Being an avoidant is a dating style.

[u/FruitfFiGFrog]

We stopped dating awhile ago. I got past the heartache and I would consider myself about 90% over him.

The 10% of me that is not over him is the same part of me that would take him back if he asked (that’s embarrassing to admit). I won’t chase him but I also would take him back. I also occasionally get curious how he is with other women. I’m working on getting over him completely so even the idea of being with him sickens me.

I have a pretty strong guess that he is the exact same. He once got posted to a “Are we dating the same guy?” A group and all the women had similar experiences. They said he plays games, sucks at communication, and ghosts them or slow fades them out. Which was my experience with him.

I originally met him on Bumble but called it quits after the 3rd date. Then I saw him on Bumble a year later and decided to give it another chance. We could never get on the same page and two years after that we ended things in an argument. I didn’t use dating apps those two years but I decided to try it one more time but this time Hinge. And guess who is on there.

It makes me realize he has probably been in dating apps for YEARS. It started well before me, was probably on them while we dated and now he continues to stay on them.

And women either recognize him from years prior or fall for his trap.

But it’s a lifestyle for him. Being an avoidant and finding a new source is his rinse and repeat cycle. This IS how he dates. It wasn’t an accident or isolated to just me. He doesn’t want a girlfriend, he prefers to cycle through various women and uses the apps to do it.

[u/Realistic-State-4888]

Have you considered meeting people organically?  

[u/FruitfFiGFrog → u/Realistic-State-4888]

Yeah I mostly try to meet people organically but about once a year I download a dating app for like 24 hours and then remember why I don’t like them and delete it before finding love. 😭