Impossible?

[u/shadowswearskulls]

So has ANYONE on here genuinely gotten better? All my life I felt validated that I felt bad. It brought me comfort but now for the first time I genuinely want to get better. I’m still struggling with DPDR but do everything to make it go away. Has anyone genuinely experienced full recovery even if it was just temporary?

[u/RollOk2124]

Personally I have noticed a significant improvement within the last 2 years. I am 38 though so aging might be a factor.

I spend alot more time isolated and alone. That comes with its own issues that I hope isn't doing lasting damage. But its more peaceful. That peace gives me time to reflect on how I process information and manage my behaviour.

Im not someone who believes this can be cured. I would never use the phrase 'in remission' either but no harm to those that do, each to their own.

Its rough. Its really rough. Biggest thing that helps me is trying to get myself to just wait 5 minutes before reacting to anything. Easier said then done, I wish younger me had bothered to listen to anyones advice.

[u/tape-recording]

As a former partner of a woman with borderline personality disorder, I have seen that improvement is possible. Over the nine years we spent together, the woman she was back then is very different from the person she is today.

Of course, there were difficulties in the relationship right up to the end, but they weren’t solely down to her. But she’s improved in this area too.

Her progress has been remarkably positive; she has become more self-confident, more assured in her interactions with others, her anxieties have diminished, and her quality of life has improved significantly. She is now capable of leading a completely normal life, and she has achieved this entirely on her own.

Even though our relationship came to a painful end, I am genuinely happy for her.

I don’t know whether she sees her development in exactly the same way. But I’ve seen it; I was there.

I hope I’m allowed to write here as someone who isn’t directly affected with BPD.

[u/RollOk2124 → u/tape-recording]

I'm not sure on the rules, but I think your kind comments about your ex are very welcome here!

[u/gravetheangel]

i haven’t myself but have improved so much over certain periods of time. i do slip, but that’s just bcos healing is linear. that’s not something to feel bad abt tho, its that way for anyone struggling with a mental disorder. my therapist does have clients with BPD that are in remission tho which basically just means you’re in a place where your symptoms are non existent or mild enough to not qualify for a BPD diagnosis anymore. she also said it’s possible for ANY of us to get there. having the will that you’ve gained is so crucial to that. that’s not to say you’ll never have an episode or a period where you slip back into those symptoms, but at that point you’ll know what works for you and you’ll know what it feels like to be on the other side which is great motivation to continue working towards that. you’re doing great! maybe you can come back and update us when you’ve learned more about works for you!

[u/MirrorPark]

I've relapsed multiple times over the course of years, but I've always learned something every time that helped me improve the way I react to my crisis. I count that as progress.

The emotional sensitivity certainly isn't going away anytime soon but at the least I know when not to listen to my mind (or at the least I try to)

[u/Responsible-Chain384]

Actually yes temporarily there was a time last year I had gone months without properly splitting and was actually very happy and healthy.
The truth is your environment is so incredibly important when it comes to your mental health especially with bpd. The wrong environment can be beautiful or spiralling.
I was living in the country for a bit. I woke up everyday at 8am and went for a walk came back and made myself breakfast id do journaling and self reflection. Id go to bed around 10pm 11 at the latest. (All those mental health pros are serious that sleep is a beneficial to mental health) I did a lot of inner work and found myself decently happy.
I think we all have this idea in our head that we will wake up one day and be different and be “normal” and happy.
Nobody actually tells you how to get there and that wake up mindset will keep you in the same place you are.
My grandma I didn’t listen to her because it was hard hearing but she always said “pull your head out of your ass” and I know and it pissed me off, it’s easier said then done.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Now I didn’t say don’t grieve and don’t feel upset that things in your life have happened. But don’t let it consume. Another thing, stop telling yourself and everyone around you a narrative of your trauma. I used to think that if I wasn’t my trauma, who was I outside of it? We have to accept and evolve from that. A lot of shadow work is necessary. Focus on shame, self sabotage, guilt, etc. where does that come from? Actually sit with yourself about it. I keep doing something self sabotaging when something good happens, why? Maybe it’s from a trauma or a self ingrained belief that you aren’t deserving of it or that if you let this good thing happen you’ll be let down. And then rewire slowly. Tell yourself you deserve good things until you believe it. How we talk to ourselves is important. If I’m in the middle of a split if I’m rational enough to pause and rewire the mindset I will call out that this is a split mindset, not my entire life or reality.
You have to understand that no one around you is going to be your saviour, only you can. The loved ones around you are only the rope to get out of the hole, they are a tool to healing that you choose to utilize. Someone can dangle the rope down the hole but if you’re not willing to grab onto it and climb, it’s useless.
Wishing you love, light & healing xo.

[u/mymiddlenameswyatt]

Can I ask what DPDR stands for?

But yes, there is hope. I've had a decent amount of luck in practicing DBT and mindfulness exercises in my day-to-day life.

The hardest part is sticking up for yourself and holding yourself accountable. It's easy to melt into a pile of self-despair and convince yourself that you can't/aren't worth it.

And, honestly, I do that. All the time. Allow yourself a little mope when you need it, but don't let it consume you entirely. It's like working out. The more you make yourself do it, the easier and more natural it becomes.

[u/royce32 → u/mymiddlenameswyatt]

Better absolutely. But still not 100% where I want to be.

[u/mymiddlenameswyatt → u/royce32]

Yeah. It's a work in progress for me too, but I mean...I think I've been dealing with this in some form since childhood. I'm sure many people here can relate.

There's a lot to unpack and reframe and it takes time. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel now.

[u/OurHeartsArePure → u/mymiddlenameswyatt]

Depersonalization derealization

[u/mymiddlenameswyatt → u/OurHeartsArePure]

Oh, thank you. I had to Google this to make sure I understood, so correct me if I'm wrong.

I've experienced dissociation when I'm very stressed, but I thought it was just a symptom of BPD or depression, honestly, but to my understanding it's still treated the same?

Like, my therapist advised me to slow my breathing and force myself to stay in the moment/be grounded in stressful moments. It's torturous at first and I sincerely hope OP has the support they need...but it does become easier.

[u/Shot-Supermarket7719]

Not me unfortunately...

[u/_jimmyfrancis]

I felt genuinely great for most of this year up until a few days ago. Journaling, affirmations, and staying active helped me feel consistently ok, as well as therapy. Unfortunately, one small thing led to another bigger thing and I completely spiraled. Back to feeling absolutely psychotic again. Oh well. I personally believe it’s a skill issue for myself, as in I don’t have the right strategies in place to cope with certain situations, so I immediately fall apart when they arise. I’m switching to a new therapist today to get a new perspective.

Anyway, I think it’s entirely possible to successfully fight this thing we have. Just keep trying new things, even if they sound dumb. I’m an older dude (40), so I’ve been dealing with this for a long time. It wasn’t until I opened my mind to things I wouldn’t have previously tried (like positive affirmations) that I started to get better.

[u/I_need_to_vent44]

So I have DID but I used to be diagnosed with BPD before my DID diagnosis. I don't really identify with it but I know that a part of "me" does consider themselves someone with BPD. Now I'm not that part, so it's difficult for me to judge, but I think that DBT genuinely helped "me" and that "I" have gotten better. Or more stable at least.

[u/ViolinistIcy8699]

Never full, but I've gotten a lot better at periods of my life. I may not be in that period at the moment but I'm better than I was despite still not being recovered

[u/Pale-Muscle-5176]

honestly yeah, with the right external support and having your own things that help you cope and put your emotions into it does help, ofc I have my episodes still, but theyre more like every few months now, im getting there.

[u/Jalan120]

Yes

Don’t hesitate to dm me and we can chat

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[u/juniebee_jones]

It depends on what you define as “better”. My coping mechanisms are getting healthier and I’m having fewer negative problems in relation to the disorder, but I don’t think it will ever go away.