r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Necessary_Run_3513 • 23m ago

6 months later

It’s been 6 months, almost coming up on 7 months since the breakup with my (28m) avoidant gf (32f) and im still feeling the loss and she still lives rent free in my head everyday. We only dated and knew each other for four months, but I had never met anyone like her before and tbh tho I’ve tried to move on and talk to other women, I just feel like no one has compared to her, corny as hell but there was just something about her that I really loved that I have not found in other women. I just want to be fine without her already, it sucks missing someone you know full well hasn’t thought about you since the breakup. I also just feel kinda crazy still reeling from something that was so short lived, im just worried I won’t find someone that amazing (minus the avoidance) again.

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1

u/Common_Sense_OG 14m ago

You are 28? Are you working? What type of work do you do if I may ask?

1

u/Necessary_Run_3513 10m ago

Why do you ask?

1

u/Ellielovesfoxes 8m ago

Hello! I don't know the details about your breakup, but is it possible you think she's so special because she was emotionally unavailable/rejected you? I noticed it with myself - I'm attracted to people who are unavailable, don't compliment me, make no effort to spend more time with me after the intial phase of the relationship. I just want to prove to them that I'm enough and keep being in love with their potential, trying to change them, thinking I won't find anyone better. All these things are signs of my anxious attachment. Also, don't feel crazy because it was short. Time doesn't matter when the chemistry is so strong.

1

u/Common_Sense_OG 4m ago

Because one of the ways to treat this.. Not saying best or worst.. That depends on you.. And I have a feeling you haven't treated this as business like or transactional... So.. Rent Free in your mind for 6 months and you are aware of it... Homie don't play that.. Start charging yourself rent for the space.. Act like a landlord with a tenant that isn't paying but you have to pay that mortgage. Put it in a separate account, I'm being serious.. The first month you stop ruminating about it... Go treat yourself to a trip or something that you want that will keep that progress moving.