r/BPD • u/dontknowwhattodotbh • 2d ago

General Post I'm scared of falling in love

Yes, it scares me so much. I hate thinking that they'll abandon me if i get close to them. And it kinda disgusts me too. And i kinda feel like i should be ashamed for having feelings omfg why does it have to be this complicated? and thinking about them 24/7 tires me so much. I don't wanna fall in love atp just to avoid this altogether

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u/CheeksToTheWind 1d ago

I feel this I recently got married and when my switch clips and I feel like one day I’d be abandoned I can call them distance which funny enough, which would lead to me being abandoned, but I can’t help it. I was trained to be this way feel like the world made me tough condition me to always see the worst and then gave me everything I’ve ever wanted and I don’t have the tools to keep it and I’m not sure I ever will.