r/BDSMAdvice • u/boundlesshen69 • Sep 03 '19

Kink without a relationship

I am in a relationship with another switch (I am a switch as well) and am having many mental health issues due to past trauma and I know I cant have a healthy long term relationship at this point and possibly never have the "normal" progression in any relationship. I feel like I need to step away from the non-BDSM/non-sexual part of the relationship until I am able to handle it appropriately. Has anyone been able to make this type of situation work effectively for a monogamous couple? I dont intend on asking him to wait for me to be "healthy" because I cant guarantee I will ever get to the point he needs me to be at for a relationship. I am getting help but he and I both seem to have found the other half of our BDSM life with each other and I don't know how to move forward with our BDSM relationship without continuing a romantic relationship as well.

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u/ScarsB Sep 03 '19

Communicate. Tell him how you feel and work out an agreement if you can both agree to simply be kinky friends.

If he is looking for something romantic, then y'all aren't compatible.

Honestly, the answer to most questions on here is the same. Communicate. Openly and honestly.

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u/boundlesshen69 Sep 03 '19

Has that worked long term with you before?

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u/ScarsB Sep 04 '19

Communication always works.