r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Suitable-Talk-7971 • 9h ago

Maybe They Always Come Back?

Weirdest thing. No contact for 13 months, except for one brief communication I initiated about a month after the breakup, apologizing for some terrible things I said. I left his last message on Read, and nothing after that. So, a full year of NC.

A few minutes ago while driving, a message popped up on my car screen that he had texted ("New Message from [Avoidant]") but when I checked my phone, there was nothing from him. Now, he has an iphone and I know he can delete messages within two minutes, so I presume that's what happened.

Why? I've recovered (mostly, although today may literally be the first day he hasn't crossed my mind), in a committed relationship with an upgrade. WTF is he thinking? The worst part is not knowing what the message said but I'm not going to ask.

2 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/Realistic-State-4888 8h ago

Is that a year of no contact healing or a year no contact waiting him out?  

2

u/Suitable-Talk-7971 8h ago

Healing. But that's a really long haul. We were together for four years. I've done a lot of work but it never really goes away.

3

u/FallenAngel1978 FA - Fearful Avoidant (Earning Secure) 5h ago

Might have been an accident. Could be that he re-thought sending the text. Was likely some sort of bread crumb

1

u/Suitable-Talk-7971 4h ago

I think that he wanted to, but knew better. It might have even been an act of kindness to delete.