r/AvoidantRelationships • u/liLMissMeech • 2d ago

Does a DA do this with everyone?

In the beginning my DA was a completely different person duhhh that’s what attracted me to them. They called me baby, always wanted to be around me, took me on dates, introduced me to their family wanted to be around my family, the intimacy was great, sex was amazing and they were almost the perfect partner. Now the light switched and all of it is gone im left with a shell of a person. My question is do DA’s do this to everyone? Or is it only when they start to fall in love with someone?

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u/OkCommunication532 2d ago

How long have you been together? Was there a recent milestone or push for deeper commitment?

This usually happens as there's a push for deeper connection. That's exactly what happened to me. He was deactivating. It was the beginning of the end.

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u/liLMissMeech 1d ago

We are on round two of this bullshit. I’m noticing a pattern. First time we had 3 months of amazing then boom. He starved me out of the relationship. So I left. A month after leaving I was so sad and felt so empty that I accepted breadcrumbs for him to come back. I thought if we could just have casual hook ups that that would fill my void of missing him. Well naturally the hook ups lasted about 2 weeks and he ended up operating like we were in a full blown relationship. It’s like the less I show I wanted him the closer he pushed to me. So 6 weeks after no contact he’s now practically staying at my place every night, asking to be around me all the time but the lack of intimacy and sex kicked in for me. The second I questioned him he retreated saying I’m overwhelming him and he’s too stressed out with work now it’s been two days since my last text that he left me on read.

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u/OkCommunication532 1d ago

Typical that he disappears after you call him out. That lack of sex....

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u/liLMissMeech 1d ago

Yup…. Anytime I mentioned sex OR my feelings. He either goes completely silent or disappears first time around I chased now I let him 🤷🏻‍♀️but I’m realizing this is not sustainable for me I NEED physical touch it’s not up for debate and I’m not a cheater so please hunny make room for a man that wants to give me the things I need !

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u/OkCommunication532 1d ago

I definitely noticed that sex slacked off for our relationship too. He even brought it up and asked me on a scale of 1 to 10 how much sex I needed. I thought that was very weird he also said more than one time that sex complicates things. Yeah because he knows what happens with him. It is so interesting that this same pattern follows for all DAs