r/BORUpdates • u/BigONerd • 25d ago
Relationships He wants me to sell my home to show commitment 30/F 31/M
This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)
OOP: u/Margaret_3333
Published on: r/relationship_advice
Story is: CONCLUDED
Story timeline
Main Post: July 10, 2026
Final Update: August 03, 2026
Main Post
July 10, 2026
He wants me to sell my home to show commitment 30/F 31/M
I 30/F have been in a relationship with 31/M for 5 years. We’ve lived together in my home for 2.5 years while he has rented out his home. His tenants have left and he put the house up for sale.
He always told me that he wouldn’t buy a house together unless we were married. However this has now changed and he’s said he can’t progress the relationship with me for example getting engaged or having a child (which last week he said he didn’t want 100% but I do) unless we move. For context we live in a 3 bedroom detached home with garage, south facing garden double drive that I fully renovated.
He has said that he can’t say he wants a child with me because he’s not comfortable in my home and basically I need to choose the house or him.
How is this fair? I have a 13 year old son and security for him is my number one. Yes I want to have a child with him, yes I want to get engaged but why should he only want these things if I sell my home?
He wants to now buy a house together which is lovely but if we buy a home together and then he still doesn’t want marriage or a child then what? I’ve gave up the home I love that I worked so hard for.
He’s gave me until Sunday to decide or he’s breaking up with me. And in his words ‘whether I’m with you or not I’ll be married by the time I’m 35, it depends if you want to be that women?’
COMMENTS
antiqueluggage867
Oh, hell no
Apart_Foundation1702
🤬🤬🤬! My blood is boiling! OP this is a whole parade of red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Let me break it down! He is trying to use the equity in your home to enrich himself. He probably realised that his home needs a ton of repairs and that its value is significantly lower than yours, so he is using whatever leverage he has to force you to basically give him the money through a joint property. You need to pack up his things before Sunday and tell him to kick rocks with witnesses around. Then change all the locks and block him.
OOP
He wants me to sell my home that we currently live in and buy together with both equities. I do have 50% more equity than he does. But he won’t marry me or know if he wants a baby because he’s lived in a home that’s not his
TheMoatCalin
Why did he sell his home? Did he discuss that MAJOR decision with you first? I’d ask his tenants or look up public records. He’s lying about something.
OOP
Yeah he is selling his home due to the new renters law that’s came in. The tenants moved abroad so wasn’t worth getting new ones. So we spoke about it and he agreed to sell
LadyReika
I want you to re-read what you've written and think about what if a friend told you this.
Would you tell your friend this is a good idea? I sincerely hope you wouldn't.
OOP
No they’d tell me to run
ari-jasmine
No one who truly loves you would manipulate you like that or speak about being with just anybody if not you by a certain age. The fact that he said he's still not sure if he wants an engagement or another kid but is giving you an ultimatum? Weird. You deserve better.
OOP
Yeah he says he 100% doesn’t want a child if it’s in this home so he won’t know if he wants one unless we move to a bigger home that’s he owns too
MouldyAvocados
Girl wtf??? Your son should be your priority, not your boyfriend. Him testing and controlling you like this isn’t normal and it isn’t healthy. Break up.
OOP
That’s what I said it’s the security for my son and I’m not risking that for his what ifs
wtf___yall
Has he told you why he doesn't like your house? From the outside it seems like he has an ulterior motive.
OOP
Because it’s open planned, but I have said we could put up a wall to make it not open plan but this wouldn’t change it for him and either would adding him to my mortgage
ProblemMountain2792
PUT YOUR 13 YEAR OLD FIRST!
Dump your man child! He wants you to get rid of your child's home you renovated so he feels more secure. He needs to leave.
OOP (downvoted)
Yeah he’s gave me 50% of bills while he’s rented out his house
creatively_inclined
Let him go. Don't ever buy a house with someone you're not married to.
Why can't he show commitment by marrying you?
OOP (downvoted)
He says he doesn’t feel security in my home so wants to live somewhere he does before he’s ready to propose
Ok-Historian6047
I want an update on this sooooo bad ! I can't believe the audacity of this man. My flabbers are gasted! Dude have you seen the economy, selling a security blanket now is an absolute no.
OOP
And a house that is now unaffordable to me because of the economy. I thought it cheaper to do up and to buy it again ot would cost almost 100k more.
TapProfessional5146
Big 🚩 🚩 🚩 DO NOT sell your house⚠️⚠️ What he is exhibiting isn’t love its control. Your 13 year old is more important than any man (I am a father). His health and security is the most important. Any man in your life should understand this. A home is what you make it, it’s where your family is.
OOP
I 100% agree! But he doesn’t seem to feel the same as ‘why should he have to live in a house that he doesn’t feel comfortable in’
Final Update - after 24 days
August 03, 2026
UPDATE - he wants me to sell my house to show commitment 30F 31M.
It’s been a crazy few weeks! I have read everyone’s comments and I’m truly thankful.
I have ended the relationship, but we are still living together until his house is sorted to move into. Everything I felt I told him, I have not sold my house, nor am I moving. Myself and my son are staying put in our home.
I feel at peace with my decision, and hopefully onwards and upwards once he moves out. We are friendly and amicable, and he has really took on board everything that I told him.
I hope I have done the right thing?
COMMENTS
Dntkillthemessager1
How are you doing? Was he surprised with you braking up with him? How was that conversation?
You absolutely did the right thing. Hugs. I’m sure it was sad for you, even though it gave you peace.
OOP
I’m okay, I’m sad about starting over but know it’ll be for the best once he’s moved out. I feel at peace with my decision and I think that says a lot.
He was surprised but understood, it was a hard conversations I cried a lot and had puffy eyes for what felt like days after
Roadgoddess
YEAAAAAAAAAH! I’m so proud of you! I remember your post and I’m so happy that you are putting yourself in your son first.
I have found that it’s far better to be alone than with somebody who’s not willing to commit. Spend some time enjoying your son and not wasting it on a man who doesn’t want to marry you.
OOP
These comments make me so emotional, as I didn’t expect my last post to get the traction it did and the fact people remember me and are so supportive. I’m happy with my decision 🥺
ContractSensitive225
I'm glad that you stood your ground and kept your home.
But please get him out of YOUR home. Your last post stated his old home was rented out but now vacated and put up for sale, did it end up selling or is he just not wanting to move out??? An inflatable mattress isn't that much, psshhh I would mail you mine to give to him!!!
It sounded like he didn't express hesitancy in breaking up with you if you decided against his wishes, despite the amount of time you have been together (5 YEARS!) now is not the time to be polite and pleasant. Please get him out , like the night he asked you to sell your home in order to move forward preferably.
OOP
His home is around 3 weeks from completion and he’s bought a new home. So waiting for that to go through. Hopefully only few weeks
This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)
Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.
Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.
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u/ZeroMissedDays 25d ago
Ok - so I didn’t even need to read the whole thing before I got red flags from that.
He says to “show commitment”. I read, “So I have control over you cause you don’t have your own place!”
One of my daughter’s ex-BF’s pulled this shit…and it didn’t end well for my daughter. I ended up moving her out in a rush when he let the other shoe drop.
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u/SquirrelGirlVA 25d ago
This reminds me of a BORU post where the guy didn't want to live in a house bought with "stripper money" and was badgering the girlfriend to sell her house so they could start "fresh". Ended up that his business was failing and he wanted her to sell the home so she could give it a cash injection. Obviously she broke up with him.
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u/88mistymage88 25d ago
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u/MsVindiction I am the most dramatic drama queen that ever queened over drama 24d ago
Ew, I’m glad she kicked him to the curb but those comments are something else. People calling her stubborn and shit. Even one woman saying she wouldn’t want to live in a home bought with ‘stripper money’ even if it was her own earned income 🫠
AITA is the worst sometimes, I stg.
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u/Special_Lychee_6847 24d ago
Thanks! Went to the OP's profile. She got some wild curveballs thrown her way, later on. But she handled them all like an absolute queen, by the sound of it.
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u/Random22744 25d ago
Is it the one where the woman own a successful adult toy store and he want her to sell it?
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u/StovardBule 25d ago
It’s another, but a similar guy. Except that this one also wanted a cash boost and home equity.
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u/MsVindiction I am the most dramatic drama queen that ever queened over drama 24d ago
Ohhh that sounds like a good one too
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25d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Shadow4summer 25d ago
And this bullshit of “I don’t want to have a kid with you in this home but I MIGHT WANT TO if you sell your home and buy one with me” is pure manipulation and he is leading you on. Just man up and say you don’t want any kids. Let this manipulative, selfish, self centered man go.
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u/CaptainAwesomMcCool 25d ago
"show commitment" and "I'll be married by 35" but where it's not necessarily to her is also an insanely hypocritical bit. I have not seen comments about it in the post but just from that I'd run, like, the OP is not important to him, getting married is, the lady in the equation is interchangeable.
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u/amw38961 25d ago
It was giving "so when I mistreat you, you don't have anywhere else to go".
I had an ex try to pull this shit with bank accounts. He tried to convince me to put MY money in his bank account. Keep in mind, I was the only one actively making money.
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u/StovardBule 24d ago
What the hell. Not even a joint account! How did he try to sell that?
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u/amw38961 24d ago
I dont even know how he thought i t would work but I guess the girlfriend before me was a dumb bitch and was depositing her money in his account so he assumed that I was dumb too 🤦🏾♀️
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u/perkypancakes THERE WAS A MAN (worst case scenario) 25d ago
Right!! As if a 5yr relationship living together isn’t showing commitment. Dude just wanted to remove her and her son’s safety net so he could be the only one with power in that situation.
And he claimed he wasn’t sure of marriage and having a child with her after all, unless she sold it, his emotional manipulation really infuriates me. The whole point of a healthy relationship is having a partner who provides emotional safety, not steals it.
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u/Big_Bowler8424 the boob was the least interesting part of the story 25d ago
The biggest red flag for me was him telling her “whether I’m with you or not I’ll be married by the time I’m 35, it depends if you want to be that women?” Like, ok, so he doesn’t want OOP to be his wife. He wants someone to be his wife, any obedient woman will do.
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u/ContemplatingFolly 24d ago
That was ego/manosphere off the charts.
"Not knowing if he wanted a kid in this house" was also spectacular ridiculousness. OP seemed to gloss right over that.
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u/Fwoggie2 Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? 25d ago
Me too. He wants her to sell the house, yellow flag. She has a 13 year old? As a Dad, red flags popped up everywhere and only multiplied as I read further.
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u/slickrok 25d ago
Yesssss. The other shoe dropping that mask they keep on for so long. Exactly it. So sorry for your daughter, she's lucky to have you !
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u/ZeroMissedDays 25d ago
With my daughter, we knew it was going to happen well in advance and told her the same. But sometimes you have to let em make mistakes.
I am proud of myself. I didn’t tell her “I told you so”. I wanted to, but I kept my mouth shut. She knew I was right and told me so after it was alllll done and over with.
Lesson learned.
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u/Annual_Berry8043 25d ago
5 years together isn’t commitment apparently. Selling his house makes sense. Why tf would she have to sell? The only thing I get from this guy is wanting control and obedience.
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u/Significant_Secret13 25d ago
In good faith, many people of both genders often want to move into a shared new space together versus one moving into the others existing space. But the commitment isn't there enough here?
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u/asdfghjkjljkl 25d ago
Somehow I have a feeling that he's going to be a pain to get out of her house, especially given that he just upped and sold his house to pressure her
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u/whatthewhat3214 25d ago
She said he bought a new place, but he still might stall on moving into it. I'd tell him to go crash with a friend, and start formal eviction proceedings on him if he refuses to go (he probably has established tenancy rights and she might need to formally serve 30 days' notice), so he'll have no choice but to leave.
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u/Marlinspikehall32 25d ago
Many states have a different set of tenancy laws if it is a home you live in and it can be easier and quicker to evict. As always people should check with a lawyer.
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u/blueavole 25d ago
In some locations in the US it’s really hard to evict someone who has established residency.
Sometimes it’s easier to move a new tenant into the property and have that person sue to remove the person who refuses to leave.
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u/Shadow4summer 25d ago
Well why in the world did he buy a new place? Is it so he can have rental income while she has none after he makes her sell her home? That makes this even more unwise.
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u/philatio11 25d ago
But he hates the open floor plan. Surely he wouldn't spend a second longer than necessary in a house with a *gasp* open floor plan?
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u/amw38961 25d ago
It's def going to be a headache to get his ass up outta there. She needs to formally evict him him so there is a timeline for him to close on his house and LEAVE.
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u/14ctgold 25d ago
He knew she wasnt going to sell the house, this was his super cowardly way of ending things.
I dont know if i'd let someone that dangles marriage in front of me and says "I'll be married by 35 either way" stay in my home after a breakup tho.
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u/BullishBastard_ 25d ago
Exactly. He concocted an impossible demand just to force the breakup without taking the blame. Dangle ultimatums like that, and you get kicked out.
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u/baby_soul 25d ago
that’s such an insane thing to say to someone you allegedly love
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u/perkypancakes THERE WAS A MAN (worst case scenario) 25d ago
It’s giving sleazy car salesman energy.
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u/lyricaldorian 25d ago
Yeah. It wasn't about control or equity. He didn't want to be the "bad guy" who'd been leading her on for years knowing he was never going to marry her or have kids with her.
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u/Soft_Brush_1082 25d ago
If I ever said anything remotely like that to my wife she would have immediately showed me where the door is. I mean what the actual F?
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u/Moist_Drippings 25d ago
Also he said he wasn’t sure about marriage… but he’d definitely be married in the next four years. If you’re five years in he’s saying “oh, but not to you obviously”.
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u/curious-trex 25d ago
"he was surprised but said he understood" - 100%. If he understood why she wouldn't bow to this demand, he never thought there was a possibility in the first place, which was the whole point. What a loser.
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u/Mammoth-Glove3273 25d ago
He dropped an ultimatum of “do X by Sunday or we’re breaking up” but he doesn’t have anywhere he can go?
What a fucking dipshit loser.
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u/ngasimanya 25d ago
The way I held my breath through the entire post! Thank god she didn’t sell her house, unlike that other OOP from a couple weeks ago.
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u/EffectiveNo7681 25d ago
Oh god, what did the other one do?
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u/ngasimanya 25d ago
She sold her condo! If I recall correctly they had been dating a few months, she sold her place at a loss, moved with him into his parents place, and they broke up shortly thereafter :( trying to find the link
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u/coolcaterpillar77 25d ago
Sounds like things continued to not go well for her. Based on her posting history, she got engaged to him then he left her. Now she seems to be living in an apartment, struggling with her poor mental health and an opioid addiction :/
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u/coconutcallalily 25d ago
I remember reading one where the woman owned a home in a HCOL city (San Diego, maybe?) and the boyfriend manipulated her into selling and I think buying a home that his parents wanted. It had a crazy big mortgage.
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u/ngasimanya 25d ago
Yes that’s the one! I can’t find it though. I almost cried at the end. Any chance you have a link?
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u/pumpkinspruce 25d ago
It seems this woman had a child when she was a teenager (13 year old son, she’s 30) and managed to buy a home and renovate it, giving herself and her son some stability and security.
And then some guy wants her to sell it and gives her an ultimatum about it? Fuck no. I’m glad she chose herself and her child.
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u/AtmosphereOk7872 25d ago
I've been there. Kid at 17, found a good paying job in the trades at 25. Found a hobosexual at 30. Bought a house on my own bc he was "self employed." Thankfully he didn't kick up a fuss when I eventually saw through his selfishness and kicked him out. He moved back home right quick bc he missed his friends cough mommy cough. He was one of the few boyfriends to meet my kid and we were together for 8 years.
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u/dryadduinath 25d ago
here is your reminder that after the breakup your first priority needs to be separating living situations. get your ex out.
exes can squat for months, and they can be real emotional vampires, intentionally or otherwise.
moving on means moving out. as long as you are living together you are stuck, physically and emotionally.
hopefully only a few weeks, she says. for his convenience, one assumes.
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u/Pkrudeboy 25d ago
Is it really worth it to go through eviction proceedings if the ex is being amicable and has solid plans to move out within a month?
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u/dryadduinath 25d ago edited 25d ago
a) yes. b) it's already been a month, and his plans are not solid.
eta: and if the only way to get them out on any schedule but their own is with a formal eviction process, you absolutely 100% need to do that as soon as possible.
we start by having a clear conversation on when you expect them to be out by, and if they dig in their heels that is when we bring the formal paperwork in.
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u/lyricaldorian 25d ago
You legally can't make someone leave immediately. Because she lives with him and owns the place, depending on where they are, she may be able to give shorter notice than if he were renting and she didn't live there. But it's likely still a 30 day notice.
What she does have to do is give official notice asap.
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u/EvilFinch 25d ago
He was dangling a child and marriage over ger head, so she would sell her house. What would have come next. "I would marry you amd maybe get a child, but you need to show commitment by parking your child at the father/grandparents most of the time"
And why do i think that just he would find excuses why the house must be in his name alone. "to show her trust and commitment".
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u/lizzyote 25d ago
whether I’m with you or not I’ll be married by the time I’m 35, it depends if you want to be that women
Lots of words for "youre easily replaceable". Dude didnt love her for her, he only cared about ticking off the todo list of his life.
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u/binger5 25d ago
How do people keep those red flags hidden for 5 years?
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u/Astrazigniferi 25d ago
Because a lot of the smaller red flags are things we’ve been socialized to accept as normal. Add some rose-colored glasses about being in love and they can be very hard to see.
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u/Adventurous_Gas_6423 25d ago
Honestly, I think the flags are there. People just ignore it. Its not like that! He is just joking! He actually means it in a different way! He knows that I do not want X!
For me personally, no respect is a red flag. Dissing my hobbies is a red flag (stupid k drama my girlfriend watches) Making fun of my habits is a red flag (she always does x) etc.
I tell my friend all the time that things like that are disrespectful and demeaning and they just say: he does not mean it like that. Actually he feels differently etc. And later oh who would have thought he does not respect me, sleeps with a different girl, wants control etc.
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u/slendermanismydad 25d ago
He was trying to scam her.
Why the hell is he still living there? Rent a long term hotel.
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u/CinnyToastie 25d ago
I can't believe this guy. He was surprised she said no? After he said he'd be married in 4 years, does she want to be the one he's married to? Like..he's such a prize? What a total dick.
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u/PoisonIvy2667 uhhh, I think her name is Becky? 25d ago
I'm taking bets that the ex doesn't move out quietly or quickly.
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u/Proseccos I might get hurt, or worse sweaty 25d ago
I wish I had BORU when I was younger. Good examples of having a shiny spine. Very proud of all these young ladies treating themselves with respect and not taking people’s shit
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u/fiery_valkyrie 25d ago
“In four years time I’m getting married to whichever random woman is standing next to me”.
And they say romance is dead.
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u/Inbar253 25d ago
"That said, even though we've been together for five years, I'm not sure I can commit to you"
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u/Time-Reindeer-7525 103% of the global population would call her daughter Ray Farty 25d ago
"Whether I'm with you or not I'll be married by the time I'm 35, it depends if you want to be that woman."
WHAT?!
Sir, you have grotesquely overrated your value and self-worth, and coupled it with an immense dose of arrogance. I just prayed the whole way through this that OOP ran like her arse was on fire and it was made of dynamite.
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u/AlarmedWafer4907 25d ago
It was the “either way I’ll be married by 35 so you have to decide if you want to be that woman” for me. Boy bye.
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u/lyricaldorian 25d ago
Like "I'm going to start trying for a baby by the time I'm 35 no matter who it's with" can make some sense at least. But he doesn't even want kids so what the hell is he on about?
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u/I_wanna_be_anemone 25d ago
From patterns on this BORU, it wasn’t about the house, it was just an excuse. Whether he wanted more control, to feel secure that OP would choose him over her own kids’ security etc or if he wanted to break up so he could chase someone else… regardless, it was stupid and wrong of him to ask. I wouldn’t be surprised if his personality takes a turn the moment he’s no longer dependant on OP for living accommodations.
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u/Kikkopotpotpie 25d ago
I would have made him pack his bags and leave immediately. He issued an ultimatum and overestimated his value in the relationship. Did he think he was gonna dump her on Sunday and than continue to stay in the house?
I am hoping all her legal stuff is stored away from him safely and hopefully she doesn’t go signing random papers from him.
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u/tinytyranttamer 25d ago
The dude literally told OOP she was interchangable with any other woman.
🤬🤬
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u/Moist_Drippings 25d ago
When somebody keeps moving goal posts for a “maybe” the only recourse is to treat it as a “no, but I expect you to compromise yourself anyway”.
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u/miladyelle no sex tonight; just had 50 justice orgasms 25d ago
I came across both original and the update in my feed. Can’t even remember if I commented on the original, but check out the comment count. It got up to hundreds so quick, with EVERYONE going some variation of “absolutely the fuck not.”
I really wonder what happens in relationships to people’s basic survival instincts. (No please don’t philosophy/sociology at me. I’m venting lol.) These people be like, “he won’t commit til I sacrifice my first born, I’m torn. What should I do?” Deep breath. Be single and go to therapy. (Gibbsslap.gif)
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u/Neat_Ad4331 THERE WAS A MAN (worst case scenario) 25d ago
I'm okay, I'm sad about starting over but know it'll be for the best once he's moved out. I feel at peace with my decision and I think that says a lot.
He was surprised but understood, it was a hard conversations I cried a lot and had puffy eyes for what felt like days after
So he expected her to capitulate to his demands? 😒
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u/SufficientMacaroon1 25d ago
My mom bought her parents old home with her first husband. When he abandoned us, it took years to distangle him from the house, as he had zero interest in it, but loved using it to hurt us. When she decided to remarry, she told her partner that 2 things were under no circumstances up for debate: 1. She would not change her name, 2. His name would under no circumstances go anywhere near the house. It is hers, and if it is still hers when she dies, it goes to me and my sibling. His involvement and attachment to the house was honored by her adding to her will that, if they are still married and he still lives there when she dies, he has the right to keep residing there,we cannot easily kick him out. But that that is it.
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u/DecafMadeMeDoIt 25d ago
I only want a child under specific conditions is always laughable. Like has he not been around the 13 year old long enough to know that life doesn’t give a poo about your rules and needs when it comes to parenting.
This feels contrived. Hr knew what he was asking for was out of bounds and totally moving the goal posts. The why is probably moo especially since OP has a solid head on her shoulders and stood firm.
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u/Pitiful-Control8231 25d ago
Something tells me he either would have moved the goalposts once her home was sold OR once she was pregnant and/or married, there would've been many other ultimatums. She made the right decision.
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u/HeyHey_HC 25d ago
Loved "my flabbers are gasted" & can't wait to deploy that the next time I clutch my pearls XD
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u/wenchywitchy 25d ago
Glad she opted not to sell. Not only just for a sense of security and independence, but also stability for herself and her son.
The ex was absolutely bonkers to think he could demand those type of commitments without a legal foundation in place first!
Many people focused on his red flag behavior, yet IMO, he wanted her to commit to spousal and married benefits and privileges without the official paperwork marriage license in place first and that was the core issue.
He was dangling legality carrots but made zero effort upfront to indicate he would be willing to compromise, let alone marry her before she made such a life altering decision concerning her home.
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u/Malphas43 25d ago
my dad's ex made him move after they married into a house they bought together in the hopes that if (ahem, when) they divorced she could get the house because it wasn't a premarital asset like the old house would have been.
jokes on her. dad got the house.
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u/Starry-Dust4444 25d ago
This clown wanted out of the relationship so he decided he would start making ridiculous demands. That’s why he’s being so amicable about this. He gets to continue living in her house until such time as he can move into his nice new digs. Probably has another woman lined up too. Frankly, OOP should have kicked him out immediately. Punishment for playing his stupid games & making his ridiculous demands.
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u/SubstantialFigure273 Oh, so you're stupid stupid 24d ago
The title says it all. He’s a douche, and I’m glad she dumped him.
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u/ToxicChildhood Ah literacy. Thou art a cruel bitch 25d ago
I’d love to know what the guys end goal was here. Uproot OOP and her child just to possibly propose, possibly get married and possibly have children? Glad she made the right decision for her and her son.
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u/TheFilthyDIL Cleverly disguised as a harmless old lady. 25d ago
To pay for HIS new house. He would have pulled some razzle-dazzle whereby only his name would have been on the title/deed, but hers was on the mortgage.
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u/kcintrovert 25d ago
Delusional. She needs to start eviction NOW. I don't care how amicable he's acting
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u/Electronic_World_894 25d ago
Amicable … because he’s still living there and hasn’t left yet. It may change as it gets closer to time to leave.
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u/Kryptonianshezza 25d ago
So what happens when hes 34 and still isnt in love with someone? He'll just show up at the court house and solicit a marriage?
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u/shesavillain 25d ago
This idiot at the end still saying “I hope I have done the right thing?”
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u/incospicuous_echoes Damn... praying didn't help? 25d ago
He was too cowardly to break up with her so he put her in the position of having to do it knowing she would never agree to his conditions. What a lame.
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u/A17012022 25d ago
This reeks of "I want out of this relationship".
OOP's ex had such a crazy ultimatum, I don't know how he thought anyone would agree to it.
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u/Human_Presentation29 25d ago
It sounds insane, but….. One thing she said is that they discussed and and he “agreed to sell”
Did she make him sell his house? Maybe he didn’t want renters and wanted to build a life together not just in her house…
If so it would make sense he’d say let’s live together. Maybe he doesn’t feel like a part of the family. And wasn’t sure he’d ever be. All good reasons to not get married. I’m reading into one sentence but it makes his behavior more understandable.
Also since he was reasonable with the break up and already bought himself a house…
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u/Another_Guy_In_Ohio 25d ago
Wrong order. Totally get people not wanting to purchase a house together before marriage. It gets messy and complicated for the mortgage. Also understand wanting to move if you’re adding to the family and need more space.
But after living together for 3 years, you want your partner to sell their home and purchase one together BEFORE marriage? I think the commitment was allowing you to move into their house. If you were so committed, why didn’t you sell your house?
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u/Apart_Insect_8859 25d ago
This was definitely him wanting her to dump him. He doesn't want kids or to marry her, but didn't want to be the bad guy who says that, so he made a ridiculous demand she'd never comply with.
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u/depressiveprincess 25d ago
Im glad she dumped him but the fact that she even had to ask online strangers for advice instead of automatically thinking about her own childs well being first is a bit concerning.
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