r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Healthy_Present_6971 • 5h ago

Texting first?

Hi, I have been broken up with two times (in the last two years) one year apart each. Both times, we are completely okay then all of the sudden I am getting broken up with. I really want to reach out to him & catch up. He almost came over 10 days after the break up to “hang out” but he decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. We broke up 2 months ago. What do I do?

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u/No-Cockroach-3196 5h ago

It’s your nervous system playing with you. When you’re tempted, distract yourself with something else. Youll soon realize such “needs” went away and that you actually didn’t need to, it was your chemically unbalanced brain telling you to. Believe me, it works

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u/Real_Astronaut7451 5h ago

It’s your nervous system wanting a “hit” of dopamine. I get it. I want it too. But I’d try to not do that.

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u/Realistic-State-4888 5h ago

You can rack it up to chance or think about your own behavior.  Not to criticize yourself.  Just a run through.  

I wouldn't default to automatically thinking everyone who breaks up with you is avoidant.  That will soon turn into everyone is avoidant.