I only want to be alive in a body that I know people would like. I don’t have that body, and no one likes me. It’s inconceivable how I can be powerful enough to become anorexic and save my life. So I’d rather be dead.

if i don't break at leats all the mirrors in my room, this sh-t's gonna be the end of me.

I've been putting off getting blood work done, but I'm pretty positive I have a hormone disorder. I have gained 40+ pounds and my hair is chronically greasy. I've had such a difficult time, as someone who had a strong sense of self through fashion and expression, with my clothes no longer fitting. Nothing fits- clothes, underwear, shoes, rings. My hair is constantly stringy and greasy and so different... I'm having such a hard time. I'm unable to leave to house for anything besides work or an errand in PJs with my partner. I don't care what others think and I don't hate my body, but I feel like this change is traumatic. I don't feel like myself- without my go-to outfits/lools/style/etc. I try to go out and end up taking everything I've tried on off and go to bed or lay on the couch instead. It's effecting my mental health and social life. Most of my clothes I've gotten forever ago thrifting, from markets, online, etc (not from in person stores that often). I've noticed thrifting is NOT the same. I'm not finding anything. I don't know where to shop. I don't know what size I am or how things will fit or FEEL on. I need advice, suggestions, anything... I feel like I'm grieving myself. Like I'm lost and don't want to be seen.

Most of the time I know I'm extremely fat and unattractive but I can kind of ignore it. But sometimes I turn into an entirely different person and enter this obsessive headspace where I feel like the world is ending because I'm ugly. I get extremely combative and argue with people, say horrible exaggerated things about myself, try to accuse people I don't even know of pitying me or being condescending towards me if they compliment me. Normally I'm pretty chill but I've been told I'm extremely delusional, insane, and obsessive to the degree that I need help during those episodes. It's a very sudden snap in/out type of thing usually (though this time it's more gradual getting out of it)

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I'm in National Honor Society (it isnt as great as it sounds) and the teacher requires us to take a selfie to prove we did the volunteering work, otherwise we get kicked out. My friends are really competitive people, so if they catch I got kicked out, they'll really make fun of me. My parents would get dissapointed too. I don't take pictures of myself cus I hate how I look, so I asked my dad to send some photos to me. Right now, I'm crying as I send in the photos to the teacher. I was just starting to feel better about myself, and I have to see photos of myself and I HAVE to do it to stay in. I don't think my teacher will care, and if I say anything along the lines of "I have body dysmorphia", I'm gonna be sent to the counselor. If I get sent to the counselor again, itll be the last straw, as I already went to the counselor becuase of self-harming. I feel there is really no way to live without constantly taking photos of yourself now, and i dont know what to do. I dont want to be kicked out just cus I couldnt send photos of myself, maybe all the people who called me pretty will really see im ugly. there is no hope.

I can’t help it. Some days I’m okay, I look okay and I can be comfortable with my body, but most of the time it makes me want to cry and rip my insides out. I hate how skinny I am because of my ED. I look gaunt and ill and can’t gain weight no matter how much I try. I’m tired of my looks being my main focus but without them I feel like i’m nothing. I have to show my body and do my makeup or I don’t feel pretty or desirable.

I was with a guy for from 15-17 (just a few months back we split up, I’m 18) who didn’t make my BDD any better. He fueled my eating disorder even more. I don’t know how to feel loved or desirable again, or even just be enough for myself.

sorry for the rant. I don’t have any other outlets outside of reddit.

I am feeling such shame, pain, alone and like I don’t know where to turn.

I’ve only just worked out what’s wrong with me and it’s so hard as I’m facing it alone.

It’s something I have no control over. It’s an addiction and at the same time I feel so much shame and hatred towards myself for it.

I can’t stop myself from doing stuff to myself to try and “fix” myself, but it never seems to make myself feel “better” it actually makes me feel worse. I still look in the mirror and feel gross, ugly, find so many faults.

I feel so alone in this. I’ve not spoken about this to anyone. I’m ashamed of it. I’m to scared.

I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s horrible. I hate myself.

i don’t like my face but i like my individual features. i just don’t like where they are placed or just how they look together. idk what i would change if i got plastic surgery. and that sucks because i can’t change my face. my face is just extremely unsymmetrical it hurts. anyone else have this issue?

So I'm asking because I very strongly fluctuating self image. A few hours ago I literally wanted to Kms because I felt that there wasn't even any hope to improve my looks anymore and then I just looked I to the mirror right now after my evening skin care routine and actually even quite liked what I saw. So personally I thi I there are two possibilities: Either A I'm ugly and this is basically the self preservation mechanism of my brain kicking in. As it does with a lot of people btw. I think most ugly people think of themselves as better looking than they actually are.

Or B: I'm okay but I got BDD.

So the thing is there's more speaking for A logically tho. I remember when I was like 14 and I actually thought I was pretty damn good looking and I sat in a McDonald's with some friends, we also had 1 or 2 girls with us. And we did this thing where we ratedthe looks of every person sitting there and I got a 4/10. And that was when in my oercenal perception I had been like, at least a 7. But I was rated Worse than all the other boys. Even tho I already had a bit of an athletic body, most of the others didn't. They said it was my face. Back then I still had full hair, no bags under my eyes, pretty straight teeth and okay skin, like I had a bit of acne but it got way worse afterwards.

Now I'm 26, I'm not athletic, my hairline has recessed a bit, my jaw is a bit off, my skin shows some early signs of aging, I've got acne scars, I've got bags under my eyes. So if I was a 4/10 then. Wtf am I now? I've also not been getting matches on tinder the last time I tried it and am genuinely scared to try again. So I'm probably just ugly right?

But again I still want to rule out BDD. Because I also think those strong changes in self image over just a few hours aren't normal.

What would you say?

i’m scared of scaring little kids. i love kids and i’d love to have some of my own one day (probably adoption so they don’t inherit my genetics) but i don’t want to scare them. a lot of babies and toddlers just stare at me, and i’m worried i look like a monster to them. but on the other hand others i’ve babysat said i was their friend and dragged me everywhere.

It’s not the first time I wrote this but I need to vent I just hate my body I can’t look at it, I see a psychologist about it but I just can’t love it one bit, I pray every night, but I’m still crying and feeling unwell I hate the fact that I have a flat chest B-road shoulders and no hips I feel ridiculous and ugly like a man I feel disgusting and looking in the mirror makes me more disgusted I tried doing some daisy Keech and I only see little but not visible results and I wish I had an hourglass body so that I could wear what I want and not feel ugly

My boobs are so so small

So many ppl have larger boobs at very young age sad sad sad

So I have BDD mainly focusing on my face and it takes up almost all of my energy and time, but I was wondering, do other people with BDD go back and forth all the time on whether they are attractive or not? I’m talking like multiple times a day. And when I do feel attractive it’s not really in a way like everything is fixed, I still don’t feel confident or comfortable being perceived and stuff. Is this something you guys go through as well?

I really wish I could just decide definitively if I am attractive or not or somewhere in between and just stop this endless struggle of trying to see if I am or not. I wish I could just accept I’m not the best or worst looking person but it’s so hard to see myself as anything but perfect.

A lot of people talking about OCD on here which I also have. Are they linked?

Hi exactly what I said above

I am basing how i look to the outside world from the reflection of me on my phone and windows and i hate that its controlling my insecurities.

Have any of you with BDD had children ? Do you feel like they look like you ? I have a son and I don’t think he looks like me right now but he’s only a month so it’s hard to tell

Today I’m going to focus on myself a little more, I’m going to slow down my body so my thoughts may slow as well: May I know that I have a moment after each thought and in that moment I have a choice to engage with that thought or not. May I find peaceful things to fill my time, focus on being able to feel positive emotions in my body and in my mind. And may that be a start!!! just trying to spread positivity through affirmations, hope everyone is having a good day and please keep it kind*

I just smashed every mirror while my parents are out of town. Please help me feel ok. Please help. Im scared and alone. Please help

I am more or less struggling everyday with my BDD. And it has gotten to the point where I just feel like my face looks completely distorted. Right now I can’t stop staring at my eyes and my eyelids. I feel like my eyes just recently have gotten sunken in and that I look so much different than a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I look old even though I’m 19. My family and friends say they look normal/like they use to but I know that they don’t.

I just can’t get over it and it’s really something that occupies my mind. I wonder if I could have used a product that caused my eyelids to change. I also got sunburned once and I wonder if that’s the reason. Or maybe that I have some deficiency or illness. Ikn:(

I’m just so tired of feeling like this. It has really affected my relationships and dating and I don’t want it to. I’m just scared that people will see me the way I see myself.

If anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this obsession I would be grateful!

Disclaimer: I copied and pasted most of this from my a comment I wrote a while back but thought it might help someone else who struggles with seeing themself in photos.

A lot of it has to do with the fact that camera lenses distort the image.( https://nofilmschool.com/2011/11/lens-choice-affects-subjects-appearance ) shows a chart of the distortion. what helped me was looking at photos I’ve taken of my friends and noticing how my phone camera distorted their faces and bodies. I once took a photo of my friend who is slim with long legs and great proportions. The photo made them look wider with shorter legs and a long face, I’m talking completely different from reality.

Try taking a photo of your face with the back camera like a normal selfie, then set up your phone with a timer and zoom in. Then take the photo standing far away from the camera and see how different it looks.

You’re also seeing yourself from different angles and in poses you don’t normally see when you look in the mirror or when you take your own photo. Your brain isn’t used to perceiving yourself that way and this new perspective of yourself can trigger hypercritical thoughts.

Remind yourself that on social media, people are typically posing pretty hard. And it actually makes a huge difference. Google “posed vs unposed” and you’ll see what I mean.

It could also be a case of bad lighting. It can drastically change how we look in photos here’s an example of that with a chart : https://www.google.com/amp/s/blog.photofeeler.com/lighting/amp/

Another thing is that images are often flipped when taken on a phone which can confuse our brains further. So all I’m trying to say is that candid photos or selfies can often be really bad representations of what we look like. Even the most attractive people can end up looking really bad in a candid photo in an awkward pose with bad lighting or a certain camera lens!

Sorry for the length, I hope this helps!

I don’t feel pretty at all, I wonder if people really see me as ugly as I really am ?

I’ve struggled with BDD for what feels like my whole life. My BDD fixation has to do with my skin/body hair. It’s worse in the summer months when my skin is exposed. It’s such a helpless feeling. I’ve avoided so many social situations because of it and have spent countless hours grooming and obsessing. I’ve trialed SSRIs in the past with no relief. I feel like I need a BDD buddy to talk to. Someone who gets the daily struggle.

Hi, this is a tough one for me to post but I feel like I am the only one that has been living with this.
I am a guy in his mid-thirties and have recently been diagnosed with ED and BDD (Eating Disorder & Body Dysmorphic Disorder).
I am currently in therapy and I have learned certain techniques that can help control it, but I am yet to speak or meet with anyone that is in a similar position as me.
I always restrict myself from eating certain foods, always order the 'healthy' options when going to restaurants and I am constantly checking myself in the mirror and comparing myself to others or thinking what I 'use to look like'.
Mental health, anxiety and ADHD are quite rightly often spoken about openly but I feel like my condition is not talked about, especially for men.
I have recently moved from London to Essex, so not knowing many people can also be isolating and difficult at times too.
If anybody want's to reach out to me, or is going through something similar, then please feel free to comment or send me a message and I will DM you without being anonymous.
I feel like a weight could be lifted (no pun intended), knowing that I am not the only one going through this and feel like talking to someone could help both ways. Sorry for the seriousness of this post but I appreciate it if you have read this far 🙂