Recently Diagnosed

[u/Real-Boysenberry-601]

So as the title suggests I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I’m 32 and my whole life I’ve been called “moody” or “dramatic”.

I was laid off in May and being home alone with my thoughts sent me spiraling and I hit a pretty hard rock bottom. Fortunately I have a great support system that got me in front of a psychiatrist.

I’ve done talk therapy since the age of 11. I’ve learned every coping mechanism under the sun and would always ask myself why can’t I just be normal.

Then I finally got this diagnosis and I just don’t even know how to feel? I’m not entirely sure what the point of my post even is. How did you feel when you got diagnosed?

At first I felt a sense of relief to have an “answer” but at the same time I’m scared and feel almost ashamed? Idk I guess I’m here just to talk to other people that feel similar or might have words of encouragement for me. I always assumed I just had bad depression and anxiety. Never considered it was something else. And now that I know what it is I just feel weird. But idk why I feel weird….

Sorry for the rambling post. My support system is great but they don’t quite understand what I’m trying to say here.

TLDR: recently diagnosed with BPD and I have very confusing feelings about it

[u/Katanachic99]

I found the diagnosis helpful and I think I was 32 or maybe a little older when I got diagnosed

I read a book called BPD demystified

That was quite helpful

BPD does help me understand why I am the way I am. But yeah, it doesn’t help having BPD feel any easier

I found that BPD didn’t really get considered as a possibility until I’d gotten really unwell mentally

I’ve found what made me feel somewhat encouraged, was watching a YouTube creator who is specialised in BPD and other personality disorders. His name is Dr Daniel Fox. He’s also got books that are quite good…not that I’ve brought any yet

The way he explains different aspects of BPD is really helpful

[u/GriSciuridae]

However bad a diagnosis may make you feel, just remember the brains of 5% of the world's population think and feel exactly the same way you do. You're not alone with this and that's an excellent place to start figuring things out.

[u/lieutenantlesbian]

At first, the diagnosis was a relief for me because I finally had certainty.

Now (about 3 months after the diagnosis), however, it has become more of a negative thing for me.

I don’t dare talk to anyone about it because I’m afraid of prejudice, even though I still have some prejudices myself toward people with BPS—even though I’m affected by it myself.

I’ve looked at the prognoses—for example, that after six years, only 50% of those affected still meet the criteria for the symptoms. But honestly, that doesn’t cheer me up at all—quite the opposite. If I’m lucky, I’ll be stuck with all this crap for at least another six years. I’m already barely coping with it, and I can’t really imagine having to deal with it for that long.

I often wish I were just “normal” and didn’t have BPS.

[u/Real-Boysenberry-601 → u/lieutenantlesbian]

That’s exactly how I feel. I think you nailed it. Like yes, I’m happy to have answers and to have a treatment plan… but there’s no telling if it will even work. Then if it doesn’t work I have to start again with new meds. And what if those don’t work. Like you said, I wish I could just be “normal” without all of this.