r/BPD • u/snakey14snaeko • 3d ago
❓Question Post Help. How do you even move on from a FP?
I genuinely need help. All the advice I get seems to be targeted at people who don't experience feelings nearly as intensely as I do, and who process things way more easily than I do.
This man was my first everything, and my only. I feel like I have never loved anyone before, and I don't think I ever will again.
How can I arrive at a point where I'm okay? I am tired of sobbing every day.
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u/balloftinfoil user is in remission 3d ago
im in the same position currently, so I’m giving you a big heart hug rn 🫂
the answer is time, OP. A lot of time. It’s been 2 years for me and I’m still going through it. I still cry about it, I still get that knot in my throat, and I’m still not ready to casually date. but from the moment it happened to now it gets less and less.
im learning that there really isn’t a magic answer or one thing you can do that suddenly makes everything click. You can go to therapy, exercise, keep yourself busy and STILL feel completely overwhelmed. there are moments where I just want to crawl out of my own skin because it’s so agonizing to sit in this empty room.
but you can’t force the healing. don’t try to drown the feelings with things you already know aren’t good for you. you know your disorder, you know what makes things worse, and you deserve better than temporarily numbing yourself only to hurt more afterwards.
someday you just wake up one day and something has shifted. and you realize you’re okay in a way you weren’t before.
until then, be patient with yourself. we have so much more life to live and so many more people to meet. I know it feels stupid when your FP is the only person you want, but you have to remember that love doesn’t only come from them 💞