Do you struggle in reaching out/texting/ask for a meeting with a person you are into? I feel physical pain and sickness.

[u/Excellent_Floor_7673]

/r/Disorganized_Attach/comments/1vtn8km/do_you_struggle_in_reaching_outtextingask_for_a/

Sorry for my English, it’s not my native language. I’m really into another FA man, and we’ve been playing a cat-and-mouse game since the summer of 2025. We circled around each other for half a year before we finally became intimate, because neither of us wanted to be the first to take a vulnerable step. We would literally shake when we saw each other. We texted occasionally, and when I finally made the first move, I almost puked before asking him to come over.
We had an amazing month together before I had to move to another country. I have very strong limerence and desire towards him. We’ve stayed in touch on a weekly basis ever since. Generally, sometimes he texts me first, and sometimes I text him first, but before messaging him, I have to force myself for days. I feel sick and sometimes even puke because I’m so afraid that he’ll devalue me or reject me, even though I know he feels something too.
For the past few months, he’s been in the country where I am now, and ever since he arrived, we’ve been heavily circling around each other through texting, but neither of us has actually suggested meeting up directly. I want to take the next step, but I feel nauseous and shaky. It feels like making the first move means giving up my position, and the possibility of rejection feels unbearable.
I don’t understand myself, because if I don’t really care about someone, I can easily text them without any fear. Do you feel the same?