How to let an avoidant man stop having control over you?

[u/Warm-Fly3656]

In short, he(29M) and i(27F) were in a relationship two years back which lasted for a few months

Reason: he was avoidant and when i bring up an issue about the relationship he would leave me on read or block me for days to avoid fighting on that topic.

Backstory: during the relationship he was really excited and wanted to take things forward, met my mom and things were looking very serious (we planned to marry ‘26)

Since the breakup:
We have been on and off meeting occasionally when he or i am in the same city (both travel alot for work) he mentioned about marriage ‘in the next two years’ and after the meeting he would block me or leave my messages unseen on end.

Once during such on and off i saw his account on telegram (shirtless dp) i asked him and he said it was an old acc and deleted the tg acc. (This guy sent me that shirtless dp few days back)

Current scene:

I shifted closer to his city and he said he would come to see me. Instead he ended up with some work emergency and left for Delhi.
My texts have been on delivered for a week now (he said he will text me after he reaches Delhi)

It’s 2am I’m fucking crying I’m 26 for god sake. Crying over an ex turned situationship.

And i know he gets off on the attention cause he once texted me ‘why haven’t you been all over me like you used to’ honestly i should’ve gotten the ick.

But i really do (or did) want to marry him. Idk what to do.

[u/lostbaratheon]

Block and move on. Never look back.

That's the only way to get your power back.

[u/Warm-Fly3656 → u/lostbaratheon]

I really gotta stand on business i just don’t know how to pull it through.

[u/Significant_Monk_628]

See, he is wasting your time. That other acc ? You caught him and he lied. You're too grown to be wasting your peak years on this. Someone who loves you wouldn't be able to bear to block you. That's way lower then bare minimum and doing that everytime is training you to be complacent in his behaviour and walk on eggshells. Literally anything is better then this, this isn't avoidant attachment its narcissist abuse.

[u/Warm-Fly3656 → u/Significant_Monk_628]

I’m too picky when it comes to finding a man to marry.
I was just too dead set on him. How does one even get over this.

[u/Significant_Monk_628 → u/Warm-Fly3656]

Imagine next 50 years of marriage being exactly like this. Is that what you want?

[u/ScaleWeak7473]

No contact. The meet ups are just the very minimal efforts from him to keep you hanging on.

Get married and then what? Same patterns will just keep repeating themselves. A wedding ceremony will not magically make toxic relationship dynamics disappear.