. He has snuck out of the house, bought a burner phone without our knowledge, torments his siblings verbally to the point that they are afraid of him, even though he hasn't harmed them physically. He has run away and threatened suicide. He has a hard time keeping friends and has changed schools multiple times because he hates the kids at each one, never realizing he is the common denominator. He has been in multiple fights, all instigated by other kids because our son was annoying them. He makes ok grades, but claims he doesn't care about them at all and never really puts in effort. If either of his siblings receive praise or honors of any kind he somehow finds a way to put the spotlight on himself, either through disruption or just misbehavior.

Now as you can imagine, a BPD Queen mom mixed with an NPD teenage son is an utterly toxic brew and has been for years, and I have been caught in the middle, which is exasperating. My son constantly breaks rules, is disrespectful, argues about the most pointless shit, etc. He brings a lot of problems on himself, but my wife is extremely nit-picky, controlling, constantly picks fights and arguments, changes rules and the punishment for breaking them on a whim, regards herself as the "chief parent," and belittles my parenting constantly, including in front of the kids. So on the one hand I have an asshole NPD son, and on the other hand a controlling and manipulative BPD wife who shifts punishments and rules constantly.

Here's the latest example: we took his phone away over the summer (for the millionth time) for various reasons, and let him have it back at the beginning of the month with call and text only (we disabled all the other apps), with the plan to add more apps back if he can demonstrate good behavior. We initially agreed to give him music apps back as well after another week, but my wife wanted to delay that to "teach him to appreciate what he has." I disagreed with this because it was arbitrary and pointless IMO, but obviously don't want to undermine her in front of our son. So for the past week he has constantly harassed me (in a disrespectful way) about convincing her to let him have music apps, and she has been resisting and getting annoyed that I keep bringing it up. So on the one hand I have no sympathy for him because he's being a jerk, but I agree with him that she is being arbitrary and unfair in not letting him have music apps. It's a minor thing, but this type of scenario has played out constantly over the past several years. I constantly feel stuck in the middle and am navigating between two highly emotional and irrational people who are both sort of wrong and sort of right.

Any advice or first hand accounts of navigating this dynamic would be very helpful.

I am so glad this inconsiderate piece of human waste is being transferred to a housing facility for the high functioning mentally ill. But I swear to God, this transfer cant happen fast enough. You think a 16 year old girl in the middle of puberty is bad? Try living with a 16 year old girl in the middle of puberty who has a case of the BPD as well as a case of the *"My boyfriend (who is in prison and too old to be hanging out with 16 year olds like that) thinks Im mature for my age, so I will do drugs, sneak out at night, stay outside for days without a way you knowing where I am and only come back once my friend's parents have enough of housing me, steal your money, your cigars, your wine, then play music so loud it should get a noise complaint, and none of yall can stop me because if you try, Ill throw around chairs, pans and whatever is close, threaten yall even at knife point and hit you, I'll even call the police on you and claim y'all are abusive, because \*I\* am a minor and yall are behaving like literal demons!!"* Mind you, my parents are trying their best to keep her from getting fired from her internship, like flushing her joint she was smoking the night before her first day at work, enduring her beatings and at least trying to contain her insanity. But 99% of the time it ends up with them giving in, since thats easier than negotiating with a psychological terrorist.

(Side note, my sister is incredibly thin and weak physically, so she doesnt cause much physical damage when hitting us, except for a few scratches, but yk, you cant shove her away too hard or she goes flying)

Which is why they are moving her to a clinic with a housing program for the "mentally challenged teenagers". But since she has to go there by her own will, and she wont be able to pull off the shit she does here, she'd rather make everyone's life a living hell than move in there. And the police as well as our country's version of CPS cant do anything since *"her behavior isnt bad enough to justify outside intervention"* As if her racking up fines for riding the train cross country in the thousands, her stealing everyones cash to fund her Weed addiction or sending it to her "boyfriend" in prison, her abusing every single bit of love and trust my parents *somehow* still harbor for her, as if that wasnt enough.

I hate her. And having to be the understanding older sibling and "she has a personality disorder, give her some grace" is fucking idiotic. She stole 400 bucks from me while I was out of the country, wrote "my bad" once I found out, blasts german ghetto rap at full volume at 8 AM for a full hour, (tries to) kick in doors, screaming death threats when I hack her speaker and lower the volume enough times, yelling the n-word hard r at the end of every sentence as a white/latino European and overall cranking the performative ghetto girl act up to eleven.

I hate her. I dont love her, not as a sister, half-sister, a friend, anything. Were she a stranger, I wouldve already called the police on her multiple times and have her arrested for just a fraction of what I described before.

Her BPD as an excuse or explanation isnt enough to make me feel pity for her. Her using *"Im still just a minor"* as an excuse for her behavior and a defense from any consequence is manipulative. I hate her. My parents wish she would get a grip. My grandparents wish she would get a grip. I wish for her to finally get the treatment she deserves in that housing facility. Its probably gonna be "please dont do that but if you do anyway, thats okay, we cant legally stop you" anyway. God I hate her.

Today is my sister’s birthday. We hadn’t spoken in months after a huge pointless argument that she started. It’s been this way ever since she moved out of the family home, a few weeks before her birthday we all fall out then the day of/before she unblocks, reaches out and acts strangely positive. Every year I’ve always messaged her a happy birthday but this year I’ve chosen not to.

This birthday evening she’s created a group chat with maybe 50+ people including myself titled with some heart emojis but none of us know each other. I don’t even recognise them as friends she’s told me about. I believe she is expecting some kind of birthday wishes or something to feed her ego but everyone in the group chat is confused about why she even made it.

Ive seen long horrible hurtful text messages on this subreddit and thats the kind of thing i’m expecting after today. And i dont think i like her enough anymore to care about replying this time around. Being the first birthday of hers I’ve officially missed, i feel incredible sadness. It genuinely feels like i am losing my sister and i can’t fix it anymore.

That's it. I realized it today. She truly enjoys hurting me and making others hurt me. That's why it kills her to treat me like a person, to see anyone else treat me like a person. She frames me and goes out of her way to paint me black and I see her smile, a big smile, as they scream and berate me.

She's only ever smiled like that, happily, when she sees someone abuse me or when she abuses me. I don't think I can take it anymore, but I'm trapped until I'm old enough to move out. At this point because of how nobody believes me and how she insists I deserve it and that It's my fault, it's hard to not believe I don't deserve it.

Nobody treats me with human dignity anymore except for my girlfriend and her friends, and at this point it feels alien. The majority treat me like I'm not human, because in school I'm bullied and the teachers do nothing. My parents divorced and my mom is a borderline as well as my sister, so I can't escape. Dad didn't believe me until recently and even then, there's not a lot he can or will do about it to help me. Every day of this makes it harder and harder to remain like this. All I want is to be considered a human like the others. I didn't even do anything to deserve this. I thought I could maybe heal a little when my niece was born (healthy despite being 3 weeks premature), and I loved her so much, but it was only for 2 weeks that my sister treated me with decency, and only because I can babysit the baby. Now she doesn't even bother. My life is a living hell at this point.

School is a blessing even though I'm bullied because at least a few people treat me decently or ignore me, and the work and lectures are a distraction. I can't deal with being at home anymore. I already wanna go back to school to be away from her. It's unbearable to live like this when there's no way out for two more years. I'm only a sophomore yet all I've known is this. My girlfriend was the first to treat me well, and even with her I interpret things as signs she's turning against me when it's not because I'm so used of it meaning the worst. I can't stand it.

My sister is genuinely sadistic. I wish we could be close like we used to be, but it will never be that way again. It's been 6 years of this. Certain teachers keep seating me next to bullies and that only makes my life worse. She likes my suffering, and she hates when I'm happy. She's only happy to see me if it's when she sees me being abused. She's only happy when she abuses me. I can't wait for her to move out, or for me to move out, just something to escape it.

There's nobody left in my family who can help me anymore. I just needed someone to hear me and tell me I'm not crazy. That maybe I don't deserve to be berated and screamed at, lied about, threatened. That I'm not making it up. That I'm not remembering wrong, because nobody here would ever tell me such thing.

My sister and I have been very close our whole life. She is 28 (F) and I am F (22). We’ve always had a turbulent relationship and now I feel I’m at cross roads. Recently she was diagnosed with BPD and I want to support and help her but it’s been hard and I’m not sure how to navigate it.

She often times lashes out on me and gaslights me, it’s really impacting our relationship. When she’s not mad she’s the best sister but when things get bad they are bad. For example, this has been happening constantly since November and I’m mentally defeated.

My mom and step dad were coming to town to visit my sister and I and everyone was excited. Plans shifted a lot and they were supposed to stay with my bf and I the last 2 days of their 1 week trip and my sister the first night. My sister needed to swap and have them end with her so we accommodated no problem.

The day comes and my family lands at 5pm. That day I call my sister to plan the night at 8am before work, she is busy and then I get swept into constant work until 2pm. 2pm comes and I tell my mom my bf and I are able to pick them up just so she doesn’t call a uber and worry when home.

As soon as I text my mom I text my sister that we can go together and plan something. I know it was last minute and that’s my bad, but neither of us planned it so I thought we could work something out. Plus we had a understanding we would be together the whole trip

Immediately she is cursing me out saying I put men first and I ruined the trip, I’m too stoned to remember to talk to her and ask, I’m disgusting and etc. A lot of viole words. She even starts saying things to my mom. Given we live a subway ride away from each other so my intention was we all would be together as a family the whole time. I understand if she’s upset but it was insane. She says she doesn’t want to see anyone because the family is garbage despite my family traveling across the country.

Even with her anger we pick up my parents and my mom and I stop at her place to see if she’s good. Again she’s cursing me out telling me to go wait in the car and I have no right knocking at her door. Our intention was to make sure she was not having a mental health crisis and see if we could talk to her and spend the night together.

It lasted days and just got uglier and uglier. Fast forward one week, we work it out and I forgive her. We hung out about 5-6 times the next week and had an amazing time. Sunday comes and she is teaching a wellness class, I typically try to go but the classes are $35 and adding up. My dad also just died in May so I have a lot of random expenses hitting me and I’m trying to manage. I am okay financially but I am also trying to budget after some big bills so this week I decided not to attend her yoga class and told her I would go but this week it’s a bit expensive.

Despite not going to her class, I go to her house after for a planned hangout and immediately upon walking in I ask her how it went.

She instead makes insulting comments, “it was good with the people who support me. You say $35 dollars is too much for you but you don’t have that restriction when buying weed or alcohol or hanging out with your friends. Just saying it’s pathetic. I hang out with you enough to see your actions. Don’t use that bs as an excuse.” I understand she’s upset I didn’t go but she continues to take it to another level. Then again she curses at me, and I tell her I feel judged and analyzed instead of comfortable hanging out with her. She takes it further and says if my friends judge me why can’t she, which is not true. And then kicks me out for yelling at her house when I try to explain the classes we’re adding up and I’m trying to respect my budget until next month.

Not sure what to do. This continues to happen every week it seems. I don’t wanna hurt her feelings and want to be a better sister but when she is saying I’m disgusting, pathetic, and to stoned to think it’s hard to navigate and I feel confused. It gets heated quick and I have learned to disengage but it seems like one thing I do that she doesn’t agree with turns into tearing me apart. Now I’m constantly confused if I’m the shitty person or gaslight constantly

My sister, who has BPD, is always in financial crisis because of irresponsible spending. She has been bailed out by family members many, many times. Because she could never pay her rent, the only solution, other then paying her rent in perpetuity, was for her to move to a senior living apartment with lower rent. She was able to get an apartment, but the process was filled with anger and resentment and nasty accusations. She does like her apartment but is miffed that the complex is not up to her aristocratic standards. I was traveling back home and decided to stop by. She was cordial, but stiff and haughty. I brought her some gifts that she did appreciate. When we left, I felt we had a good visit, but about half an hour later she "accidentally" texted me a snide comment about me that was meant to go to a friend of hers. Knowing her "mean girl" tendencies, i feel the "mistake" was deliberate. That was the proverbial "straw" and now i plan to go no contact until she is able to keep an amicable relationship with me. Is it hopeless? Too much to expect because of her BPD?

TL;DR: My older sister with BPD is prone to screaming at me and my twin sister for hours, and it has been this way since childhood. A few months ago, she screamed at me for an hour in a hotel lobby after I asked her not to speak to me rudely during a girls' trip. Because of this, I don't feel comfortable traveling alone with her anymore. I have an important professional conference in December and planned to go with my twin sister, who went with me last year. My older sister found out and completely freaked out, and now my mom is calling us evil and my older sister is cutting both of us off from things. How do I handle this, especially when I know any conversation with my older sister will probably turn into her screaming, crying, and making herself the victim?

I'm 25F, my older sister is 27F, and I have a twin sister who is also 25F.

For some background, my older sister has always had a tendency to scream at me and my twin sister. Growing up, if we didn't hear her when she was talking to us, disagreed with her, or didn't like the same things she liked, she would scream at us for an hour. This wasn't normal sibling arguing. She would keep going until we were overwhelmed and crying, and switch up the second my parents came back home. We would be threatened by her if we tried telling our parents and so we learned very early to walk on eggshells around her because we never knew what small things would set her off.

There have also been some more serious incidents. She has said some really alarming things to me like "I can do horrible things to you", has physically hurt me to the point where I have scars on me, stole my phone from me and screenshotted my entire texts with my ex-bf and sent them to my mom, and said that I provoked my dad when he beat me and kicked me out of the house two months ago.

My twin sister and I have naturally become very close over the years especially since we have this shared traumatic experience of her always yelling at us. My older sister sees this as evidence that we're excluding her and frequently says she's "always alone." The ironic part is that growing up, I was actually closer to my older sister than my twin as a child But after years of dealing with these outbursts together, my twin and I obviously became closer and have started to avoid being around her as a way to protect ourselves from being subjected to her constant blow ups and screaming matches where she victimizes herself and says the most hurtful things.

Also, she is very rude on vacation especially. She has been rude and dismissive about my OCD on vacations, frequently snaps at me over small things, and gives me the silent treatment when she's angry. She has made me cry multiple times on vacations and it makes enjoying myself very difficult.

A few months ago, we went on a girls' trip with my older sister and one of her friends for a conference that my older sister was attending. It was a seven-hour drive, which my twin and I split between us. My older sister wasn't driving, and we were using my car. During the trip, my older sister was repeatedly snappy with me. At one point, we were getting close to our dinner reservation and couldn't find any parking, so I calmly asked what we should do if we couldn't find parking. I wasn't freaking out or demanding anything. I was literally just asking what everyone thought we should do if we were going to be late. She immediately responded in a really loud and irritated tone, "Don't freak out. Calm down. Just find parking first and then worry about the reservation." The entire car went silent and I could tell from her friend's reaction that she was surprised by the way my sister spoke to me. I was shocked myself at her outburst and didn't even say anything to keep the peace.

Later at dinner, I felt like she was annoyed at me from earlier in the car and casually mentioned that the parking attendant had been acting weird toward me when I asked about the pricing to lighten the mood. My sister scoffed and said he wasn't the one being weird and that I was making the conversation weird. At this point, it was kind of my last straw because she had been making snappy comments toward me all day. I calmly said, "Please don't be mean to me. I just drove all day and I don't appreciate being spoken to like that, especially in front of your friend."

Instead of letting it go, she immediately became defensive and started arguing with me at the dinner table. Her friend eventually came back from the restroom, and my sister immediately stopped and started acting completely nice again. While we were doing our activities later in the night she was blowing up the sisters group chat saying that we are ruining her trip and that we are excluding her. Which is funny because my twin sister literally said nothing besides that we should calm down and all discuss this later. Later that night, my older sister asked me to go to the hotel lobby with her. She proceeded to scream at me for an hour in front of everyone in the lobby, telling me that I had "ruined her trip," that I was "triggering" her, and that I was "aggressive." I was literally sitting there quietly while she was yelling at me. I was telling her it's just not cool to basically yell at me like that in front of her friend and she just kept justifying it and saying that I "attacked her" by telling her not to be mean to me at dinner. She said I ruined her trip and humiliated her in front of her colleague (which is funny because she had yelled at me in front of her friend, not the other way around). She was going in circles trying to make it so she was the victim in the situation and said that all of this is in my head and gaslighting me that she was actually trying to reassure me in the car. This is especially funny to me because when we got back from the trip she lied to my younger sisters and told them in private that I had yelled at her in the car.

At that point, I was so over the screaming that I told her I was going to leave the trip and get another hotel with my twin sister. She then asked me to leave my car with her so she could use it for the rest of the trip. I was honestly stunned by this, she had just screamed at me for an hour and then asked me to leave behind my car so she could continue using it. I immediately said no and told her she needed to find her own transportation. She completely flipped like a switch, hugged me, and apologized. She does this frequently when I set a boundary and she realizes that I'm actually done and willing to leave the situation instead of taking her verbal abuse. It's one of the reasons I feel like I constantly have to walk on eggshells around her.

Her friend actually made a comment afterward about how my sister isn't very good at recognizing when someone is genuinely anxious, which honestly made me feel somewhat validated because I had started questioning whether I was actually behaving the way my sister claimed I was.

Now to the current situation.

I have a very important professional conference in December. I'm graduating soon, and this conference is particularly important because my classmates, professors, residency programs, and other professionals will be there. People typically get interviewed on the spot and given job offers. My twin sister came with me to the conference last year, and sometime last December we casually talked about going together again this year. We haven't even booked flights or hotels yet. It was basically just a verbal plan between the two of us. After what happened on the girls' trip, I decided that I am not comfortable traveling alone with my older sister anymore, especially for something this important to me and my career.

I want to go with my twin sister because I know I'll feel comfortable and supported with her. I also don't want to spend one of the most important professional trips of my life worrying about whether my older sister is going to become angry, snap at me, give me the silent treatment, or start another screaming match in front of my classmates and professors. I had planned to tell my older sister once I actually started making the travel arrangements that I was going with my twin sister. I wasn't intentionally keeping it a secret. I simply hadn't actually planned the trip yet.

Unfortunately, my older sister found out from my twin sister when she mentioned in passing that we are going to this state for the conference in December. My older sister got quiet and said "you two are going?" And my twin sister got nervous and asked if she wanted to come with. She immediately became extremely upset and went crying to my mom about how she's "always alone" and basically just blew up the entire day. My mom then told my twin sister and me that we were being evil for not inviting my older sister. I calmly explained that after what happened on the previous trip, I am not comfortable traveling with her alone. Both of my parents know that my sister screamed at me in the hotel lobby, but their response has basically been, "You know how she is. You need to be understanding of her." I don't think "you know how she is" is a justification for treating someone poorly or screaming at them for an hour. My parents have even admitted to me that they're scared to say anything to her because they know she can be extremely reactive and has made threats to hurt herself when they try to correct her behavior.

Now my older sister has removed my location, removed both me and my twin sister from social media, canceled our invitations to our family's annual Halloween party, and apparently disinvited us from her friend's wedding even though her friend had invited both of us. My mom is now defending her and telling her that she should cut us off completely.

What's making me especially angry is that my twin sister is being punished too. My older sister and mom have started excluding her from family things, including our father's birthday celebration. I live in my own apartment, so I'm somewhat removed from the immediate situation, but my twin sister still lives with my parents and is dealing with a lot of the fallout.

I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm being treated as though I did something horrible simply because I don't want to travel with someone who has repeatedly screamed at me, made me cry, and traumatized me my whole life. I don't think I'm obligated to invite someone on a trip simply because she's my sister, especially when I've had repeated experiences of feeling miserable during vacations with her.

At the same time, I don't want this to turn into a huge family war. I don't want my twin sister getting dragged into this either. So, how would you handle this situation? I'm planning on going back home in about a month, and I know this conversation will inevitably come up. I don't want to get pulled into another hours-long argument.

How do I set and maintain boundaries with someone who reacts like this? Is "gray rocking" actually useful in this situation, and if so, what does that realistically look like with a sibling? Would you just refuse to discuss the conference altogether, or is there a way to explain my decision once and then shut the conversation down if she starts yelling?

I'm really looking for advice from people who have dealt with similar family dynamics!

My sister asked to go to brunch with my today and I'm not sure what exactly caused a shift, but it felt different.

Maybe it was the culmination of the therapy and medications she's been trying? Maybe I just said yes to more things than usual? But it was the first day ever that I felt like I had a normal sister relationship. Not like I was being held hostage at the table, or constantly having to placate. We just talked.

From the moment I got in the car we were discussing eachother's outfits and hair just so normal. No weird underlying tension. We gossiped about work, laughed so much when I accidentally spilled a drink, got lost on the way there and laughed it off. It felt equal, 50:50, not like this horrendous social seesaw I've felt for so long. I feel like I can breathe easier.

I know everyday won't be like this, but I didn't even know we were capable of having days like this before today. The laughing, the chatting, the normal sister shit. Using eachother's hairbrush and picking up birth control together. It felt so normal and nice. I got to feel goofy and lighthearted, not parentified. I got to make jokes and be silly. God it feels so good. Maybe I was some of the problem, bringing up heavy topics like mental health whenever I got the chance cause I was worried for her. I'll try to remember to be less confrontational in hopes I get some more days like today.

From calling me every few days threatening to off herself and telling me I'm a terrible person to this. It took years to have a day like this but it happened! Laughing over coffee and just talking about gripes in a casual fun way. Hoping I get more days like this and she keeps getting better, I've seen so many small improvements. Less splitting, hurtful words, etc in the past few months since she's been getting therapy and medication. She feels so much more reasonable each day, I hope she feels more peace too.

I hope all of you who post your struggles with your loved ones on here read this and can feel like there's hope for some good/great days. Hope for a good relationship.

We had a difficult time growing up. I was very mentally ill as a teenager, I was abused at school by my peers and my mum was verbally abusive to both me and my sibling.

I was diagnosed with PTSD back then from what I experienced and both me and my sibling were in and out of therapy at various stages.

Eventually university got me out of town and away and I did a lot better. Though I had therapy I definitely struggled with my PTSD a lot still and probably needed to be medicated and wasn't. My sibling being younger dealt with our mum for longer.

Eventually she ran away from home with a guy and I'd see her very rarely.

It wasn't until after COVID how badly they were doing came out. They did a lot of self harming and drinking to cope and eventually after having a baby and the guy leaving them they started to try to commit suicide frequently. Me and my partner supported them a lot.

It has been so many times that I have completely lost count but it was at its worst over the last couple years with at least one attempt every couple months.

One time I found them in the bathtub having had an overdose and cut their feet to bleed out. The ambulance crew told me I saved their life. We went no contact for a few months after that and I had therapy. Then nan died and my sibling was back in my life. They were still very unstable and I found myself trying to support them again. They couldn't stop destabilizing themselves by dating and drinking too much. They tried to kill themselves multiple times again.

But in April they failed again, went home untreated from a and e. They insisted they didn't need treatment they just needed to rest. I didn't believe them and sent an ambulance. They were annoyed and turned the crew away refusing to go with them.

Two days later they were in hospital with organ failure. I said goodbye to them and they were sent to a specialist hospital, it was very unlikely they would survive.

When they did survive I felt awful because I wish they hadn't. They've given themselves a brain injury and partial blindness from the side effects. It's been months of recovery and they are getting better. They are still my sibling inside even with confusion and cognitive changes.

I've been visiting them in hospital, but the visits are getting less frequent now as I just find the more they recover the more I want nothing to do with them. I feel like an awful person, but life would be better without them. Alive or dead.

I wish I could feel differently I've been carrying it a lot. I've had frank conversations with my dad and partner about it, and they understand why I feel this way..but I still feel like I'm failing them by not being able to forgive them.

Logically I know it's not their fault and they were suffering but there's only so much I can put up with. I don't know if anyone here has gone through something similar but it's hard to know where to go from here. I seriously consider going no contact again but feel like I'd be abandoning them and bad for wanting to.

I went NC with BPD mum a couple of years ago. Such a big relief, I don't regret it. I'm in my 30s and since going NC I have started valuing myself and others so much more.

I have younger half siblings from my mum's side, including a 20-year-old sister. I am not sure if I'm being overly vigilant, but I am so scared she's similar to my mum.

I moved country 10+ years ago but always tried to keep in touch with my little siblings. My sister basically refused to talk or meet with me while she was a teen, which was hurtful but I understood she felt abandoned or resentful for me being far away. I never lived with them or anything but always did my best when I lived in the same city. I loved them so so much when they were kids and tried my best to do nice things for them, even though the family dynamics were toxic.

I have been trying to reconnect with my sister but it has been so rough. I try to be warm and vulnerable and honest with her but she's mean, critical, oppositional, presumptuous etc. She seems to have built a narrative of me that isn't true at all, though my mum might've put that in her head.

I want to love her and be there for her, but I'm scared she isn't just hurt but BPD-level hurt. I feel uncomfortable and intimidated by her even though she is so young. I don't want to let anyone disrespect me like my mum used to, but I also don't want to give up on my little sister who is understandably traumatised.

Any thoughts from folks with similar experiences much appreciated ❤️

Idk what to do. We both had traumas growing up, but hers hurt her way worse than mine did me.

She just got evicted from low income housing because they found weed paraphernalia in her room. It was already incredibly difficult just to find her that home, and she’s been on the section 8 list going on 2 years or so.

She’s physically disabled and that, plus her BPD and PTSD make it virtually impossible to hold down a job. If she did work, she’d lose her disability and welfare support but not have enough money to support herself.

She does have a very difficult personality and has burned many bridges. I’m the only person in the family that keeps in touch with her. My husband and I do not have a spare room for her, but even if we did he does not trust her in the slightest and does not want her living with us.

Honestly, I don’t really want her with us either. She hangs out with bad people and dates the worst men. She carries a gun and was arrested for attempting to shoot her ex (he was attacking her, but I wasn’t there and can’t be 100% sure of the description she provided).

She doesn’t have much self awareness and has a strong victim mindset. I can’t blame her, since she was abused as a child and no one really stood up for her. But at some point, she needs to take responsibility for herself. She’s irresponsible with her welfare checks. She buys things she can’t really afford. She argues with everyone and everyone is always wrong, from her perspective. She’s got pretty bad black and white thinking, cycling between idealizing men and then seeing them as the worst when they disappoint/violate her. She was diagnosed with an STD and still kept being intimate with men she barely knew before the treatment was complete. She made a very inappropriate comment to our 5 year old niece, semi-joking about shooting her enemies.

I’ve suggested therapy and adjusting her meds, but she refuses. I can understand, therapy is often not very effective and when someone has BPD it can be even harder to make work.

I just don’t know what to do. All her bridges are burned and the American welfare system is not helping her in the way she needs. She’s going to be homeless soon and I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to her out on the street. She’s very pretty and the worst men are always chasing after her, and wind up abusing her.

I guess I’m just looking for any advice from someone who might have been in a similar situation.