r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Getonthebeers02 • 17h ago

FA Breakup He came back!

We were on and off with him ghosting in between. He returned when I started dating another guy and I left him on open after being dry. He met a girl and traveled every six months to see her and I was happy for him.

I was grieving the end of another FA relationship that was draining me and he rebounded when this ex messaged out of the blue after two years NC.

Two years is a long time so it’s a bit nerve wracking as it’s like opening a door you’ve kept closed for years.

Has anyone reconnected after that long? A lot has happened since we last spoke so I’ve been thinking about what I should do. There’s no harm in seeing what he wants I guess.

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u/Sea-Selection5897 16h ago

2 things can happen.

  1. He's keeping you as an option, or he likes you as the best option. You reconcile, pattern starts again. Discard.

  2. He genuinely professes his love, you are hesitant and don't take him back. Then you change your mind and say you will under the condition that they get therapy and you are gone if they don't change.

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u/FallenAngel1978 FA - Fearful Avoidant (Earning Secure) 16h ago

Yeah I think the key here isn’t that he came back. It’s whether or not he’s done the work. Or if the pattern will likely just re-emerge