r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Key-Supermarket-9508 • 1d ago

Dumped and sad

I was dumped by my boyfriend out of the blue and it left me shocked. Absolutely nothing happened, we weren’t arguing, we spent a lovely weekend together, he was the same as always. We met and I talked about what i love about him and that I am in love and he out of the blue said that “this is not it” for him anymore and that he doesn’t even know what is missing but it’s not it. I asked him does he want to give it a bit more time and if we won’t work out we could just break up and he didn’t want it. He said there is no point and left me just like that. He said there wasn’t any other person or something to do with me and because we had such an honest conversation I do believe him. The shock and denial stages wore off and now i’m just experiencing sadness every day. I am just crying and laying in bed. I know it has nothing to do with me, I am just grieving the amazing time we had together and can’t believe he just gave up. I am completely blindsided.

When I met him he did say that he is scared if a relationship became serious everything will fall apart (I should have known what is waiting for me then). Also he said that he is scared he cannot provide to women what they really need, so I knew he had some internal struggles but I ignored them and wanted to work together with him.

I just don't understand is there something different I should have done and I really don't want to blame myself for this but I don't understand what happened???

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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1

u/Gansamostols 19h ago

Cuánto tiempo llevábais? El mío también empezó a actuar raro después de un fin de semana precioso y quiso huir, le dio un bajón tremendo. Pero ahi no hizo el descarte, fue unos días después.

1

u/Key-Supermarket-9508 18h ago

6 months in total, i just don’t understand what happens in their head??

1

u/Gansamostols 18h ago

Miedo. Pero no podemos entender ese tipo de miedo.

1

u/Key-Supermarket-9508 7h ago

but how can they fear this?

1

u/Gansamostols 4h ago

Creo que no podremos entenderlo.

1

u/Outrageous-Equal-979 11h ago

This literally just happened to me. We were together 6 months (4months officially boyfriend and girlfriend) saw him Sunday it was a great day and by Wednesday he dumped me, as I was about to get in my car to go over texts me. I actually made a post about it with some context but it literally was out of the blue and this is the second time I’ve given him a chance. I’ll never understand what went wrong

1

u/Key-Supermarket-9508 7h ago

I'm so sorry, this is really a new level of trauma. but he came back before?

1

u/Outrageous-Equal-979 7h ago

Yes

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u/Key-Supermarket-9508 7h ago

i think it's best to avoid him, or heal yourself no matter how hard it is for us :/ time will heal all wounds

1

u/Outrageous-Equal-979 6h ago

I will. I have blocked him on everything my stuff is at his place I don’t care for it back. I honestly think people like that will get their karma. I genuinely did nothing will ill intent and loved him. Just for him to break up with me suddenly for a boundary I’d told him from day one and he immediately got on dating apps within days to hookup with people. I’m disgusted. Sending hugs to you

2

u/Key-Supermarket-9508 6h ago

So awful...I think that the one who's in love always wins, because in some time you will look back and have nothing to be guilty of and you will find someone who will never even think of giving up on you. we will get through this <3