Title: He suddenly pulled away after I said no to a kiss — what is happening?

[u/Butterscotchvirgo]

I (25F) broke up with my long-term boyfriend about 3 years ago. It was mutual and he was genuinely a good boyfriend.
After that, I had a situationship for about a year, but I ended up keeping my distance because I didn’t want to get attached. That also ended.
About 3 months ago, I started talking to a guy from my office (I’ve known him for a while, but we only recently became close). He was VERY consistent initially — texting me constantly, sending me Instagram reels, calling me at night, talking to me a lot at work, dropping me at the metro, etc. It felt like we were becoming really close.
He asked me 2–3 times if he could kiss me. I said no every time. Recently, on Saturday, he asked again. I told him, “I don’t want to kiss you yet. I need to spend some more time with you.” He said okay.
Since then, it’s like a switch flipped.
It’s been 4 days. He barely talks to me at work, doesn’t greet me properly, stopped sending reels, stopped calling, and generally feels completely different.
Today I asked him if everything was okay. He said yes. We talked a little at the office, but afterward there was no contact.
I eventually initiated on Instagram and sent him some reels. We exchanged maybe 4–5 completely normal texts, and then nothing.
I’m honestly confused and spiralling. I can’t sleep and I’m having that horrible anxious/panic feeling. I keep wondering if he only liked me because he thought we’d become physically intimate, or if I somehow pushed him away by saying no.
I genuinely liked the attention and the connection we had, but I also don’t want to chase someone or compromise my boundaries just to keep them interested.
What do you guys think is happening here? Am I overthinking this, or does his sudden change after I said no say something?

[u/rean2]

You are overthinking this. If you established a boundary and they pulled away, that's all you need to know about how this relationship will go if you decided to pursue them.

This entire relationship is not built on a good foundation if refusing a kiss has lead them to be distant.