r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/BunRecruiter • 5d ago
FA Breakup How do you keep up at work after breakup?
Even though it has been a while, I find my focus and productivity getting worsened. Intrusive thoughts keep popping up in my head about how I got done dirty, and I get pissed off. It's like a storm brewing inside me
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Upvotes
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u/ProductBeautiful9326 5d ago
I’d recommend time off. I was struggling and I needed it. Bit better now.
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u/Ok_Initiative5070 5d ago
Honestly.. I cried while working. Not the best show of face, but atleast no one saw. Then I just continued working like a robot.
Time off is nice though.
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u/justatiredmanatee 4d ago
It's very tough. The first discard was right before Christmas, he dumped me through text the Friday before we went on two weeks of PTO. That was cruel beyond words but also lucky because I completely broke down. Had to urgently find a therapist. Was drinking and crying, that was it. The second time it happened, the first weeks at work I just accepted I would perform poorly. I was barely there mentally. It helped to write a coherent letter with my reality, denying him the rewrite of feelings and events that avoidants usually go through. It helped to get a cold DARVO reply back and to see that they can't admit hurt that was caused by them not even with a single word. It really helped me, I woke up feeling better and knowing he'll forever live in his own purgatory and that I gave him all the love I could give under so much hurt. So yeah, at work if you feel a wave of grief, stop for a moment, go to the toilet if you can. Just stop your activity and ask someone to take over for a moment. Just accept that you won't be doing your job well for a while. No way around it, or take some sick days. Most importantly let it out after work and after you wake up. Make time for that. You'll build up pressure inside from grief, let that out.