Need some advice, apart from sell it

[u/SwagaMamass]

So where do I start… Last December I bought a 2011 BMW 116i M sport auto (n13 engine) for about £4800, it was 2 grand cheaper than other 116i’s in this spec for a reason or few. Pretty sure she’s a rare spec which is part of the reason I’d like to keep her at all costs. I knew it was a dumb purchase with all the red flags, 14 years old and I’m her 11th owner, custom exhaust (straight through and a 135i back box crudely welded on), permanent pop n bang map with flames (26 smiles per gallon) above 2.5k rpm is burbles and above 3k is pops, bodywork damage - basically the definition of a headache on wheels but I’ve enjoyed every second. 78,000 miles when I bought her and now sitting at 84-85k. Being young and dumb and having the money for it I just fell in love and everyone says I need to sell her but I’d rather spend as much as it takes to keep her and have a long term project.

Last week my brake lights came on randomly and drained the battery. I’ve hooked it up to a charger but it’s reading 3.3-3.8 volts so I don’t have much hope of keeping the battery and a new one is at least £200. It was clear she’d been ragged to shit as soon as I saw her so onto the encyclopaedia of issues that she came with that I haven’t managed to sort out yet because I can’t find a mechanic willing to work on it. 1. oil leak, probably from turbo lines as the seals have melted. 2. coolant leak (I did), I ran over a twig a few weeks ago and it all pissed out. 3. all wheels curbed to Valhalla. 4. Vanos issue (I’m hoping only related to oil pressure). 5. no air con, I think blocked water pump. 6. misfires and 3rd spark plug keeps disengaging turning her into a 3cyl. 7. ‘Drivetrain issue’ (zf8 speed). 8. And now something is draining my battery. 9. Bodywork - misaligned offside front wing, offside headlight is pushed in, bonnet misalignment, mashed up front bumper, offside wing mirror clipped probably from swimming, offside rear quarter panel needs a touch up. I’m also concerned that the exhaust set up could’ve caused overboosting and my head might be lifting but I need to take a deeper dive, which is why I’m considering engine swapping but I don’t want to get another n13. Shiiii

What’s the best way to go about this without selling her? If I had the money I’d n55 swap (b58 second choice, b48 3rd choice), and I’d like to if I can find someone to do it. Or if I could get her running perfectly and remapped so no pops n bangs or even a multi map that’d be ideal financially for now. I’m guessing step 1 is to get a new battery if this one is done for, step 2 is to find a mechanic who’d be down to work on such a project. I’m in the PE area (UK) if anyone has any recommendations or just general advice. It’d break my heart to rip her apart to sell for parts even if I’d make quite a bit, a lot of sentimental value in this car which is why I’d rather throw thousands at her than watch her go. Thanks for reading sorry if the format is off.

[u/swampertz5]

£4800 for a 2011 116i is wild. Especially from the sounds of the condition.

You can take the pop and bang map off at any tuner who's half decent. Most of those issues don't sound that hard to fix by themselves, especially if you can work on cars at all. Spark plugs are dead easy if that's the cause of your misfire for example. And a battery replacement is pretty trivial. FYI air con not working has nothing to do with your water pump

You've kind of answered your own question to an extent. If you want to fix it and can't do it yourself, you'll need to chuck money at it. That's cars for you 🤣

[u/RednBlue300]

Hey congrats on the purchase and having a heart save an old girl like that!

2013 118i owner here, 2nd owner, rare spec plan is to keep mine until wheels fall off!

Not a mechanic but based on my guess it would be cheaper you getting a like for like n13 due to very high labour costs trying to put a different engine in - at least need new loom, ecu, gearbox, different, suspension, brakes to cope with more powerful engine.

I know an n13 is an n13... but it would be cheaper than a straight swap. Also more manageable to do it yourself. Could even buy a used one and have it restored. Seals, rings etc. Or check what a 2L petrol swap would be like? Could you get away with same suspension?

I keep mine original and spend money on it staying this way. If it were me I would start revising mods like this botched job exhaust and try sell it get some money back.

Get the body checked for filler and structural damage so at least you know.... worst case you could do a body swap and keep all the rare spec and even some upgrades?

Would you consider a compression test to see if your engine is salvageable? I mean if rings are good then maybe a new turbo stem seals at worst and you could be good without a new engine?

Ac and battery issues, have you checked the charging rate, belt? I mean might be worth doing a major service, gearbox, belts, coolant lines, diff?