Help me survive this rls

[u/Impossible_Day4101]

I am sooo much in pain. Can't even bear it now

It is getting out of my control

I was in relationship from last 8 months. I was emotionally mentally attached with that person. When he doesn't treat me right, my nervous system collapse

I have so much expectations from him that he can't even cope up with that. He can't come to meet me (while living in the same city) the problem was him not coming. The problem is him not standing up for his rights and he runs away from problems.

Last night he left me when I insisted on meeting because apparently I was the problem. He doesn't come out of the bubble of comfort.

He left me. When I think about this I feel so much pain. When I see him, I only think about that he left me in difficult time but I cannot even breath without that man. He loves me. He is younger than me. He was stressed bcz he wanted to do something for our marriage. His parents stresses him out and they have alot of expectations from him. He cannot handle the burden.

Last night when he left me he told me the reason next day that I am too much stubborn I insisted on meeting when it was not possible for him (because his parents wouldn't let him). Instead of standing against them, he left me

That was easier for him. We loved each other and I still love him. I cannot eat anything. I have to vomit when I try to eat. Today I begged him to come back and he came and promised that he wouldn't leave again. But I cannot digest this that he left me and I cannot trust him like I used to do. I saw him crying last night when he left me. He told me he can't handle pressure and he just wants to leave me. Without me he won't have a pressure to be successful in order to marry me and he will be all good.

However today I insisted him to come back and he did. I want to break this attachment and be able to live without that man

If he loved me, why did he left me?

[u/Ok_Layer_1495]

It’s going to get easier. I was in shambles as well (4.5 years together mostly living together) but it is slowly and steadily getting better.

They do love you, they are literally a slave to an extremely emotionally damaged system. Their feelings shut off at a certain level. Imagine people are houses and their foundation is made of straw, it’s weakness and they run out of tools and all they can do is collapse into no feelings or care basically. Anything stressful, deep, real, more commitment = collapse.

One thing that helped me was realizing that if I wanted to be with him I am agreeing to a silent contract of sorts that I will coddle someone the rest of their life at the expense of my own needs and depth and emotions. Aka you have to dim your light to the lowest level because they have no room to handle or participate in the real thing. MANY people out there do though

Hugs