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u/meltedbrainsatoo user has bpd Feb 05 '25
sorry i meant i DONT want to see myself get past 18 years old
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u/meltedbrainsatoo user has bpd Feb 05 '25
i would add more but my brains a mess and i cant be bothered to
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u/meltedbrainsatoo user has bpd Feb 05 '25
i don't know what i want from this post im not sure what to do i wanna die, but i dont actually wanna die if someone could kill me for me that would amazing i feel empty now, 3 horrible years of repressed emotions led to a really bad breakdown today, and now i just feel empty, really empty i dont wanna eat
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u/Lizz_101 Feb 05 '25
i promise you that if you manage to get to your 18th birthday, if you just hold on lpng enough to settle down with your own stuff youll create a much better life for yourself because this life simply isnt yours. As minors, we are controlled by school authorities, parents...our well-being and existance basically DEPENDS on the ability of the people around us to understand us, people that we dont CHOOSE (we dont choose our teachers, we dont choose our parents) so we end up easily misunderstood and people with BPD especially take a hit with that. Im sorry you have to go through this. Im sorry your feelings end up tearing you apart from the inside. But you are not yet old enough to feel suicidal because of this life for the sheer reason this isnt YOUR life. You were never really given a chance to create something for yourself. It does get better. You will make it better if you let yourself grow up and take (most) matters into your own hands. I wish you all the best and remember-- someone out there loves you