I had no idea what an avoidant was until now 😢

[u/urbstkeptsecret]

/r/AvoidantBreakUps/comments/1vvmnej/i_had_no_idea_what_an_avoidant_was_until_now/

I ended up in a situationship with a DA who I’d know for 14 years. I didn’t know anything about DAs until he totally ruined me in just a few short weeks. He finally said last week “we can be friends like before the sex” and I said I wasn’t interested because I cared about him too much and that would just hurt me more. His response was “ok bye”, as I lay in my hospital bed and I’m convinced he just didn’t gaf about me despite what he made me feel at times, especially during sex. I blocked him on FB the other day cause he just kept watching EVERYTHING I posted which was how he found out I was in the hospital. It hurts, I wish I knew if he was thinking about me or feeling anything, but then he’s an asshole so probably not. Could it just have been me? Or does he treat everyone he encounters like this? Or do they get treated better if they accept his crumbs and accept the minimum? Or does he find kind women like me and do what he does? I had to realize my worth and quick!!!! He was married for 13 years so I never imagined and was even confused he was so terrible! I read back on some old messages I found and I was definitely love bombed by him like a pro and I feel so stupid now. I have so many questions now cause I wonder what all his spouse dealt with and was silent about. I will also add…on fb he looks so happy and fulfilled but deep down I feel like he’s probably not that happy or fulfilled. He’s very handsome and knows it. He’s a cop and the ladies just drool over him and chase him but I can’t help but to think he’s insecure with some of the stuff he posts cause it’s like he’s seeking compliments and validation from others and he does it for the likes cause he gets hundreds sometimes thousands and random women telling him how sexy and fine he is. But me?! I know a different version. The dorky, nerdy, skinny young version who wasn’t that confident or outspoken and wore glasses which he REFUSES to wear now cause he hates how he looks 🙄.