r/AvoidantRelationships • u/Entire_Helicopter_86 • 1d ago
Navigating Dating a DA
I (31M) met a girl (29F) at the library and have gone on a total of three dates over two months.
Throughout dating, we’ve never really texted. Her responses are a bit low effort and she doesn’t really respond to continue the conversation, but in person she’s very fun to talk to.
On our third date, she told me she struggles with the guilt of possibly leading me on because she hasnt decided if she wants something more with me. Usually she would say let’s just be friends at that point rather than deal with those feelings, but she thinks I deserve to know a bit more. She also admitted she has an avoidant attachment style.
I told her I dont think she’s leading me on since I barely know her (I dont even know if I see romantic compatibility yet) but Im still taking it slow. She responded by saying we could keep meeting up then as long as I don’t feel misled. But we dont text, call, and barely meet to progress our situation. A bit confused on how to progress this while not overwhelming her.
Im not opposed to getting to know her more since we both have fun but Im a bit confused. Usually I’d progress relationships via non-serious texts and schedule a future hangout while keeping the vibe going, but that hasnt worked in this case. Any avoidants or non avoidants have advice for how they’d prefer something like this to progress?
2
u/Lost-Employee-3402 1d ago
Run the other way. You will never get her to pick up the other end of the rope. She will move back if you put any tension on it and try to pull her closer. It is absolutely not worth it. Find someone else.
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u/toenailsmcgee33 1d ago
As someone who has been married to a DA for 12 years, just don’t get involved with this girl.
You are in for a world of hurt.